Tell me how to feel with love,
And I'll grab it.
Hold me in your arms with love,
And I'll stay.
Teach me to kiss with love,
And I'll pucker.
Show me how to love,
And I'll fall.
Treat me bad,
And Ill vanish.
Am I abnormal,
'cause I punch holes in the walls?
Am I insane,
'cause I tend to fall down?
Am I a pyscho,
'cause I talk to myself?
Am I weird,
'cause I answer?
Am I mad,
'cause I cant calm down?
Am I demented,
'cause I hate the mall?
Am I of unsound mind,
'cause I'm a bitch?
Am I absured,
'cause I need to vent.
Am I bizarre,
'cause I'm always sick?
Am I nuts,
'cause i cant shut my mouth.
Am I wacky,
'cause I bath five times a day.
Am I goofy,
'cause i drive really fast?
Am I zany,
'cause I cant sleep?
Am I frivolous,
'cause i enjoy yelling?
Am I berserk,
'cause I'm blind?
Am I bonkers,
'cause I have blonde hair?
Am I kooky,
'cause I need time to think?
Am I crazy,
'cause I'm lazy?
Is surrounded by controversy
Is magic
Is the teller of your deepest secrets
Is beautiful
Is the point between friends and lovers
Is amazing
Is the only thing to live for
Is the only thing to die for
Is the romance
Is waiting for more
Is life
Is never to be forgotten
Is sparkling
Is the opidomy of doom
Is the beginning
Is the door to open
Is big and strong
Is right and wrong
I was never into romance...
I was never into dating...
I was never into giggling...
I was never into flowers...
I was never into caressing...
I was never into passion...
I was never into cuddling...
I was never into emotions...
I was never into depth...
I was never into opening up...
I was never into caring...
I was never into feelings...
I was never into trust...
I was never into sharing...
I was never into commitment...
...Until Tonight.
You make me understand the "big deal",
The night is to long,
My chair is hurting,
My chair is crying,
My chair is mad,
My chair is smelly,
My chair is broken,
My chair is perfect,
Two months ago,
I'm feeling sorry for myself
I wish they would let me die,
You still laugh, I hate you.
My infatuation started one day,
I watch my life go by from my bed.
I think my body is on a runaway train.
Once I saw a golden world of oppertunity.
I get my education from my home,
I swim a strait line and I can not digress,
When I'm with you, I feel so real.
I was in your arms last night,
And you held me so tight.
I'm falling so hard for you,
I have no idea what to do.
You say I make you weak,
But in your presence, I can't speak.
You are so sweet and kind.
Thoughts of you never leave my mind.
Happiness like this I've never seen before,
And every passing day, I see more.
I could stare into your eyes forever,
I could do anything as long as were together.
Oh, the things you have shown,
My dreams would not condone.
The dreams I never knew I had,
The dreams I always thought were bad.
You have shown me the light,
And you have cured my fright.
You have won were others have lost,
Yet you cared not of the cost.
Lucky for us, it was free.
You have suceeded in taming me!You almost stopped my heart
Today my heart almost stopped.
You looked at me and my jaw dropped.
I felt a tear, I'm not ashamed to admit,
When I saw that look and I thought youd say it.
I thought we were going to end,
I thought I'd wind up just your friend.
I am glad that that wasnt the case,
But you scared me masively with that face.
I thank the planets and stars we are together,
I thank them again, you've tried to make it better.
I'd love to conversate with you more,
Even if its done behind a closed door.
You already know, my attractions run deep,
And that I do think about you in my sleep.
I will try to control my lust around you,
Only if you do the samething to.
I want you for your mind,
I want you because you are kind.
I want to hold deep conversations with you,
But of coures, thats not allI want to do.
I want to be your friend,
But I dont want this to end!
After our honest talk today,
I have but one thing to say,
Once I can hold you through the night,
Everything will be all right.
The Night is to Long
For you to be away.
The night is to long,
I cant wait till the break of day.
The night is to long,
To be without your touch.
The night is to long,
I miss you so much.
The night is to long,
I cant stop thinking of you.
The night is to long,
I dont know what to do.
The night is to long,
My thoughts are so clear,
The night is so long,
And I need you here!
COMPREHENSION
You share my animosity,
Together we fret for posterity.
I fear for the world, and make myself ill.
Your by my side when I swallow the pill.
Your eyes penetrate my soul,
And your glances are habitual.
You see into my pain,
And yet you still remaine,
To gather the trauma that I must bare,
You stay by my side, you actually care.
For this I cannot thank you enough,
You read my signals, you call my bluff.
My sheilds and barriers you're all through pealing,
Because you say exactly what you are feeling.
