I backed up a little bit after sensing that AJ had tensed up. “Are you sure? We’d have more privacy if we stayed in here.”

Funny, I was thinking the same thing. Not for exactly the same reasons though… AJ lifted his chin so that he was no longer staring into my intense eyes and nodded his head. “Yeah,” he croaked, clearing his throat, “I want to sit down somewhere.”

The both of us left the small bathroom and walked back out into the hallway. The TV could still be heard from the room at the end of the bus, so we walked towards the front where the kitchenette was. AJ looked around nervously and noted that Howie was nowhere in sight. Hopefully, AJ thought, he was back in the rec room with the rest of the guys.

AJ and I sat down at the small table opposite one another. He grimaced as he settled into his seat, and we sat for a moment in silence while he gathered his thoughts. He looked up cautiously, only to see me staring at him easily, waiting. He looked away, drawing in a deep breath, and decided to start by skirting around the issues that dealt with me in any way.

"Corinne… Howie and I were arguing over a personal issue of mine.” He looked up into my confused eyes, urging himself to continue. “He’s worried about my health, and he thinks I’ve been lying to him about it; which I haven’t. So it’s led to some… tension between us.”

”Why? What’s wrong with your health?” I asked worriedly.

AJ took in a deep, steadying breath. “Um…” This is it, he told himself, swallowing his nerves; “Well, you see… Corinne… a few years ago, after I had just turned eighteen, I… I began to…”

I looked up at AJ, trying to decipher what he was saying through all the mumbling and stuttering. Finally, I just blurted out, “AJ. Just spill it.”

AJ squeezed his eyes shut, and took my advice. He just spilled it, with all the gory details.

Brian chuckled at the TV program he, Kevin, and Nick were watching. After creaming Nick in a grueling game of Star Wars: Pod Racer, the blond had decided he was tired and wanted to just watch some TV. Brian hadn’t made too big of a deal out of it (just shouting that Nick was a wuss and a sore loser), and had dragged himself up off of the floor to sit on the couch next to me. That’s when he had noticed that I was no longer in the room. He hadn’t thought too much of it at the time and had settled down with the guys to watch some TV, but he was starting to become restless. “Hey Kev,” Brian grabbed for his cousin’s attention, “Do you know where Corinne went?”

Kevin glanced away from the TV, still chuckling, and shrugged at Brian. “She said she needed to go out for a bit but would be back soon.”

Brian arched his eyebrows; “’Out for a bit’? What does that mean? We’re on a bus, there’s very few places she can go ‘out’ to,” he grinned.

Again Kevin shrugged, loosing interest in the conversation. “Maybe she just needed to leave the room for a while. You and Nick bickering all the time can get sickening after listening to it for so long.” Kevin yelped in surprise as pillows came flying towards his head from both Brian and Nick’s direction. He threw them back in playful annoyance; “Frick and Frack you shall always be!”

Brian and Nick threw their hands in the air and shouted their personal victory cry, eliciting a chuckle from Kevin. Brian smiled, turning his attention back to the television, and things in the room got quiet again. Finally he decided he had waited for Corinne long enough. “I’ll be right back, guys; I’m gonna go see where Corinne went to.” Nick and Kevin both mumbled an, ‘okay’ as Brian exited the room.

He started down the long rows of bunks, checking Corinne’s quickly as he passed it. Then he heard voices from further down the bus and he made for those. As he got closer he could tell the one voice speaking was AJ’s and it was coming from the kitchenette.

”It’s been something I’ve been battling for years now, but I feel it’s no longer a problem. Howie, on the other hand, thinks it is…” Brian wondered at the conversation, as he continued to slowly make his way for it. “I’m glad you’re here, though, Corinne…”

As Brian finally made his way to the edge of the room he could see AJ and I sitting at the kitchenette; my back was to him but he could see by the expression on AJ’s face that we were sharing an intense conversation. He was about to announce his presence when he noticed that my body was stretched over the table so that I could grasp AJ’s hands in my own. Brian frowned as he saw this, and once again looked up at our intense faces.

