http://www.angelfire.commi2/robhenderson/
robnaomi@oceana.net
Song of Songs 2:14-15
March 11, 2001 am
Can you guess the product as I name the ingredients and then what is the missing ingredients that make it what it should be?
1. High fructose corn syrup, tomato puree, molasses, distilled vinegar, food starch modified, hickory smoke flavoring, salt, spice, onion powder, natural flavor, garlic flavor, celery salt, xanthangum, sodiumbenzoate, caramel color. (Open Pit Barbeque Sauce) (Add chicken or ribs or other meat)
2. Dehydrated Idaho potatoes, food starch modified, dried cheddar/blue cheeses, whey, nonfat dried milk, salt, partially hydrogenated soybean oil, malto dextrin, dried onion, disodium phosphate, lecithin, mono and diglerides, sodium bicarbonate, annatto extract (color), citric acid, dried garlic, natural flavor, dried parsley, turmeric/paprika extracts (color), yellow 6 lake, and sodium bisulfate (preservative). (Idahoan Au Gratin Potatoes) (add water, milk & margarine)
3. Tomato puree, distilled vinegar, sugar, less than 2%: salt, dehydrated onions, dehydrated red and green bell peppers, chili pepper, tomato fiber, spices, guar gum, xanthan gum, oregano, dehydrated garlic, locust bean gum, natural flavors. (Manwich Sloppy Joe Sauce) (add 1 pound of hamburger or venison burger)
4. Sugar, enriched bleached flour, partially hydrogenated vegetable shortening (soybean oil, cottonseed oil), with emulsifier, food starch modified, dextrose, leavening, salt, corn starch, artificial flavor, tetrasodium pyrophosfate, disodium phosphate, color (yellow 5&6). (Bakers Corner Moist Blend Yellow Cake Mix) (add water, oil & eggs)
I want to emphasize as we begin that with each marriage and household the necessary ingredient that makes your marriage the product that God wants it to be is Him. He wants to be a part of your relationship with your spouse.
The Song of Songs brings to us the love story of two young people who face the challenge of maintaining their love for one another despite the outside forces that strive to endanger and rob them of marital bliss. As we continue our quest to enriching our marriages the challenge remains clear: God wants to instill your marriage with the power and wisdom of the Holy Spirit that only comes through Jesus Christ on the cross.
“My dove, in the clefts of the rock, in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely. Catch us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom.”
There are three points that I would like to make today that I hope will lead us to stronger marriages that will make for stronger family relationships and will provide us with a stronger church so that we can be better equipped to do the work of the kingdom.
1. THE KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR
I am going to make some presumptions that are going to probably be fairly close to the truth: Every woman desires a man who is her knight in shining armor. Every woman wants to be loved and nurtured in the arms of her man. Every woman longs for a husband who is her lover and protector.
Men: We have a challenge set before us by this simple shepherd boy who was in love with this Shulammite girl. We are to be our wives knight in shining armor. Now I realize that the Bible doesn’t quite say it this way. But take a look at what is written: He refers to his wife as his dove in the clefts of the rock, in the hiding places on the mountainside.
A dove seeks shelter in a hole along the side or even underneath a cliff to avoid birds of prey that are seeking to devour her. She also will use these shelters as places of refuge when storms ravage the land. The dove looks for a place in the cleft of the rock.
When a wife is assailed by storms in her life or is threatened by those around her, she naturally looks for protection. And who does she go to? Her husband. Her man. Her knight in shining armor who will care for her, defend her and keep her safe from harm. This is so important to your marriage.
Husbands, we have been called by God to be the spiritual leaders of our homes. We must be providing an atmosphere in our marriages that allows our wives to come to us when they need assurance or safety.
What must you do? Defend your wife when she faces opposition; be there for her. Console her when she is hurting. Build a safety net of prayer around your wife.
Guys, our number one responsibility is to our wife. Pray for her, provide for her and protect her.
