Rating: PG-13ish
Original Date of Completion: August 2002
Disclaimer: They are all mine, and you can't have them. Please don't sue me.
**************
Julie's POV
That rat bastard. That dirty, rotten, sorry son-of-a-bitch. He scared me senseless without even knowing he did it. I was standing in the pantry and heard him spill his entire plot to Dominik as he stormed out of the yard. His words shook me to the core. To some, it could be taken as an idle threat, nothing to be scared about. But it scared me coming from him. Because if anyone had the power to make it true, it was him.
I waited until I heard a car door slam, then dashed back outside. I tried to not look worried when I approached them, but his words were too powerful in my thoughts. Kris looked enraged as he walked up toward the house. But the second our eyes locked, it drained away. I just stared at him, then at Kirk, who looked shocked more than anything, and then told them all I could think of.
"Guys, we need to talk," I nodded my head as I spoke. "In private,"
They nodded and walked into the house. I turned to follow them, but I heard someone yell my voice from behind. I turned around and saw Niklas walking up to me with a confused smile on his face. Geez, he is lip bitingly cute. I smiled at him as best I could, but I'm sure it came out looking forced and gloomy. He smiled weakly and tilted his head to the side.
"Is something the matter?" He asked sweetly.
"Just a bit of a family problem," I replied, truthfully lying. "But it's one we kind of have to take care of now," I explained, taking a step backward into the house. I stopped and leaned against the door frame.
"Look, Julie. I don't know if you, uh, want me to or anything. But could I maybe, call you?"
The nervousness he exuded while he spoke succeeded where anything else would've failed, it made me smile. I glanced past him at Stacia, who was watching with vested interest I'm sure. I'd probably kill her if the guy she'd presented to me wasn't as cute as Niklas is. I glared at her then turned my eyes back to Niklas. I stepped back outside and stood in front of him. I smiled at him, then kissed him softly on the cheek. I pulled back, and saw a bright smile come to his face. I stepped back into the house and leaned against the door frame once again.
"I'd love that. I'll see you later,"
I stepped away from the door and walked into the living room. When I saw Kirk and Kris, my smile disappeared and that feeling of worry returned. Kris was pacing nervously around the room, and Kirk just watched him, a sad smile on his face. I walked up next to them and leaned against the wall. Kris stopped pacing and stared into my eyes. I smiled weakly and mouthed the words "sit down." He shook his head no, and I sighed.
"Kris, please," I told him more than asked. He breathed a frustrated sigh then took a seat next to Kirk. "I'm not sure how to say this, so I'm just going to say it." I explained, pausing to take a breath. "Sergei is trying to have Kris traded,"
The pure shock in their eyes caused me to look away. Speaking those words made my stomach churn. He could do it, that's what made this so bad. He could disrupt our whole lives with just one phone call, all because he has a problem with homosexuality. He could take Kris away from me, from Kirk...from the kids. I couldn't make it without him, there was no way. I didn't even want to think about the kids, it's hard enough for them now with him gone as much as he is. And Kirk. I think if he were to lose Kris now, after everything that's happened, it would kill him. And that's exactly what Sergei wants. I don't think he's even taken into accord how much this would effect other people. And that’s what scares me so much.
I looked back at them an saw two completely different reactions. The rage continued to blaze in Kris' eyes. He stared forward, looking right past me. His mouth twitched in anger, the way it usually does. If it were possible, I think his eyes could burn a hole right through the wall. As for Kirk, his reaction echoed mine. He sat there, unmoving, just staring at the floor. He was just as shocked and scared as I'd been when I'd heard it from the lips of the culprit himself.
"What did he say?" Kris asked quietly, not taking his eyes from the wall.
"He stopped and talked to Dominik on the way out. And he said 'I'd enjoy the happy couple while you can, because Kris will be in Atlanta by October'."
"Son-of-a-bitch," Kirk muttered under his breath.
Kris snorted a laugh and kept his eyes locked on the wall. "At least it's not Anaheim," He said lamely.
Kirk's head sprang up instantly and he glared at Kris. That's exactly how I was feeling. I couldn't believe he was joking about all of this. Maybe I'm too serious, but this didnt' seem to be the time for jokes. This was a pretty gosh darned important situation here. This could effect all of our lives greatly, not to mention the lives of two perfectly innocent children. I shook my head at him and pulled a chair out from the table. I sat down and rested my head in my hands.
