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Ahoy mateys...

It has been said that if one was to put a thousand monkeys and a thousand typewriters in a room, that eventually, over time, they would type out War and Peace. This is not true. In reality, all one would really get is a giant monkey orgy and a thousand sticky typewriters. On this note, welcome to my page - self-proclaimed genius at its critically acclaimed worst.

Please note: I am moving all writing-type stuff to the "Let me see ONLY the written crap" page, as linked below. New writing stuff will go there, and the old stuff will eventually disappear from this here main page to de-clutterate it a little.

Another please note: I might do something with this beast sometime soon. Beware!

Music, eh? (Semi-updated 7/31/03)

In the Words of Capn...

Erotic Pictures of Hot, Steamy, Sweaty, Hairy, Bulging Dicks... (Updated 6/30/99?)

Let me see ONLY written crap... (Not even so new anymore, you goober.)

Eeeee I want to see the crew! (Updated 2/26/whoknows)

Play a Fun Game. (Updated 9/27/99?)

Crazy People Like My Site!!! (Updated 9/12/98?)

If you would like me to link your page, e-mail me or abduct me in a comfortable burlap sack of some sort, and place me in a room with The Cartoon Network in Spanish playing on a large tv screen.


Pen Yer Name In Me Guestbook Guestbook by GuestWorld Peep At Me Guestbook Like The Landlubber Ye Are

*All of the words and other funny looking little symbols used to represent the spoken language found on this page are mine. I put 'em together that way first, so there. They're 1999, Capnplank... and =8^-()= and stuff like that are to me. Or so I'd like to believe. So if you use 'em, you gotta pay me. Trust me. Really, that's how it's supposed to work. Except for the sounds. I stole those. Shhhhh...

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