SRM: or Why I Love Coastering

Well, let's see.

It didn't start out that way.

Cindy Stout, one of my travelling companions, was already scheduled to land in Cincinnati, our rendezvous point, two hours ahead of me. That was *before* my plane was delayed two hours. I spent my time gluing coaster pins to my hats! I must have looked like a complete idiot - a forty year old man sitting on the floor at the airport, with his coaster pins all laid out nice and neat, gluing them together on a hat like some grade school art project. But Kevin Teufer would be so proud of me! Looky, Kevin!

With the delay, I knew Cindy would have to wait a long time. And wait she did. Four...... long..... hours. Me, I'd have gone on ahead. But Cindy's nicer than me, so she bought a book, missed her dinner, and waited. At 11:30 p.m. me and my art projects finally landed in Cincinnati.

We drove to Jeffersonville, Indiana, just outside of Louisville, where we would meet our other travelling companions, Shawn McLaughlin (RealtorGuy) and Chris Hartman (cjhartma). The entire drive, our Pontiac Sunfire kept making a screeching noise with every press of the accelerator. At one point Cindy swooned, raised her fists to her head and cried out "It's maddening, MADDENING!!!"

I always travel the evening *before* a coaster event rather than the day the event is scheduled to begin. I look at it as a buffer day. If this had happened the day of Stark Raven Mad I would have shown up at the park totally stressed out and unable to fully enjoy myself.

The next morning I met Cindy, Shawn and Chris in the hotel lobby. And we were off to Six Flags Kentucky Kingdom!

I was *really* ambivalent about visiting this park. I'd never been there before and had heard so *many* negative things about it - I found it fascinating and couldn't wait to see it for myself, but I was apprehensive about starting my coaster trip at this park.

We got to the parking lot - only $3 to park. Now *there's* a reasonable parking fee! We pull up to our spot when who should come spilling out the backseat of Tom Kelley's Yugo to enjoy the park with us but RRCers and friends Curt Hassinger, Mark Gobat, Tim Melago, Sean Flaharty, Scott Smith, Chris Trotter, Todd Bills, John Cline, Joe Schwartz, Dana and Dooley Schwartz, Joe Krapf, Jeff Johnson, Doug and Brent Wilson, Mike Saunders, Jim Westland and the Ulrichs - Robert, Peggy and Sam. Wow, all these RRCers and we're not even at the event! But wait! Trumpets are sounding! A man in the back says "Make way!" and as the crowd parts I see a man walking toward me and waving. Why, it's the honorable Mayor of Coasterville himself, Dave Bowers! Finally! After chatting on line for two years, it was an *honor* to meet his honor. Dave has a stutter when he speaks, but his words are worth waiting for - he's *very* witty and a pleasure to be around!

Wow, twenty six RRCers and we're not even at the event. We enter the park's gates and immediately stand before the most unique entrance I've ever seen at a theme park. The giant drop Hellevator rises 177 ft. in the air and wrapped around the foot of its base is a semi-circular, red brick fountain with the words "SIX FLAGS KENTUCKY KINGDOM" inscribed in shiny metal block letters. What a magnificent entrance! If that doesn't say "Thrill Park" I don't know what does. It practically screams "TA-DA!" And Hellevator has got to be the most brilliant name for an Intamin Giant Drop.

Now I had heard an endless stream of criticism about the layout of this park. About "the bridge." That the park was poorly laid out and divided in half, and that it took forever to get from one coaster to the next. Well, I walked around quite a bit, and I have to say I did not find it to be any more of a walk than at SFOG or many other parks I've been to. And the park is not divided in half. Hellevator and The Vampire are really the only thrill rides located in that area, while the vast majority of the park is across the bridge. I really didn't mind the layout. The front part seemed like a kind of grand, mega-entrance to me.

We had an absolutely perfect day at Kentucky Kingdom. The crowd was light and all the rides were very short waits, if not walk-ons. We rode some very good flat rides. Chris Hartman had never done an Enterprise before! And their Breakdance is positively the fastest, much better than Visionland's Crazy Dance. We also rode Chaos and a very bizarre ride called Quake, which looked like a Top Spin but didn't turn upside down. Instead, it tossed its riders up and down and side to side, simulating, I suppose, an earthquake. It's a very silly ride. The ride ops were very cool and offered to hold my Coke and hat.

