In the Closet

Rating: NC-17, PWP

Original Date of Completion: September 2002

Disclaimer: I own them all, and you can't have them. This is completely fake, and conjured in the confines of my demented little mind. Please don't sue me.

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Sean's POV

I don't know why I do these things. I've just snuck into the janitor's closet with Jesse, knowing full well what's going to happen. I shouldn't keep doing these things. I'm not ga....I'm not that way. But these things keep happening. With Boyd, or with Max, or that one time with Kirk that started it all. Well, started it all here, anyway. Now I'm in a closet with Jesse, about do to the same thing. Maybe I really am ga....no, I'm not, I know that. I can’t be, I'm normal.

But I can't stop these things from happening. And right now, I can't bite back a moan as Jesse's hands unfasten my belt, and slowly unbuckle my jeans. My body trembles as his hand grazes slowly up my crotch. My dick throbs in response, and in the pale light, I see Jesse grin. I close my eyes, and my hands find his hair as he pushes pants and boxers from my hips. His breath tickled my swollen flesh, and my hands clenched in his hair. Any thoughts I had about doing this were slowly fading away. And the second I slipped into Jesse's mouth, they were gone.

His tongue worked wonders on me, tantalizing every inch of flesh in its contact. I ran my fingers through his silky hair, guiding him slowly in his actions. Gone were any thoughts of how I should stop doing this. I could only concentrate on his warm mouth wrapped tightly around my shaft, giving me pleasure only few could. I whimpered softly as he began bobbing his head, excruciatingly slow, his motions a blissful torture. His hands drifted to my balls, and he massaged them lightly between his fingertips. Pleasure shot down my spine, and my fingers tightened in his hair. His squeezing of my balls became harder, a slight pain only serving to increase my pleasure. I knew at this rate I wouldn't last much longer. And judging by past experiences, if I came first, it wouldn't be very enjoyable for him. I tugged him lightly from my cock, but he didn't budge. I snorted a laugh and let my hands slip down to his shoulders.

"Let me do you," I whispered, squeezing his shoulders.

He pulled slowly from my cock, and stared up at me with lustful brown eyes. I grinned at him, and dropped to my knees. My hands slipped behind his head, and I drove my tongue into his mouth. We kissed heatedly, tongues clashing sloppily. His hand snaked its way up my neck and tightened in my curls. The passion exuded between us wracked my body. When the kiss broke, I stared at him out of breath, never wanting another person more in my life. He grinned sexily at me, and hopped to his feet.

He quickly unbuckled his jeans, and I yanked them from his hips. Boxers were nowhere to be found, and I looked up at him with a grin. I grasped his cock in my hand and jerked it quickly. A droplet of pre-cum oozed from the slit, moistening my thumb as I rubbed the digit over his head. Jesse moaned lightly, and hissed my name under his breath. I chuckled, then slowly brought my lips to his cock. I eased them gently over the head, taking each inch of him slowly into my mouth.

His body trembled, and his hands returned to my hair. He ran his fingers softly through my hair, encouraging me in my actions. I bobbed slowly on his cock, coaxing quiet moans from him. My hands traveled to his ass, and I dragged a finger slowly down the crack. He shivered, and thrust into my mouth, almost making me gag. But I held on, and pressed a finger at his opening. He moaned in encouragement, and I cautiously slipped it inside of him.

He started thrusting softly into my mouth as I worked a second finger in. I let him slip from my mouth until just the head remained, and swirled my tongue around it. His moans increased in volume, making me snicker in satisfaction. I could feel his balls rising against my chin, and knew he was only moments away from release. As I slipped a third finger into him, he uttered a garbled moan, and reached release. I stayed on him until I felt the last jolt of cum hit my throat. Then I let him slip from my mouth, and stared up at him with a grin.

"My turn," I stated, reaching down and jerking my cock.

Jesse looked down at me with a grin and motioned me toward him with a finger. I got to my feet, sliding up his body in the process. Our lips met, and his hand traveled down to my cock. He jerked it slowly, making me moan into his mouth. I felt his lips part in a smile, and he pulled them away from me. He spat into his hand, and quickly brought it to my cock. I moaned quietly as he worked his saliva onto my dick, mixing it with my pre-cum. When I was properly lubed, he climbed onto the table behind him.

