Rating: PG-13, I think
Original Date of Completion: November 2002
Disclaimer: I own no one. This is completely fake and conjured in the confines of my demented little mind, so please don't sue me.
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Don't say a word
I know you feel the same
Just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything
Please don't walk away
I know you wanna stay
Just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything
Good Charlotte "Say Anything"
Used Without Permission
Rob's POV
Silence. It was just like our meeting last night, except this time Lance and Dawn weren't around to speak for me. It was just Teresa and I here, and neither one of us seemed able to talk. I'd tried about 80 billion times since I sat down, but every time I opened my mouth my throat dried up, and the words were lost. And her, she'd barely looked at me since I got here. Her eyes had been focused on the rose since I'd given it to her. I didn't really know if it was right to get it for her; I'd only ever given her roses for big occasions, birthdays, anniversaries, stuff like that. But something screamed to me as I walked past the flower shop. So I listened, and I bought her a single white rose, just like I used to. Now I was starting to think that it was a mistake, because the rose held more of her attention than I did. She held it loosely in her fingers, pressing softly against the petals. She'd been doing that for ten minutes now.
I hadn't gotten an ounce of sleep last night. I'd tried like hell, but sleep never came to me. I couldn’t stop thinking about today, and what it meant after so long. Not seeing her for five years had given me little hope that there would ever be resolution. That's why when I saw her yesterday I knew that I had to talk to her. I knew it was my opportunity to finally close that chapter of my life. I had laid awake all night thinking about that. Unfortunately, that left me no time to think about what I would actually do today. So far I'd said "Thank you for coming", and followed that up with ten solid minutes of staring at her hands. An opportunity I'd waited five years for, and I was just letting it slip away. But then again, I've never really expected more of myself any time I'd thought about this day.
I knew what I wanted to say to her. I'd had the words in my mind for five years, chipping away at me like a sculptor to stone. They weren't even hard words, they were simple in every sense of the word. "Why, Teresa?" Two little words that I couldn’t seem to say. That was the one question I wanted answered in this world. That one little question had plagued my thoughts for the last five years. And now that I had a chance for the answer, I couldn't bring myself to ask it. I didn't really know why that was.
But I had my thoughts. The same feeling that had ruled me throughout this entire situation prevented me from asking her what I wanted to. Fear. There was so much to fear in this situation, I couldn't decide which fear to blame it on. There was the fear of hurting her, seeing her cry was just a step above Vince McMahon naked on the things I don't want to see list. Then there was the fear of projectile vomiting, it wouldn't be too nice to puke on her after all this time. But really, I think it was the last one I felt that was holding me back. And that was fear of her answer. Asking her that one simple question could produce not so simple answers, and maybe some things that I don't want to hear. My body had a way of defending itself against hurt; that was probably why every time I tried to speak, my throat became a desert. Under normal circumstances I'm extremely thankful for that system. But in this case, I just wish it would go away. I had to speak to her, I had to say something, anything really at this point. Because from the looks of things, if one of us doesn't start, we'll be here until Wrestlemania 34.
"Rob," She said quietly, her voice shattering the silence. Her eyes rose from the table slowly and focused on mine. "One of us should be saying something right now,"
I blinked at her, fighting with myself to find words. Again they refused to form, so with a small sigh I nodded.
"And obviously that person has to be me," She mumbled, staring back down at the table.
Mentally I was kicking myself for not being able to speak. I could tell that this was just as hard on her as it was on me. But I wasn't making it any easier. I was the one that had told her we needed to speak in the first place. And now I was just sitting there doing my best mime impression and letting her start the talking. That wasn't fair to her, this whole meeting was my idea. I took a deep breath, jamming my eyes shut and biting my tongue. I clenched my hands together beneath the table and slowly opened my mouth, praying to God that words would come out.
"I'm....I'm sorry," I stuttered, shaking my head. "This is just...harder than I thought it would be,"
She placed the rose on the table in front of her and slowly raised her eyes back to mine. "It's been five years," She stated plainly, folding her hands together.
"Y yeah, it has," I stammered nervously, my knees knocking beneath the table.
Silence fell over us again at the finish of my statement. But unlike the other times, this time our eyes stayed locked on each other. I could see the nervousness in her eyes, the pale blue betraying her emotions like they always had. I'd seen those eyes so many times, just stared into them for hours upon hours, floating away in the misty ocean that they were. But now, they looked so different, so....old. I almost couldn't believe that those were the same eyes that had looked at me every night with such excitement before she walked out to the ring. I guess in five years something about her had to change. Because in any other way I could see, she was just as beautiful as she always had been. But her eyes, they spoke changes that I couldn't see.
But I really expected no different. Five years is a long time, people change. I didn't expect her to come here and be the same Teresa I remembered her as. It would be crazy for me to expect that, even as much as I may've wanted it. I wasn't the same person, not even a close model of the same person I had been with her. Five years and heartbreak had changed me a lot. I'm sure the five years had changed her also. I'm not so sure about the heartbreak; I'd never been able to find out if it even existed for her. And even staring at her now, I don't know if I'll have the guts to ask her. Because any answer she could give me is liable to send me back down that path it took me so long to get off of. And that was one place I had no desire to return to.
"Robbie," She spoke, snapping me again from my thoughts. I shook my head and forced a small smile. She reciprocated with one of her own, but only for the briefest second. "Why did you want to meet if you can't talk to me?"
I stared at her, and took a deep breath. "I...I have to know why, Teresa?" I finally managed to speak. "I have to know why you left that night,"
Her eyes shut instantly and she turned away from me. I watched her hand clench on the table and faintly heard her take a deep breath. Her eyes trembled from the force that held them closed. It may have been five years since I'd seen that last, but I knew she was forcing back tears. There were so many nights when she would do that, yet another movie on cable making her cry. I wasn't quite sure how to react right now. A part of me wanted to walk over and pull her into my arms, and tell her it was okay to cry. But another part of me wanted to scream at her, and ask her why she did the terrible things that she did. That part was alarmingly loud; I found myself closing my eyes and begging it to go away. Yelling at her would do no good, she was already crying. I had never yelled at Teresa in my life and I refused to do it now. But I couldn't just sit back and let her cry, and let the words die off again. I had to do something, anything to keep them alive. With a sigh, I reached across the table and slipped my hand on top of hers.
"Teresa. Please," I said quietly, fighting back the emotion from my voice. "Please tell me why,"
TBC
© 2002 Triple X