And of course, there were the coasters. I liked the queue for The Vampire. It's narrow winding path and short, black wrought iron fencing reminded me of Batman without the Gotham City theming. The ride itself was fun - we do not have any Boomerangs in the plains states so I really enjoy riding them, and this was my fourth one. I feel kind of bad that so many enthusiasts hate or are "bored" by Boomerangs. I really don't understand how anyone could be bored on any coaster.

Next we rode the Roller Skater, and I was very happy to ride this since it was my first one! It's a very good ride for a junior coaster, and it reminds me of how thrilled I was as a kid to ride SFOT's Mini Mine Train.

We headed over to Twisted Sisters next, and oh my God, what a surprising coupla chicks these two turned out to be! I jumped on Stella first - wow. The first time she goes down is great, while Lola was just a vicious bitch, slamming me back and forth non-stop. She was particularly strong when I rode her from the front, while her backseat was surprisingly re-rideable. Huh, go figure.

Anyway, I really liked riding these sisters, over and over and over. We had our way with them several times - we all rode Stella first until we saw Joe Schwartz doing Lola all by himself. So we ditched Stella and immediately piled on Lola with Joe. No one seemed to think this behavior was unusual with these two sisters. And believe me, they were more than accommodating! They gave us nice little quickies - and always had plenty of open room for more riding.

After awhile my legs started to hurt. This was because of the restraints. They are too confining. Fortunately, Sean shouted "Thunder Run is open!" so we ditched the Sisters like yesterday's trash. See ya around, "ladies!"

Thunder Run. Now *this* is the coaster of the park! What a ride! I know, I know, they've taken this out and flattened that out and it's not the same, and blah blah blah. I really don't care, this is an incredible coaster! Lots of people told me this is running better than it has in years. I rode all but once in the front seat, and the airtime is absolutely of the slam you up and out of your seat variety! Going over that third hill I could not believe how insane the airtime was - it really takes you by surprise! The first time I rode it and went over that third hill Tom Kelley was standing at the bottom and snapped our picture without knowing it was us in the front seat - I can't wait to see the photo!

My final ride was with Tim Melago in the second row. WOOOOW! What a rush! The airtime was even more intense, and the ride had a little bit more of a bite to it. It wasn't rough by any means, it was just more of a challenging ride. That particular ride was surprisingly *tremendous.* And, as Melago would say, the second row is PHAT! It's Da bomb! It's all that and a bag of chips!

The ride ops on Thunder Run were really cool, too. They pulled up on our lap bars and every ride I had was one click. I was a little disappointed Mark Brunner and Cory PA weren't working - I was hoping to see them in action! But I would see them both in action later that night at Holiday World! We rode Thunder Run several times, then headed over to Chang.

I liked Chang! I really don't understand why some people are so blase about stand-up roller-coasters. I'd be happy standing up, laying down or facing sideways! Besides, I like the feeling of flight you get on certain stand-ups. As for Chang, though, I didn't really know what to expect because so many people had said that it was SO much worse than Cedar Point's Mantis. In my opinion, it's not that much different. The forces on Mantis are a bit stronger, so I'd probably choose to ride it over Chang, but it just depends on your preference. Both Tom Kelley and Chris Hartman said they preferred Chang for the very reason that it's a smoother ride.

Well, last but not least we rode T2. I rode with Sean Flaharty in the very backseat and honestly, it wasn't that bad! Even Sean agreed. Sean was definitely expecting the worst - he apologized in advance for the filthy language he was about to use, and he wanted to ride with me so he could hear me go "OW! OOF! OW!" But nothing happened. This was only my second SLC and I have to say SFDL's Mind Eraser was much worse. I rode Mind Eraser in the front seat and T2 in the very back, and I'm guessing that made all the difference.

Having rode all the coasters, we went for a bit of shopping. Chris Lucht had asked me to get him a very specific t-shirt of Twisted Sisters. Oh yes, here it is. Um.......... oh. Oh, my.

I'll take two, please.

We went back to Thunder Run for a few more rides then stopped for a bite to eat. Cindy mentioned that she really liked Kentucky Kingdom's pizza, so we all got a slice. It was *very* good - heavy on the sauce and the crust was very unique. We ate every bit of it. Cindy's a good cook.

A few words about Six Flags Kentucky Kingdom.

I went in knowing full well what was wrong with the park. That they didn't open all the rides at the same time. They only ran one train on all the coasters except Chang. And I totally agree, this is not a good way to run the park. And had I gone the following day (Saturday) rather than Friday, I'm sure I would have come away with a much different perception of the park.