You've quickly scaled my emotional wall,
I cannot fathom how, it was so tall.
The years of physical anguish you percieve,
But more importantly, you believe.
What I go through, you see.
And thank you for not pittying me.
You compel me to try to get well,
Even though I am going through Hell.
You are like the suns rays,
Warm even on your bad days.
i'm so glad you see through my mask,
But there is one question that i must ask,
Can you think of a possible way,
I can repay you for what you do everyday?
Slipcover
My chair is hiding,
Under a slipcover.
It wont show you,
Its ugly pattern.
Under a slipcover,
It wont tell you,
It hurts when you sit.
Under a slipcover.
It wont let you,
See its stains.
Under a slipcover.
It wont allow you,
To calm it down.
Under a slipcover.
It wont make you,
Try to clean it.
Under a slipcover.
It wont cause you,
To try to fix it.
Over a slipcover.
It wont permit you,
To see under it.One day when i thought i was better
Two months ago,
If you read my internal map,
All you would see,
Was a cluster of lines.
Through the tangled masses,
You would encounter one line.
One strain going toward hope.
The rest all led to suiside.
If you hadnt come to me
All you would see
Was me adding myself to a statistic.
Through my tragic demise,
You would see,
A girl fed up with anguish, who took the route,
The route through her wrists.How Does One Achieve Normalcy?
People say my pain is tragic,
They wish there was some kind of magic,
But there is nothing tha can be done,
I'm not even aloud to have fun.
All I do is lay in my bed,
Sometimes I wish I were dead.
At least then I would be pain free.
And oh how wonderful that would be.
I need to get out of my house.
Ill go out the window, quite like a mouse.
Ill go to the water, just to sit.
Ill only stay there for a little bit,
before, "who am I kidding" Ill start to think,
"The only water Ill see comes from my sink."
One more depressing thing for my list,
If i did die, would I be missed?
Next time I go for a hospital visit,
I could make sure my allergies are not ligit.
Only doctors and a few believe in my pain.
Everyone else just thinks Im insane.
They think I skip school for giggles and fun,
They dont know I cant get my homework done.
I cannot function normally,
Everything is done so painfully.
I hate this so fucking much,
My friends and I are losing touch.
There is nothing I can do,
All I want is to be normal to.
What do you think?
I've stopped caring,
Whether I live or die,
I hate everything.
Im taking prisoners.
I have no shame.
Ive been through to much.
I care not who I hurt,
Do you think I give a fuck?
You feel sorry to.
They all do.
Everyone is sorry
No one does a thing
I am angry at the world
For doing this to me.
Do you think I deserve this?
I pray daily for my demise.
Then I question my faith.
What higher power would do this
Im not getting stronger
I dont care about faith anymore
Its just one more thing to cause me pain
Does it cause you pain?
I dont laugh, your normal.
You unwittingly rub it in my face.
You unknowingly spit on me
You accidently piss on me
you cant piss out my flames
the flames of hatred
Do you hate me?Shine
All it took was an inteligent conversation.
In the beginning you allured me.
You made me feel bright and brilliant.
You gave me an intellectual face lift.
Every spoken word between us has been memorable.
You keep my brain on its toes,
By constantly stimulating my mind.
My infationation grows stronger everyday.
You've managed to compel me.
Im obligated to love you.
I cant deny the way you make me feel.
Your the first man to make me your princess.
You force me to feel beautiful.
When our eyes meet, its like a million compliments.
I know I mean everthing to you,
This makes me shine, like the North star.
I am YOUR star, Ill always shine for you
I have an aura that follows me around.
It protects me from everything, it shelters me.
Its like a force field, built with your love.
It is visable to the outside word.
They see me as radient and more attractive.
I walk with a spring in my step.
I glow because of you.
You are my beauty secret.
I will only shine for you.
Sliding Away
Today I realized it's not just in my head.
My friends, my life, my acomplishments run down the drain.
From now on it will rain to block my vision.
It washes away what may have been a lifes ambition.
Now I realize Im not leaving this gray community.
My life has slipped from my hand.
I slide and fall, I cant take a stand.
My future has been desided for me.
In a soggy cardboard box is where I'll be.
My house is were I am free to roam.
I slither into school once a week.
To be like everyone else is all I seek.
When Im there I cant look them in the eye,
I cant stand to let them see me cry.
If I keep doing what I am, I will drown.
Especially, since I walk with my head down.
Its even been said that I fake my illness.
I can not fix what is going on.
Let me tell you, Im not having fun.
If I was exagerating it, even a little,
How do I wind up in the hospital?
No one see's me when I'm in my bed.
They all think it's just in my head.Fudgka
