Rating: R for some sexual stuff and language
Original Date of Completion: November 2002
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It's moments like these that make being in love so much better. To have someone to simply cuddle with at the end of the night, someone to unwind with after a rough day, it may very well be the greatest feeling in the world. It's certainly something I've come to crave since I've been with Curtis. There's nothing better to me than crawling into bed with him at night and wrapping my arms around him, and just talking until we both fall asleep. That's really how we got to know each other to begin with. Though back then it was huddling together out of fear of Bobby. Now it's just cuddling for the sake of contact.
"James," He whispered after a brief silence.
"Hmm?" I asked, softly stroking his hair.
"How come you never talk about Kirk?"
Ah, now that was a question I'd done my best to avoid my entire relationship with Curtis. Even in our early relationship, when Kirk's sole purpose in life was to torment Curtis and I, I rarely spoke of him. It was easier that way back then. I found that I hated Kirk less the less I thought about him, especially the way he was during our "relationship." Now it was really a lot of the same stuff that kept me tight lipped. Kirk was one of my better friends now, as crazy as that is with our history. And having him as a friend now, as the person he's become, it makes me not want to remember the person he was. But I suppose I couldn't go forever without remembering, as much as I may've wanted to. I planned to be with Curtis for the rest of my life, I knew I'd have to give him details eventually. So I guess now is as good a time as any, it'll save him the trauma in later years.
"I just don't like to," I replied truthfully. "It's a lot easier to be his friend that way,"
"Well, will you tell me about it? There is a lot I don't know,"
"I sighed and hugged him to me, planting a soft kiss atop his head. "What do you want to know?"
"Did...did you really love him?" He spoke quietly into my chest, his voice slightly muffled.
Somehow I knew that would be the first question. Thankfully however, it was the easiest to answer. I know that deep down Curtis already knew the answer, there's probably not a person in this university that doesn't. But Curtis had always been the type to want to hear it for himself before he believed anything. At least that's what I hoped it was about, and not about orgy induced issues.
"I did," I replied somberly. "Very much,"
"Do you think he really loved you?"
I'd asked myself that question a lot, especially when things with Kirk first ended. There was a time when I thought no, that he never really did love me. But I knew better now. In hindsight I could see it as plain as day. He did really love me. Hell, he takes it upon himself to tell me that every time he gets even a little drunk and is in a 20-mile radius of me now. He really loved me, but it scared him senseless. "Guys like me don't fall in love." That was the motto for that entire hockey team. And as fate would have it, it happened to every one of them. And they all answered the same way: "I can't love "I think he did. But he was scared of it,"
Curtis goes silent, and I swear I can almost hear the wheels turning in his head, thinking up his next question. I giggle quietly despite myself at the image, but he paid no attention, which is good. His knee is in a very deadly position right now. The silence stayed over us for about a minute before the noise of sheets ruffling chased it away. I felt him wiggle against me, sliding further up my body and draping his leg across my waist (Gotta love having a flexible goalie for a boyfriend.) I kissed him again atop the head, garnering a contented sigh for my actions. He placed a soft kiss on my chest, then slipped his hands up my t-shirt, resting his cold fingers on my stomach.
"So what happened the last time you broke up?" He asked, tracing around my bellybutton.
"I sighed and ran my fingers softly through his hair, spiking it without hold. I'd asked myself that question a lot. And every time I came up blank. Things had been different that last time with Kirk. He'd been different. That was the first time he'd ever actually admitted to someone that he loved me, at least to the best of my knowledge. Before recently, that was the sweetest and nicest I'd ever seen Kirk be. He was like the perfect boyfriend for that brief span. Every night I'd come home and there'd be fresh flowers on my desk, or candy, or something incredibly sweet like that that he'd never done before. He even used to visit me at work. I remember the first time he'd done it I freaked out because I thought he was coming to berate me in public, like he usually did. But instead he'd said "I just couldn't go 8 hours without a kiss." That night I thought for sure that this time it was real, and Kirk and I would be together forever. But then he changed, and I never knew why. But even as much as I wanted it that time, I didn't get upset. I'm actually glad it all happened now. Because now I have Curtis, and I know that this is it.
