1. You felt offended when watching "Mars Attacks" and "Men In Black"
2. You laugh hysterically at the primitive weaponry used in Star Wars and Star Trek movies
3. You refer to Stargate SG-1 as a "documentary"
4. Instead of eating your steak you mutilate it and leave it to be found by the busboy.
5. You can breathe underwater (without a snorkel or scuba suit)
6. You spend your evenings conducting experiments involving transplanting a horse's brain into a human head.
7. You get shot in the head during a robbery and mutter, "Ow, stupid mosquitoes!"
8. When you bleed, it's green.
9. Your wounds heal instantaneously.
10. You ate your neighbor's cat for lunch and then his dog for dessert.
11. Your car gets 8 million miles to the gallon, flies, uses rocket fuel instead of gasoline and has a speedometer that goes from "0 mph" to "Warp 2"
12. Your preschool child has just received his Bachelor's degree
13. Your first grader has just earned her Doctorate
14. You burp fire
15. You accidentally disintegrate your neighbor's house while skeet shooting with your ray gun
16. You read every book in the Public Library...in 3 minutes.
17. You know the name of every star in the Universe
18. Your television allows you to carry on a 2-way conversation with a large green head named Zaru
19. You have used a ray gun to hold up a Kwik Trip
20. Bonus: It wasn't a fake one from Toys R Us

Good going!