I wrapped my arms around him and picked him up from the table. Our lips met again, and I swung around, placing his back against the table. I lowered him slowly onto my cock, stretching out a moan the whole time. When I was fully sheathed, I stopped to give him time to adjust. I nibbled at his collarbone as he brushed his fingers through my hair. When I felt him push back against me, I started thrusting slowly into him. The feelings shooting through my body were incredible. With Boyd, and with Max, I was on Jesse's end of things, I'd forgotten how awesome it felt in the reverse. His muscles squeezed tightly around my shaft as I thrust, making me scream in pleasure. The sound of our slapping skin, and fevered moans filled the air, and the thought of being caught briefly crossed my mind. But as Jesse bit down on my neck, all thoughts were once again on the incredibleness of being inside him. I could feel my orgasm growing closer, and I quickened my rhythm. He screamed my name, and buried his face in my neck. I felt him explode between us, and the contraction of his muscles pushed me over the edge. I thrust twice more into him, and lost it inside him.

I pulled myself from Jesse and dropped him to his feet. The second I pulled away from him, the thoughts returned to me. I collapsed against the wall and slid down to the floor. I buried my hands in my hair and tugged at it lightly. The guilt that I always got was back. This time though, it was different. I didn’t know how different, until Jesse spoke.

"Isn't this where you freak out and call me a fag?" He asked, standing up and pulling his pants up.

My body shook at his words. That's what usually happened, but I couldn't feel that this time. I didn't feel disgusted with myself like usual. I felt hurt, sad...scared. What the hell was I scared about? I should be screaming at him, but looking at him, all I wanted to do was cry. Cry. I wanted to cry. What the hell is wrong with me? I shouldn't be feeling like this. I shook my head furiously, trying to shake those feelings from my head.

"I...I..."

I was trying hard, but I couldn't shove those feelings down. I could feel my chin quiver, and knew what was coming. I tried to turn away before it happened, but Jesse grabbed my shoulder. The second he touched me, the dam burst. I fell against him and submitted weakly to the sobs. He wrapped his arms around me and softly rubbed my back. He rocked my gently, and I clung tightly to his shirt. I wanted to push him away, but I couldn't do it. I was hurting. I knew where the pain was coming from, and it was from something I've tried to deny for seven years. Tonight, it finally bubbled over, and in front of a person I barely knew from a stranger on the street. I was so fucked up.

I pushed Jesse away meekly, and leaned against the wall. He stared at me sadly and put his arm on my shoulder.

"Are you okay, Sean?" He asked softly, staring me straight in the eye.

The look of concern in his eyes was overwhelming. I turned my head away from him and stared at door. I didn’t want to have this conversation with anyone, especially not someone I barely knew. But I knew if I tried to get up and run away, he'd most likely catch me before I got to the door. I could try to lie and say nothing was wrong, but I knew that would be pointless. I'd just had a breakdown in front of the guy, and he was cool enough to not freak out, and try to comfort me. I didn't work, I was just as upset now as I was the second it happened, but it's the thought that counts. I sniffled, and wiped at my eyes.

"I'm not okay," I whispered, resting my head on my knees. I took a deep breath and prepared to speak words I never wanted to. "I'm.....gay,"

Jesse sighed and rubbed his hand on my back. "Sean...that's not the end of the world," He spoke softly, inching up next to me and slipping his arm across my shoulders.

I sniffled and turned my head toward him. "Easy for you to say, you've probably always known and been cool with it,"

He snorted a laugh and squeezed my shoulders. "I really wish it had been that easy. After I first realized, I wouldn't let anyone touch me for months. Anytime any guy would even like tap me on the shoulder I'd freak out,"

I don't know what he was trying to do with this speech, but it wasn't making me feel better. So far he was describing everything I've done up until today. If he tells me that he had a breakdown like this, I'm going to start thinking he's patronizing me, and get really angry.

"But you know how I got over it?" He asked.

"No, how?" I asked, sniffling.

"The guys," He replied, patting my arm. "I saw guys like Stevie and Bren, and Kirk, and Homer, and I realized that it was okay to be this way. I mean, it was still hard, but they made it a lot easier to accept. Sure, they were gay, but they were still normal. Without them, I don't think I could've ever handled coming out of the closet. Hell, without them, I don't think I could've handled being in the closet,"

I turned to him, and he flashed a goofy smile. I giggled, and leaned into him. That second speech had succeeded in making me feel better. If seeing the guys made him feel okay with it, maybe that was something I'd have to do. As it stood now, I never paid attention to them, so I would have to think less about the possibility for me to be....that way. I couldn't even say the word, this was going to take a lot of getting used to. But if what Jesse said was true, I should turn out okay. Right now, I didn't really want to think about it. I was feeling better about everything, and I liked it that way. It was going to be hard, but when it all came down to it, maybe it wouldn't be so bad being in the closet. At least, until I found a reason to come out of it.....

The End

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