At first we fight it, with every breath, every step
It squeezes tighter, sucking out the good surrounding
We eventually lose ourselves to it, hating what is makes us
Bubbling under the surface like poison brewing
Like acid, licking its lips at the prospect of a feed
Biding it’s time till we are ready to erupt, give in to it fully
It gnaws at our self esteem, we keep our distance,
From others so they can’t see, what makes us me
We try to hide it even from ourselves, to no avail
We’ve lost control, our hold on our actions
Fights clenched, wanting to vent, to connect
Immediately after, guilt surges, self hate and pity return
As time elopes, our hopes of success dissolve
We realise it will always be there, however,
With careful steps, with blood, sweat and tears,
We can keep it under the thumb, for a while
Long enough to let people in, see the good first
Before they can realise how much evil lurks beneath
Sometimes they’ll run as far away as possible
Wash their hands of our friendship, of us
But others stay, they see the possibility
That good may also reside inside our souls
Together we discover the good and take charge,
Of the evil that waits to re-establish its grip
Learning that the evil can be suppressed
Working on counteracting it’s effects
Preparing to fight again, this time to win