”What’s going on in here?”

AJ looked visibly shook. He looked up at Brian with horrified eyes, as though he’d been caught doing something terrible.

I turned around, startled by the new voice. “Oh, Brian,” I gasped, feeling my head swim from the shock of the surprise. “W-we were just talking. What are you doing up here? Are you and Nick done playing your game?” Brian was still frowning, and I wondered at his expression.

”Yeah, we’re finished. What are you doing up here? I turned around and you were gone.”

”I needed to talk to AJ.”

”About what?”

I gaped at Brian, surprised by how cold he was acting. I turned my head to look at AJ, who still appeared to be terrified by the whole turn of events, and turned back to Brian, answering defiantly; “I don’t think it’s any of your business. It was a private conversation.”

These words just made Brian’s suspicion grow, and he felt more and more uneasy with the whole situation. “Oh?” he asked, his annoyance evident in his voice; “What could be so secret between one of my best friends and my girlfriend that I can’t, or don’t already, know about it?”

”What does it matter?” I asked. I was becoming annoyed myself by the way he was acting.

”Corinne, it’s okay,” AJ mumbled dimly, disturbed by the whole situation.

”What is going on?” Brian was beginning to shout now.

”We were just talking!” I shouted back, refusing to pamper his unfounded suspicions.

”Oh were you?” Brian asked pointedly. Before I could answer him another voice spoke up in my defense.

”It’s true, Brian,” Howie all of a sudden appeared from the front of the bus. “They were just talking; I heard the whole conversation from here.” Howie glanced at AJ, who was looking more and more unhealthy each passing moment, and gave him a sincere smile.

Brian glared up at Howie for a moment before he returned his eyes to the two seated at the small table. Receiving a harsh glare in return from me made him feel shame over his accusations, but he still didn’t see why we were being so secretive. “So then what’s the big deal?” he asked, unable to keep the chill out of his voice.

”That’s the point, Brian,” I barked in return; “It isn’t a big deal! You were the one that made it out to be one!”

Brian leaned forwards, taking on a defensive stance. “Well excuse me for being curious over you two and your ‘private conversation’!”

”AJ is my friend too, Brian. Would you be biting at me like this if it were Nick I was talking to instead?” I growled, annoyed with him.

”Um, do you guys mind if AJ and I have a moment alone?” Howie chimed in nervously. Brian and I looked up at Howie, who looked totally overwhelmed by the argument, and I turned back to face Brian as I answered him.

”Not at all, Howie.” I hopped to my feet, directing my words to Brian this time, “Let’s take this somewhere else.”

”Fine,” Brian answered sharply, turning on his heels and heading back down the corridor with me storming after him.

AJ groaned despairingly, resting his head down on the table. Could things get any worse?

Howie approached him and laid a hand on his shoulder. “I think we need to talk,” he said carefully. AJ squeezed his eyes shut—yep, they were definitely getting worse.

”You’re being ridiculous, Brian!” I hissed at his retreating back. He stopped abruptly and turned to face me. We were now standing in-between the rows of bunks.

”I am not being ridiculous!” he seethed in return, trying to keep his voice down so as not to attract attention from the two in the room just behind him. “What do you expect me think when I walk in to see you two sharing a heart-to-heart and god knows what else!”

I threw my hands up in annoyance, letting out an aggravated grunt. Did all men have to be the same when it came to coddling their girlfriends? “I told you!” I began in exasperation. “We were just talking!”

”Then what was the big secret I couldn’t know about?” Brian shot back. “And why were you two so buddy-buddy until I walked in the room, and then all of a sudden you broke apart like you had just been caught doing something wrong?”

”You startled me!” I defended. “And AJ was confiding in me something about his past… not to everybody and their cousin, but me. Who knows, you probably know about it already, but I wasn’t going to take that chance with his feelings! I was trying to be supportive; that’s what friends do!”