"That's the one answer I don't have for you, baby,' I sighed, continuing to play with his hair. 'If you ask him, the last time he was really ready to love me. But something, or someone changed his mind. He'll never say what, just that "It's stupid." I didn't really get upset the last time. I tried not to let him get to me at all. That backfired though. He became more evil, because he had to work harder to get my attention that time. The stuff he did to me that time was ten times worse than anything he'd done before..." I trail off.
Memories I didn't care to relive right now would start pouring out if I didn't stop myself. And really I didn't have to keep going from there. With the exception of a few minor things, Curtis already knew what happened next. Kirk does something evil, I kick his ass. Kirk does something evil, I kick his ass. It's a very simple pattern to remember, but one that I can't be more grateful for it being over. I enjoy having Kirk's evil genius on my side, as opposed to against me. It makes sleeping at night a little bit easier. Not to mention the revenge help that can come from Kirk and his "crew". Ask Dean McMahon how effective that can be.
"I'm sorry that happened to you baby," He murmured, sliding up and planting a soft peck on my lips.
I smiled at him, reaching up and pushing a piece of hair from his forehead. "I'm not. It all happened for a reason," I stated, shrugging my shoulders.
"Nothing like that ever happened to me," He said softly, rolling off of me and landing on his pillow.
"That's good, baby. I wouldn't want you to have to go through anything like that," I replied, turning on my side to face him.
"Nothing ever happened to me," He spoke quietly, dropping his eyes from mine.
I moved closer and slipped my hand under his head, rubbing his cheek with my thumb. "What are you talking about?" I whispered, lifting his eyes back to mine.
He took a deep breath and sighed. Even through the darkness I could see the nervousness in his magnificent blue eyes. There were few times now days that I saw the nervousness, so I knew that when I did it was for something important. Back in the day I could never be quite sure if he was going to tell me he was dying, or that he broke his pencil lead. Now (thankfully) he only got nervous over important things. Which as much as it worried me when it happened, I was still thankful for.
"I don't know how to tell you this, it's gonna shock you," He whispered, picking lint off of the black and red flannel pants he wore.
I smiled and brushed the hair from his forehead once more. I leaned forward and placed a small peck to his forehead, earning me a giggle for my troubles.
"Just tell me, Curtis. It would take a lot to shock me after all this time," I comforted, grazing my hand down his arm.
"I say nothing ever happened to me, because it didn't. Not before you anyway," He stopped and took a deep breath, slowly raising his eyes to mine. "I was a virgin, James. You were my first,"
If I were standing, at this point I'd be on the floor. I said it would take a lot to shock me, and that definitely fit into the "A lot" category. I almost couldn't believe my ears. We'd never really spoken of it, so I guess it shouldn't shock me too much, it's not like he'd told me he wasn't and then said he was. This was just so huge to hear after being together for so long. I had already felt like the luckiest guy in the world to be with him that night. And now...wow. I'd been the one that he decided to share that with, after 20 years. He'd trusted me enough to give himself to me, for the first time. Hearing this made what I considered the most spectacular night of my life even better. This was almost unbelievable. But really, it did make things a bit clearer now.
He'd been so nervous that night. Nervous enough that I have a scar on my right shoulder from where his nails dug me. But at that time I thought it was just because it was our first time; I'd been pretty nervous myself. We'd waited quite a while before we were both ready for it. And I was just so nervous that I was going to screw it up, and hurt him because I'd been basically trained to doing things Kirk's way. But then he'd kissed me, and stared up into my eyes and said "I love you. And I trust you." That was really all I needed to hear. Making love to Curtis for the first time was the kind of thing I'd only dreamed about. It was the single greatest moment of my life. I always hoped that it was for him too. And now after hearing that it was his first time, I hoped that even more...
"You're not saying anything," His quiet voice snaps me from my thoughts.
I shake my head, slipping my arm around his back. I pull him to me and lightly greet his lips with mine. It's just a soft, simple kiss, but it seems right for this moment. When we break apart, smile at him and compulsively push the hair from his forehead. He smiles in return, sighing when I kiss the spot I'd cleared.
