You could be so cool

I can teach you the way,

Thereís just a few rules

You will have to obey:

Donít listen to bluegrass,

Donít listen to jazz,

Just buy all the CDs

That everyone has.

Donít wear what is different

And make rich kids stare

Better buy magazines

To learn what to wear.

These say what are cool clothes

And you better get in

Theyíll show the new style

And you better fit in.

Do what we all do

And donít be unique;

Just get into herd thinking

Or your chances are bleak.  

So do not watch Star Trek,

Do not collect stamps,

Take walks in the forest,

Go to scholastic camps,

Donít watch foreign movies,

Films in black and white,

Just slapstick and action

Where macho guys fight

Or a straightforward romance

With quick, easy sex

Or films that are simple

With special effects.

Donít read science fiction

Or weird fantasy

Or musty old classics

Better just watch TV. 

Donít do all that weird stuff!

Donít be such a fool!

Be an assembly-line product

And you will be cool.