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Trouble's Place On The Net
Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the computer Thou shalt not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or monitor as if thou art transparent Thou shalt not projectile vomit from the top of the refrigerator Thou shalt not walk in on a dinner party and commence to licking thy butt Thou shalt not lie down with thy butt in thy human's face Thou shalt not leap from great heights onto thy human's genital region Thou shalt not wake thy human at 2am by coughing up a hairball Thou shalt remember that fast as thou art, thou cannot run through closed doors Thou shalt not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking on it Thou shalt not climb onto the garbage can with the hinged lid, as thou wilt fall in and trap thyself Thou shalt not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down Thou shalt not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder at 4am Thou shalt realize that the house is not a prison from which to escape at any opportunity Thou shalt not trip thy humans even if they are walking too slow Thou shalt not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house Thou shalt remember that thou art a carnivore and that houseplants are not meat Thou shalt not show remorse when being scolded
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