"I love you so much, Curtis," I whispered, rubbing his neck.
"I'm sorry I never told you," He replied quietly, a nervous smile on his lips. "I just..."
Even in the darkness I see his cheeks flush a bright pink. His eyes drop from mine again and focus somewhere on my t-shirt. Normally I'd get annoyed and force him to look at me, but I wasn't going to this time. I could tell how nervous he was about telling me this. If not looking at me made it easier for him, then that's the way it was. It would kind of suck to be deprived of those eyes for a while, but I could deal.
"You what?" I asked softly.
"I just..." His eyes lift back to mine. "I just wanted you to think I was cool," He mumbled, picking at my t-shirt.
This is one of those times where I'm glad I can't melt from the sweetness he exudes. Despite what I may want, I feel tears pricking at my eyes. Sometimes he really is just too wonderful for words. He wanted me to think he was cool. He didn't tell me he was a virgin because he wanted me to think he was cool. Man, he is just too...Precious is the word I want here, but I can't in good judgement use it. Damn you, Shanahan! So I guess I can just say he is just too...Curtis. He is the single most beautiful, wonderful, totally awesome creature on this Earth, and he's all mine. I reach forward and hug him tightly to my chest. My hands slip up his back, and out of instinct my mouth finds his neck.
"You are just too perfect," I murmured, kissing his neck. "I," Another kiss. "Love," Another kiss. "You," Yet another. "So much," I finally finish, capping it off with a nip at his neck.
He sighs happily and slips his hands up the back of my shirt. He pushes it up softly, bringing goosebumps to my skin as his fingers travel over it lightly. As they meet my shoulders, thoughts of the scar hit me, and I push him softly away. He rolls onto his back, staring up at me in bewilderment as I sit up on the bed. A grin comes to his face as I start to lift my shirt up, which I answer with sticking my tongue out. When my shirt is off, I reach over and turn the lamp on, blinding us briefly with the sudden light. When our eyes adjust, I turn on the bed so my back is facing him.
"Look at my shoulder," I told him, tapping myself on the right.
I hear sheets rustle, and quickly feel his hands on me. His fingers trace softly over the scar, which I find strangely arousing. I adjust myself through my pajama bottoms, garnering a soft snicker from Curtis. I sigh when he pulls his fingers away, leaving me suddenly cold. But thankfully the cold doesn't last long as he slips his arms around my waist, pressing his cotton clad torso against my back. I gasp as his breath hits my ear, and crane my neck around to kiss him.
"What is that?" He breathed, pressing his fingers to the scar.
"That is from you," I replied softly, reaching back and slipping a hand into his hair.
How?" He asked, pulling away from me, but leaving his fingers on the scar.
"That first night we were together," I explain, shivering under his touch. "When I..." I stop as I feel my own cheeks flushing. Curtis giggled and kissed me on the cheek.
"Fucked me?" He asked, amusement evident in his voice.
I shake my head, slapping myself on the forehead and staring down at the floor. "So vulgar, hon. I was trying to be sweet," I chuckled.
He giggled again and pulled me backward. I landed in his lap, and was immediately greeted with his lips. This kiss was drowned in passion, our lips mashing urgently together, tongues caressing eagerly. When we pulled apart, I stared at up at him with a smile.
"Where was I?" I asked, snaking my hand up his t-shirt.
"You were talking about fucking me," He giggled, his eyes flecked with amusement.
I rolled my eyes, then covered them with my hand, shaking my head at him again. "You so killed the moment," I groaned. "I'm not telling you the story now,"
I tried to sit up, but found myself pulled immediately back down. I tried to protest, but his lips met mine again, stopping any words from forming. His hand slid slowly up my chest, sending chills down my spine. I moaned into the kiss as his hand found my nipple, and his lips parted in a smile. I took that opportunity to slip my tongue slowly into his mouth, gasping slightly as he nibbled at it gently. I can't really say how much longer this kiss lasted, I float off into my own little world every time I kiss him. But when we broke apart my lips throbbed, and I found myself short of breath. Curtis started down at me with a smile, and lightly dragged his finger across my lips.
