Rated PG for some innuendo.

I don’t own the characters; I’m just misusing them since I lack the originality of a slug. Although I did once meet a very original slug named Fred, but that’s a different story.

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Jubilee glanced at the clock. It still pointed to nine fifteen. She made a low grunting sound, trying to speed the hand on its way. She glanced down the table at the other X-Men, who were still talking.

Her eyes narrowed. Scott and Jean were getting up to leave; that was a good sign. If they left early, the other X-Men would leave.

Then she could leave.

She knew better than to leave early, and incur the wrath(and more importantly, the questions) of the X-Men. She scanned the room. Scott and Jean were slowly sidling for the exit. Rogue and Storm were sitting together, but not talking. She glanced at Logan and Remy, who were sitting together in a rare display of good spirits, talking about sports and cars.

~Men.~ She dismissed.

Jean glanced at her, a puzzled expression on her face, and Jubilee gave her a little smile. ~Men AND telepaths!~ She revised her mental list.

She glanced at the clock. A whole minute had gone by. She glanced at Claire, who was watching Remy. ~The nose knows,~ Jubilee giggled to herself, quite smug. If the telepaths and the enhanced sniffers of the house weren’t picking up on anything, then she was doing fine.

Scott and Jean said their goodbyes and managed to leave the dining room. Rogue began gathering the dishes. Jubilee eagerly handed hers away. ~The ordeal is over!~ She assured herself.

She glanced at the remaining residents, who seemed to have no plans of leaving the table anytime soon. She stood up slowly, and turned and began walking towards the garage.

“Where ya headed, sparkles?” Asked Claire, a smile playing around her mouth. Jubilee stumbled a step.

~She knows.~ She thought, a sinking sensation in the pit of her stomach. “I was just headed into town.”

“Headed into town for another...all-nighter?” Suggested Claire slyly. Logan and Remy both looked up with identical looks of shock.

“Heh! Yeah, I am.” Replied Jubilee. “Funny, it sounds different...when you say it.” ~That’s right, Lee, defuse her with you clever wit...naw, get the hell outta dodge!~ “Well, gotta go!”

“Hang on, darling!” Growled Logan, standing up. Her heart sank.

~Let’s see, self; headcount. Claire couldn’t care less, she just wants to see me sweat, Logan will try to stop me, Remy will try to stop me, Rogue doesn’t care, but she’s leaving, and Storm will definitely try to stop me. Self, we’re screwed.~ “Oh, Logan! Ya know Claire!” She rolled her eyes. “I’m just gonna go catch a film and hang out for a while! Ya know?”

“What film?” Asked Remy. Jubilee glared at Claire.

“Something violent.” She muttered. Claire grinned.

“Anybody in particular you’re going to see this film with?” Asked Claire, seemingly nonchalant.

~Be wary, Lee; she can smell ya. And if they get really suspicious, they’ll call a telepath down.~ “Maybe.” She replied. ~Oy! Reeeaal good, Lee! Self, take note; eviscerate Claire later, sweet talk Wolvie now, be nervous later.~ “Wolvie, I’m gonna be late.” She went with the wide eyed innocent look that had gotten her into many a mall in the past.

Remy stood up, moving closer. She almost sighed. At what point did men totally lose their minds with protectiveness? She’d saved both of these mens hides in the past. They should trust her!

Well, discounting the fact that she was lying through her teeth just now.

“Chere, why don` you be straight wit` us, eh?”

“Yes,” added Claire, “and explain why you came back smelling of some guy twice last week.

~Self, I’ve changed my mind. We will eviscerate Claire AFTER I set her on fire.~ “It’s not what it sounds like, guys. He’s just a friend.”

“Remy has heard dat one once or twice.” Muttered Gambit. Logan had a dark look in his eyes.

“Nonono! See, he’s, uh, my friends boyfriend. And, y’know, they’re joined at the hip, blah blah blah, wherever she goes, he goes. And, uh, she and I go to the movies a lot...” She trailed off hopefully. They seemed to be buying it.

Except Claire, of course.

“Then howcum after your allnighters I never smell her on you?” She asked thoughtfully.

Jubilee cursed silently. “She uses the same perfume as I do.” She said blandly.

Logan didn’t even blink, but Remy chuckled. “All right, chere. Game’s over. What’re you hiding?”

“I’m not hiding anything!” She protested. Logan snorted.

“C’mon, Jubes. You’ve been going out...staying out all night...and you come home smelling of some guy? You think we’re dumb or something?”

~Well, duh, Wolvie!~ “No, I don’t, but nothings going on!”

“Hey, if she can stay out all night for lovefests, why can’t I?” Protested Claire. Jubilee ground her teeth. “I am NOT going out for all night lovefests! Logan, I’m gonna be late!”

“No hurry, darlin.” He replied insincerely, a hurt look on his face. “Why don’t you call these...friend of yours...up to the Mansion.”

Jubilee rolled her eyes. “Well, duh. They don’t know I’m a mutant. Wouldn’t want them to trip to me or anything.”

“That’s right, last week you came home smelling of some kind of exotic...lubricant.” Claire mused, her eyes sparkling. She was very much enjoying this. Jubilee shot her a glare that quite clearly said, we are going to find out later exactly how much damage your healing factor can take. Claire smiled back at her.

Logan’s eyes were bugging out of his head. Remy was smiling, but at the same time his body language was screaming, ‘you are never stepping foot outside this house again.’

“Oh, come on, you’re just going to BELIEVE her?” Demanded Jubilee. “I did not!”

~‘Oh what a tangled web we weave, when we set out to deceive.’ Shut up, self!~

“Oh, really?” Asked Claire. “Take a good, long, whiff, Logan.”

Logan did so, which set Jubilee’s stomach fluttering. ~Ah, nuts. Game over, you lose.~

He shook his head. “I guess the kids tellin` the truth; I can’t smell a thing on her.”

~Gee, and I only showered....what? Eight times today?~

“Ha!” Replied Jubilee, turning and walking out.

“Well, dere goes da petite...off to her little lovefest...wit` some jerk and a whole lot of lubricant.” Muttered Gambit, watching her go. Claire hid a smile.

Jubilee caught a cab down into town, where she found the office easily. She walked in.

“Hey, Jubes!” Greeted Nick, grinning. “Ready for another night of boredom?”

“As always!” She replied, cracking her knuckles. “The gears outside?” He nodded. “Well, what are we waiting for?”

As they clamored into the van he glanced at her. “I still don’t understand why you’re doing this. I mean, you hardly—?”

“Ah, stuff it Nick, okay? It’s just what I gotta do.” She replied evasively. He nodded.

“Well, let’s see. Our first stop tonight is the high rise on fifth and main. We’re washing the windows on the south side today. After that we’re headed to the three story restaurant downtown, where we’re cleaning all the windows on the building. And for only ten bucks an hour.” He moaned. “This work is boring as hell!!”

Jubilee grinned. “Long and monotonous...bring it on!” She chuckled, getting out her squeegee.

Okay, now I bet you’re just plain confused...this got started from an internal argument I had about the X-Men.

Self, I wonder what the X-Men do for fun.

What would you do for fun if your life consisted of totally random chaos and destruction?

Something boring an monotonous, like washing windows.

Feedback is always appreciated, at hwrdbrnstr@hotmail.com

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