However, not all the things I had heard about this place were true. This park is NOT a dump! I liked it so much I bought two shirts, including the racy Twisted Sisters one. Chris Lucht and I are going to have a lot of fun running around in them acting like white trash!

The park is extremely pretty - much prettier than I would have ever imagined! The walkways were attractive and well shaded for the most part - the trees were mature and there were plenty of areas with shade. The park was very clean and well decorated. I saw no trash anywhere. The water park is very unique - it's located right in the middle of the park, which I found to be very unusual and inviting! The crowd was light and very well-behaved. There was not one instance of line jumping or bad behavior while we were there. And not one, not a few, but ALL of the employees - all of the ride ops, gift shop clerks, ticket takers and food vendors - ALL of them were VERY courteous. I was completely impressed by their attitude. When I mentioned this to Mark Brunner he laughed and said "You must have gotten all the good ones!" But it's true. And it wasn't just me - all of us had a great time at the park.

Six Flags Kentucky Kingdom is easily the most surprising park of the year for me.

We left the park at 2:30 and headed for Holiday World and Stark Raven Mad. Thanks to the time change, we ended up arriving at nearly the same time we left! Cindy, Shawn and I were veterans of last year's SRM, but Chris had never been to the park before. We got our registration materials and Cindy, Shawn and Chris picked up their shirts. I didn't particularly like this year's version - the neon green did not blend well with the dirty white shirt, and the poem on the back was not as engaging as last year's. Still, for $12, it's a great value and I hope HW continues the tradition next year!

As we entered the park the parade of RRCers continued with one of my very favorite posters - your friend and mine, Dave Althoff! Dave is such a nice guy and is genuinely funny as well as a major brain! Dave is going to be helping Sean Flaharty edit his Coastered 99 video sometime this year and I can't wait to see the results! Along with Dave was his nice friend John and yet another RRCer, Paul Drabek!

Holiday World is the epitome of a hidden gem. It is so pretty, so clean, so well-maintained and managed. And the employees are all so friendly. And I see they're all still good-looking. What is up with that? Is southern Indiana a breeding ground for hunks and hotties? I don't know, but they got the hook up, that's for sure.

This was my second trip to Holiday World. My first was..... memorable. For those of you who don't know, I broke three ribs while riding the Raven at last year's Stark Raven Mad. Thankfully, no such disaster befell me this time. The only thing I broke was a smile!

We twirled on the Octopus, the best I've ever ridden. Sean and I rode the Round Up facing backwards. Tim Melago and Joe Schwartz showed their mastery of the Flyers. "Custard!................ Beef!" was the chant on The Banshee. We are a very weird lot, but we're a lot of fun. And thankfully Holiday World knows how to let people have fun!

And fun was had by all. So many RRCers attended this event. In addition to the ones already named, there was Shawn Mamros, Jerry Dorf, Glenn Payne, CoasterSue and Rich, Jeff King, Dave McCall, Tim Baldwin, Sean Winder, David O'Connor, the Fluhartys Mark, Debbie and baby Sean, Kat, Ida McIntyre, and Brian Ondrey. Did you know Brian is responsible for getting Dueling Dragons' duels to time so perfectly? Geez, color me impressed!

What a surprise it was to see CoasterJulie! I was told she wouldn't be able to come due to a friend who backed out at the last second. But thankfully John Cline came through, got her to drive down and put her up for the night. This was Julie's first coaster event as well and I know she had a blast!

I got to meet several RRCers for the first time. In addition to Paul Drabek and his honor the Mayor, Scott Reinhold (Rou28blk) and his girlfriend Laura, were first-timers at this event. They (as well as Chris and Shawn) came as my guests, and if any of you want to come next year and don't belong to a coaster club you can always come as someone's guest. I also got to meet Debbie Martin and her family. Her daughter is very cool and it was fun to talk to - she's only 13 and has already ridden 200 coasters!

There were three RRCers I never got a chance to meet. Missing in action were Mike Parker, Cameron Silver and especially Bigfoot Jacob Atkinson. I really wanted to meet you, Jacob! And just plain missed were Dave Sandborg, Chris Lucht, Todd Long, Ted Ansley, Adam Revesz, Roz Peterson, Rus Ozana, Robb and Sarah Alvey, and my sweetie Susan. Somehow it didn't seem right that you all weren't there.

Event goers were allowed to have unlimited cups of soda from any one of several stands that were placed throughout the park. More than anything else, this is something I and many others valued and appreciated as the day wore on. The sun was hot and I am not used to that kind of stifling heat! I saw one poor guy in The Raven station who had the reddest neck I've ever seen.

