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For
It is My
Life Now
As
I sit by
a window
of a
waterfront
restaurant
enjoying
the view
of the
sunset
on the
bay.
The
waves
rolling
endlessly
upon the
beach of
sand
washing
all the
footprints
of the
beach
travelers
away.
Truly
enjoying
this
moment
this
freedom
it
may
sound
strange,
but
it’s
new to
me.
For
more
years
than I
want to
count My
freedom,
my
choices
just
couldn’t
be.
Time
after
time
everything
that
went
wrong
was
my fault
or
something
I did.
Like
a scared
dog
during a
lighting
storm
in
the
bathroom
often
was
where I
hid.
Thinking
of all
the
times I
had to
be
taught
with
beatings
leaving
bruises
everywhere.
The pain
would in
time
fade
away.
But the
feeling
that
everything
was my
fault
scarred
deeply,
filling
me with
doubts I
still
have
today.
Friends
and even
family I
had to
set
aside
for
I was
told
"they
were
evil and
they
lied."
Follow
strict
orders
with new
ones
every
day
hoping
things
would
change
or that
I could
die.
All
those
thoughts
and
feelings
are
still
filling
spaces
in my
mind.
I am now
out of
that
situation,
living a
new life
with
help
from so
many who
are so
kind.
Finishing
my meal
I
decided
to take
a walk
along
the
beach,
barefoot
on the
white
sand.
Filled
with
hopes
and
dreams
of my
own
such
great
feeling
most
wouldn’t
understand.
As
I look
back my
footprints
along
with my
past
in
time are
slowly
washing
away.
"For
it is my
life
now"
living
the way
I want
day by
day.
©John
Tetor
&
Kathy
Robling
4/14/2001
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