You explain to the others how in ancient China it was believe that cinnabar was an elixir that held magical properties. It could perform great feats from granting immortality to turning lead to gold, if used properly. Cinnabar was actually a mixture of several hart-to-find substances. The main ingredient was mercury.

“And, if we make cinnabar for them, they do anything we ask?” Noel said.

“Right!” you reply.

So, Noel, being a culinary engineer, starts to make the cinnabar. However, he inadvertently makes Cinnabuns. The Chinese find them very tasty, but not tasty enough to hand the country over to you.

(More to be written.)