Meanwhile, Cindy Stout looked at me, drummed her fingers down her stringy hair and officially pronounced herself a hag.

Dave Johnson, beloved former HW employee and author of the SRM flyer, was also in attendance! I wonder how weird it was for him to come back. It was also Dave's birthday and we all sang happy birthday to him during dinner!

It was also during dinner that all of us became acquainted with the man who will lead us into the twenty first century of coaster riding. "Murphy" instilled in us a sense of pride, the likes of which I have not seen before nor since. This man is a Legend.

Speaking of Legend, I thought it was pretty funny that Will Koch wouldn't divulge the name of HW's new coaster, yet the tube that contained the 3-dimensional drawing of the coaster was clearly marked "Legend." When I pointed this out to Will later that night he looked visibly surprised and said "Ooops! I didn't see that! Oh well, at least *I* didn't give it away!" Anyway, the coaster looks very tasty indeed. Everyone seemed to be very excited about the presentation, as well as HW's announcement that next year's SRM will take place the day before opening day. They're giving us first crack at the "Daughter of Raven."

The event itself was every bit as fun as last year's. I spoke to Paula Werne briefly during dinner and she said there were over 230 in attendance, a figure slightly higher than last year's.

The Raven flew completely wild at night. Even in the afternoon she was already running faster than I remember last year, but as the sun went down and darkness took over Ravenswood, the coaster seemed dangerously close to flying off the track! As we went down the fifth drop and into the maelstrom, Cindy the hag let out a witchypoo cackle that had me doubling over as we raced through the station and back out into the woods for our reride! There were long periods throughout the night where the clouds obscured any light, and you *simply could not see* a thing in front of you out in those woods!

After one particularly wild ride I noticed Cindy getting off the coaster rubbing her cheek. Shawn McLaughlin was riding with her at the time and when I asked him what happened she blurted "He hurt me! He cold-cocked me!" Shawn is fast gaining a reputation as the bully among us. He looks fairly innocent, but get him on a coaster and he thinks he's in a boxing ring.

Chris Hartman was lucky enough to be on board for the final ride of the night. The riders were treated to a total lights out, station lights out reride to end the night. The cheers that rang out in the dark could be heard from the front of the park!

After the event ended and we left the park for our long drive back to Jeffersonville, Chris suddenly went "uh oh." The gas gauge read empty. The gasoline mart next to the park was closed. So we stopped at Santa's Lodge and Shawn ran in to get directions to the nearest gas station. As we headed down a long, dark and barren, 10 mile stretch of backroad, I wondered if that woman had sent us into a trap. We concocted a story where the woman quickly called her toothless, drunken, ax-murdering boyfriend and let him know that we were on our way.

"Git em, Donny Ray."

We ended up driving for miles before finally seeing an open gas station. We're saved! I was just happy to get out of the car and go to the bathroom without fearing the sound of a chain saw powering up. Unfortunately I had taken my shoes off in the car, and suddenly the enormity of what I was doing hit me. I was standing. In a public restroom. In a gas station. Barefoot.

I guess my "friends" must have thought I took a bit too long in the loo because after I came outside, the car was nowhere to be found. I turned around and looked at the attendant inside who just shook her head as if she'd seen this all before. I had also left my glasses in the car and couldn't see very well.... perhaps they had just moved the car in that spot next door. Is that them? I couldn't tell. I moved my urine soaked feet gingerly across the lot and into the grass next door. I bent over and squinted my eyes to see if that was their car when suddenly behind me I heard a horrifying sound of glass crunching! Oh God, it's Donny Ray!!!

I nearly jumped out of my skin. Of course it was my goofy friends who were now laughing their heads off at me. Alone, outside, at 1:30 in the morning, in the middle of Cornfield, Indiana, the last thing you want to hear is the sound of glass crunching behind you.

And with that, we headed back to our hotel, completely coastered for the day. Stark Raven Mad is a wonderful, amazing event. And Holiday World is an amazing park. I wish I could find something to offer in the way of constructive criticism, but there's really nothing to say. I wouldn't change a thing. Holiday World is perfect. I feel sorry for the people who held out for next year. If you find a park that's this much fun, you're wasting your time trying to look for something new and better. I'll be back each year whether they get a new coaster or not.

The Raven really is a night time terror. And Holiday World deserves tremendous praise for the commitment they've made to their coaster. The future bodes well for its next door neighbor.

Stark Raven Mad is why I love coastering.