"How can you say that?" Kirk asked, shaking his head.
"What? I don't want to be a Mighty Duck. I was a Jet, that's bad enough," He joked again. I sighed frustratedly and rolled my eyes. Kirk kept his eyes locked on Kris and his glare gained in intensity.
"How can you joke about this? Aren't you the least bit concerned?" I asked, frowning at him.
The lame smile disappeared from his face and he was instantly serious. He stared at me briefly then shifted his eyes to Kirk. They stared at each other in silence, each one trying to read the other's thoughts. I was Kris who eventually broke the silence.
"Of course I'm concerned," He answered me, looking at Kirk. "But I'm not going to worry about something I have no control over. If he gets me traded, he gets me traded, I don't have a say in it either way,"
"No," Kirk said firmly, getting to his feet. "I won't let it happen,"
He walked from the dining room and into the living room. I heard the door open and slam before Kris even had a chance to get up from his chair. He glanced over at me, and I nodded. He ran after Kirk, leaving me alone with my thoughts. Something just wasn't right about this situation. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. They were supposed to be perfect, no cares in the world. I was supposed to be able to look at them and always smile, because they're that much in love. But now I see them, and all I get is worry. Kirk actually looked angry with Kris when he stormed out, that was something I'd never seen the entire time I'd known them. Sergei was already getting his desired effect. He was screwing them up, and I was powerless to help them. That simple fact alone caused tears to slip from my eyes. I didn't try to fight them. I laid my head down on the table and let them do their worst.
When Kennedy came running in, I immediately got up from the table and wiped at my eyes. Thankfully, she never paid attention to me and ran right past into the living room. Darren followed closely behind her with Keenan in his arms. I smiled at him briefly and took Keenan from his arms, trying not to make eye contact. But I wasn't quick enough, because I felt a hand on my shoulder as I tried to walk away. I stopped and slowly turned back to him. I smiled meekly and that concerned papa bear look spread across his face. I mouthed the words "it's nothing" and turned back toward the living room. I walked up the stairs slowly, hoping that when I got back Darren would've left. I hated avoiding him like that, but I just didn't know how to even start to tell him. I took Keenan to his room and laid him down in his crib. I kissed him on the forehead and started the mobile. I grabbed the baby monitor on my way out, and made my way back downstairs.
When I stepped back into the dining room, Darren stood waiting for me. I tried to fight back the tears as I stared at him, but the look in his eyes was too much. I collapsed against him and burst into tears. He wrapped his arms around me, and instantly I felt protected. But it wasn't me that needed protecting. The hurt wasn't happening directly to me. If it was, I'd do anything in my power to stop it. No, it was happening to two completely innocent people who were helpless to stop it. They were the ones that needed protecting. My tears slowed to a halt and I peeled myself away from Darren. I wiped at my eyes and sat down at the table. Darren sat next to me and grabbed my hands in his.
"What is it, Julie?" he asked concernedly, staring me straight in the eye.
I debated with myself if it was my place or not to tell him, knowing how he gets. But I didn't see anyway around it. I couldn't lie to him, not after I broke down like that. And I wasn't sure how up to it Kris and Kirk would be. I sighed at him and smiled as best I could.
"It's Sergei..." I started, my voice getting caught in my throat. "He said he's going to get Kris traded,"
He pulled his hands away from mine and I saw him clench his fists together. He brought one to his mouth and bit down on the knuckle. His lips moved inaudibly and he shook his head. I couldn't for the life of me make out what he was saying, but the look in his eyes told me it wasn't good. He stood up slowly then looked down at me.
"Where'd they go?"
"I don't know. Kirk ran out, and Kris followed him," I replied, standing and leaning against the table.
Darren shook his head then glanced into the kitchen. He looked back at me then pulled me into a hug.
"Tell them to call me as soon as you see them. Okay?" He said as he pulled away from me.
I nodded and walked with him back into the backyard. Everyone but Darren's family had left, making me feel like a horrible hostess. Cheryl smiled at me as I walked up, then whistled, rounding up her children. Kennedy came charging out of the house and ran up to Darren. He picked her up and gave her a kiss on the cheek before handing her off to me. She waved bye to Darren and Family as they walked toward the gate and out of the yard. I carried her over to the sandbox and sat her down. She immediately forgot about me and started digging in the dirt. I watched her with a smile on my face. So innocent, not a care in the world. What I wouldn't give to have that for at least a day. But really, that's not the way I liked things anyway. I was used to things the hard way. I always managed to make it through somehow, I don’t know why I was so scared this time. I don't know why, but I was.