”Yeah, sure, because everyone knows AJ’s reputation of being ‘friendly!’” Brian spat.

Without really thinking about what I was doing I landed one swift slap right across his face. I was so angry at his words I delivered such a blow that his whole face twisted to the side. Shocked at what I had done, I stood stalk still, watching as he slowly turned his face back towards me. His eyes were burning so dark that the usual crisp, blue color of his iris had turned a dreadful graying midnight color.

”I can’t believe you did that,” he breathed, the anger that was evident in his face void from the words. And with that, he marched off.

”Brian!” I called after him, “Wait!” But he wouldn’t stop. Aggravated with both him and myself now, I stormed to the back of the bus, opening and slamming the rec room door behind me.

Kevin and Nick looked up immediately, startled by the loud intrusion. I turned to them, tears in my eyes and anger on my face. Wordlessly I stared at Nick.

Kevin, looking to Nick and sensing he needed to talk to me, mumbled, “I better go find my cousin,” and left us alone in the room. After he had gone, I pointed angrily at Nick and barked, “Your best friend is an idiot!”

Startled, Nick stared at me for a few minutes, gathering his thoughts. “Well yeah,” he began. “I knew that, but why are you so angry?”

Despite all my anger, I had to chuckle. Nick grinned triumphantly; “It’s much too easy to get you to laugh,” he snickered. “Now come talk to me about it.”

I did as I was told and came over to where he was sitting, settling myself down next to him. He, as he always had done in the past, took me by the back of the neck and laid my head on his shoulder as he hugged me close to him. It had been so long since the last time he’d been there for me to come to with my problems, I had almost forgotten how much comfort I got from just being in his presence. “I remember,” Nick began softly, “when you and BJ used to fight when I was home, and you’d both come crying to me to fix it. So I’d hug you guys close like I’m doing now and try to mediate. That was before BJ hit puberty and turned into the devil.”

I laughed at him. “No, it was you that turned into the devil, Mr. Big-shot teenage super-star,” I corrected him.

”I beg to differ,” he defended; “You have to admit that BJ did take on some rather ‘charming’ traits once she turned thirteen.” I nodded my head against his shoulder—I sure missed having BJ around, especially at times like these. “I always felt close to you, though, even after you hit that obnoxious age as well,” Nick continued, nudging me playfully. “You’ve always been my little sister, and I’ve always wanted to be there for you when you needed me; even though I haven’t always been.”

I let the words sink in, moved by them all. This was the same Nickolas Carter that used to call me ‘that-useless-clod-my-sister-hangs-out-with-too-much’? He wasn’t a man prone to too much affection, so his little speech was especially touching. “Thank you,” I murmured into his shirt, not knowing what else to say.

”So, tell me. What did that idiotic friend of mine do now?”

I let out a long sigh before beginning my tale of woe. “He accused me and AJ of being ‘too friendly’ behind his back,” I spat. I felt Nick tense up considerably against me before he squeaked out, “What made him think that?” I glanced up at his face, which looked unusually drawn, and continued; “We were having a completely innocent private conversation in the kitchenette, and Brian felt he should know all about it even though he wasn’t invited into the discussion. And because I didn’t want to tell him about it because AJ had confided in me and I didn’t want to do anything to break his trust, he got angry and suspicious, which was totally uncalled for,” I rambled off in nearly one breath.

”Oh,” Nick panted, relaxing somewhat.

I again glanced up at Nick, confused by his obvious uneasiness. “Why? Should he have reason to overreact?” I asked.

”No, no!” Nick stuttered, fidgeting under my weight. He looked down at me and refocused his attention to my frustration. He smiled, a somewhat fake smile, and continued. “Just remember us guys don’t always think with the same intellect and higher reasoning capabilities as you women—lesser brain functioning and all,” he said sarcastically, arching an eyebrow at me. I grinned cheekily in return. He chuckled, the remnants of his discomfort bleeding through the sound. “Brian cares about you very much, Corinne. He’s just at that stage in a relationship where he’s unsure about where everything is going, and he’s scared it’ll all just disappear on him.”