"I'm sorry, baby. Tell me the story?" He pleaded, slipping his finger past my lips.
I sucked at the digit briefly, coaxing a soft whimper from Curtis. Achieving that, my desired reaction, I chomped my teeth down on his finger. He yanked it from my mouth with a shriek, then glared down at me. I stuck my tongue out at him, and slowly his glare faded into a smile.
"I'm not telling you the story, you'll just make a vulgar comment again and ruin the moment," I teased, sitting up on the bed and sliding back to the headboard.
"Aw, come on," He pouted, crawling over to me. He straddled me at the knees and jutted out his bottom lip. "I told you something, now you have to tell me something,"
"Who wrote that rule?"
"Me, as your boss," He giggled, raising his eyebrows.
"I snorted a laugh, staring at him defiantly. "You're MY boss? In what world?"
He slid further up my legs, coming to a stop at my groin. He wriggled in my lap, and despite my better judgement I moaned softly. He snickered, leaning forward and brushing his lips against mine, pulling away before any kissing could begin. I whimpered poutingly as he slipped his arms around my neck.
"Just because you top doesn't make you the boss," He breathed into my ear, making me shiver as his tongue connected with the lobe.
"Hey, I bottom," I protested, nipping at his neck.
"What, once?" He teased, biting down on my earlobe.
"I"ve done it more than that," I moaned as he sucked at the skin he'd just bit.
"Okay, twice,"
"You," I growled, wrapping my arms around him. "Are not cute,"
I pushed him back on the bed, moving myself so I knelt between his legs. His legs wrapped around me, squeezing a moan from me as he pulled me closer. I slipped my hands under his shirt and quickly pushed it over his head, dropping it to the floor at the foot of the bed. Almost instantly my mouth found his chest, placing soft kisses down the silky skin. I purposely ignored his nipples, nipping a trail down his torso to his bellybutton. Each time my teeth made contact, he growled sexily and clenched his hands in the sheet. I snickered in satisfaction as I swept my tongue around his bellybutton. He whimpered my name and pushed at my shoulders, urging me to go lower. I was never one to disappoint, so I brought my hands to his waist and quickly untied the flannel pants he was wearing. I slipped my hand slowly past the waistband, expecting to come in contact with the silk boxers I'd laid out for him this morning. But instead my fingers connected with skin, and I couldn't help but giggle. His eyes opened and he stared at me with a raised eyebrow.
"Do you not believe in underwear anymore?" I giggled, shaking my head at him. "I don't think you’ve worn any in like six months,"
He giggled and rolled his eyes. "You're complaining? I'm doing you a favor. Easier access to Little Cujo down there," He winked, glancing down at the tent in his pajamas.
"Little Cujo?" I asked, sliding up to kiss him. "Do you really want to name it after a rabid dog?"
"Well," He started, stopping as we kissed. "He is known to produce white..."
"Don't even say it," I groaned, silencing him with a finger on the lips. "I'm starting to think taking your virginity was a bad thing, look what I've turned you into," I shook my head.
He giggled and pulled me down on top of him. I tried to pull away, but his hands locked in my hair and forced me to stay put. I fought weakly as he pushed his lips onto mine. His tongue traced along the seam of my lips, poking for entry which I denied. He growled, tugging lightly at my hair, and dragging his nails slowly down my scarred shoulder. I sighed at the feeling, collapsing against him with a shiver.
"I think you like what you've turned me into," He giggled, continuing to trace along the scar.
"Well," I whispered, sucking gently at his neck. "I certainly liked the work getting there,"
"Not as much as I did, especially the first time. That was the best night of my life," He said happily, hugging me to him.
"Mine too, baby," I agreed, still hugging onto him. "I just wish that I'd had something to give you that night, like you gave me," I told him, leaning up on my hand and smiling down at him.
"You did," He said with a grin. "Because what I gave you said that I'm yours. And that scar," He stopped and dragged his fingers down it gently. "That scar says that you're mine,"
END
© 2002 Triple X