I don't know how long I was out there before Kris came back. The baby monitor stayed silent, so I just sat there, watching Kennedy build castle after castle, then proceed to kick them down. I tried my best not to think, just watch her have fun. I succeeded for a while, but as soon as Kris came back, I was tossed right back into worry. He looked like a mess. His eyes were bloodshot, and his face was red and blotchy, obviously stained with tears. Judging from the way Kris looked, things with Kirk didn't go too well. He walked over to me and sat on the ground at the edge of the sandbox. He sighed and laid his head back against my leg. I smiled sadly at him and brushed my fingers through his hair.
"Are you okay?" I asked softly.
"I'm fine,"
The tone of his voice made it completely obvious to me that he wasn't fine. I sighed and shook my head.
"Why lie to me Kris? I know you," I sighed, continuing to run my fingers through his hair.
I looked down at him and saw his lip quiver. I knew what was coming, so I dropped down from the sandbox and sat next to him. I pulled him into my arms just as the flood gates burst. He sobbed quietly in my arms while I rocked him back and forth. I kept glancing behind us at Kennedy, but she was still preoccupied with her destruction of castles. I whispered to Kris everything would be okay, but each time, he choked out a "how?" I couldn't answer his question, and that tore me up inside. I wanted nothing more than to take away his pain right now, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't do anything but hold him and whisper how everything would be okay, even though I didn't know that was true. I hated this feeling of helplessness, it was so alien to me. I was so used to being the one that fixed everything. I could only sit back and wait, and worry. And that may be the worst feeling ever.
When Kris' tears started to slow, he pulled away from me and walked inside. I told Kennedy it was bed time, and after a little bit of protesting, she went along willingly. Kris was nowhere to be seen when I walked in, so I took Kennedy upstairs and performed the usual bedtime rituals. When she was all cleaned up, I carried her into her room and tucked her into bed. I glanced at the Tweety Bird clock on her wall and sighed when it read 10:19. I let her stay up way too late tonight. I leaned down and kissed her on the forehead, then walked over to the radio. I turned the volume down softly, and hit play on the CD. The only way she could sleep lately is with music going, so we'd bought a small radio for her bedroom. She'd claimed my Diana Ross CD as her own, and it'd been her nighttime sleep aid ever since. She said goodnight as I walked out of the room, and I turned and I blew her a kiss. I left the door open just a crack, then walked next door to Keenan's room.
When I walked in, I was surprised to see Kris sitting in the rocking chair with Keenan in his arms. I smiled and walked up beside him. He looked at me sadly and kissed Keenan on top of the head. I took him from his arms and laid him softly back in the crib. He never moved, not as if I really expected him too, the kid could sleep through anything. I walked over to Kris and bent down to kiss him on the cheek. I grabbed his hand and whispered "come on." He sniffled, and followed slowly behind.
I walked downstairs and into the living room. I sat down on the couch and waited for Kris to join me. He trod slowly into the room, and sat next to me on the couch. He laid his head in my lap, and the tears resumed their silent flow from his eyes. I ran my fingers through his hair, choosing not to say a word, and wait for him to speak. Eventually, I heard him take a ragged breath and sigh.
"I'm...so...scared, Julie," He cried, his body shaking.
"I know sweetie," I said softly, tears slipping slowly from my eyes. "I know." Those were the last words we spoke that night. Kris eventually fell asleep in my lap; the day had taken a lot out of him. I slid off the couch, and covered him up with a blanket, then went upstairs to my room. I dressed for bed, then crawled beneath the covers. I laid there silently and let the tears come back to me. This situation scared me to the core. I vowed to kick ass on anything that tried to hurt them, but I couldn't do it here. Sergei had power on that team, over that team. They'd bend over backwards to make him happy, it's been proven. And if getting rid of Kris would make him happy, they'd do it in a second. There was nothing I could do but wait. Wait, and worry, and drive myself to the brink of insanity in the process. Well, and pray; pray for something to make this situation go away, and make everything the way it should be. I only hoped there was a god somewhere that catered to gay hockey players.
TBC
© 2002 Triple X
Continue