I flattened my head against Nick’s chest once again, letting him talk without interruption. “Being a guy who’s always on the road, keeping crazy hours in a hectic schedule, people like you don’t come around very often.” He paused, rubbing my back in a soothing fashion. “Believe me, I know,” he mumbled. “So don’t blame him if he’s just a little worried about losing you. It’s just something that comes with the territory of being a famous, isolated, untouchable pop star.”

”Yeah, but he isn’t gonna ‘lose me’,” I protested. Nick’s speech had softened me somewhat, but I was still annoyed with Brian’s behavior.

”I know that,” he exclaimed brashly. “But you can blame that on normal guy tendency. You woman! Me man—“ he pounded his chest for effect “—Me own woman! Woman MINE!”

I slapped his chest, laughing at his caveman imitation. “You big dork! Don’t tell me guys actually believe that!” Nick, laughing, didn’t dare answer that question.

AJ fidgeted nervously as Howie eased himself cautiously into the seat opposite him. He looked away ashamedly as Howie adjusted the way he sat several times, trying to buy a couple minutes to gather his thoughts. He felt just as anxious as AJ did, and to top it off he also felt like a real jerk. He cleared his throat gingerly, nearly whispering the words that finally broke the silence. “I’m sorry, J.”

AJ turned deep round brown eyes up slowly to look at his friend, wondering if he was being truly sincere. Howie’s eyes were soft and pleading, and AJ was taken aback by the genuine tenderness there. “You don’t have to apologize,” AJ mumbled in reply, turning his face away again.

Howie lifted his hands in protest. “But I do,” he said, “I feel the obligation to. I-I wrongly accused you of something, and I didn’t believe you when you tried to tell me the truth. What kind of friend does that make me?” AJ grimaced as he felt the sting of Howie’s earlier words come back to him, and did not attempt an answer. Softly, Howie sighed. “I am very, very worried about you, J. I don’t want to see a reprise of what happened back then,” he didn’t have to identify the ‘then,’ because AJ knew of when he was referring to. “I guess I was so worried about that, that I completely blocked out your real existing problems, and that was a real stupid thing to do to you as your friend. I believe this… this Corinne issue,” and he lowered his voice at my name, “is something entirely different, and I believe you now when you say you’ve been laying off the drink. I just want you to know that I care about you a lot, you’re one of my best friends, and I don’t ever want to see you do something that’ll hurt yourself. That’s why I’m going to be here for you through this, like I should have been from the start.” He reached an arm out and clapped AJ’s shoulder, showing as much open affection as any man felt secure to show.

AJ’s mouth twitched in what Howie supposed to be a smile, but aside from that small indication, AJ didn’t answer for a long while. Howie was beginning to dread that AJ would not forgive him, when AJ took in a deep breath and turned his face back towards Howie, though his eyes stayed lowered no higher than the tabletop. “Thank you,” he muttered in a soft voice, “But I don’t think there’s anything you can do for me now.” Kevin walked by then, asking if they knew where Brian was, and Howie told him that he’d stormed up to the front where Tiny Tim was. After he had left the room the two friends turned their attention back to each other. “I feel like a real jerk, Howie,” AJ muttered, leaning forward and resting his head on the table; “I feel like a Grade A ass for feeling this way, and no matter what I do I can’t stop.”

Howie sighed, leaning back in his seat. “I know. I know, man. Stuff like this is never easy,” he said. AJ snorted, shaking his head against the tabletop. For some reason, a small smile came to Howie’s face, and he laid his hand on the back of AJ’s head. “It’ll get easier, J.”

AJ was quiet for a minute, his head still. “I don’t think so, Howie.”