2. THE PRINCESS IN WAITING
LADIES: Believe it or not but your husband longs to be able to communicate with you. Huh? Yes! The man wants to hear kind and soft words from his babe. Verse fourteen goes on to say this: “...show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely.”
Now I must confess that my wife is her cutest when she is her maddest. At least I used to think so. But let’s face the truth: men want to her their wives sweet voice. Not a sweet voice that sounds sexy but sweet in the sense that you love your husband. The sound of your voice is not nearly as important as to what you say.
Your husband wants to love you but may have a hard time expressing that love. We have heard from psychologists that men use love to get sex and women use sex to get love but the truth of the matter is that both want to be loved and be able to love.
What needs to happen is that we men need to be willing to listen to our wives without judgment or correction. And the wife must be willing to speak positively and kindly.
Remember communication is a two way street with two sides: we don’t need to be colliding if we understand that boundaries are necessary for a good interchange.
3. THE FOXES IN THE GARDEN
As we proceed with our marriage from the nuptials through the challenges of life we soon realize that the knight has some chinks in his armor and the princess has tears in her gown. Slowly, as love blossoms, so does our idiosyncrasies. We observe how different we are, how our opinions vary and we begin to see each other’s weaknesses.
What is tragic is that a lot of marriages suffer because the spouses begin to feed of one another’s weaknesses.
The Song of Songs likens your marriage to a vineyard or garden. Consider the plants that you get from the floral shop. This first one is being nurtured by one of our members who understands plant-life. See how dressed out it has become. A few weeks ago it was losing leaves and looking sickly but a little tender loving care and here it is: as good as before.
This second plant is beautiful. In fact, we have had to do nothing with this plant. The reality is that it’s not a plant at all but a group of silk flowers and leaves with plastic stems. It looks gorgeous.
This third plant that I have is nearly dead. Too much water, too much heat, or too much sun. Something happened and now we have to consider the plant’s future. Perhaps we can save it, but I am not sure.
Many marriages are like this third plant. Oh, they don’t usually look this way when it is out in public. In fact, we do a good job of dressing up this plant. We press artificial features into it but underneath the facade it is nearly dead. Our masks do a good job of disguising our marital problems. I am not saying that we need to look like our marriage in public but I am saying that God knows what your marriage is like. And He wants to be involved.
“Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom.”
Satan is alive and well on planet earth. He is going to and fro seeking whom he may devour. He is casting fiery darts at your marriage and home. And he starts at the beginning and continues to the end. He is crafty and clever.
What can we do to improve our serve with our spouses?
a. Pray together. Learn to value your spiritual-ness as a married couple. Lift each other up in prayer. What should you pray? Thank God for your spouse. Ask God to protect your spouse. If you have problems with your spouse, give those cares to the Lord. Seek His guidance and direction. Ask for the empowerment of the Holy Spirit to deal with the problems that you are facing.
b. Praise each other. Tell your wife that she did an excellent job. Leave notes of encouragement to each other. Buy your wife flowers for no real reason except you love her. Fix his favorite meal- maybe eat by candle light. Do little things for each other. Say please and thank you. Make complements about your spouse to other people. Take a walk through the woods or a drive to nowhere in particular. Lift each other up.
c. Proceed together. Your marriage is to each other and therefore your daily journey is to be with one another.
i. Profess your love to each other. Say “I love you” and then live that way towards your spouse.
ii. Confess your short-comings. Say “I’m sorry.” and mean it.
iii. Discuss your feelings. To the sharer: Tell your complaints as positively as possible. To the sharee: Listen and respond slowly. To both: Anger does not accomplish positive outcomes. What God wants to see accomplished is for your marriage to move forward within the scope of His will. Fear is never an ingredient of a good and godly marriage.
We must always be watching for self. Self has a way of being exalted if we are not careful. We must empty our marriages of self and allowing God to fill us with the Holy Spirit. And then we will be able to AGAPE our spouse. That is, love him or her unconditionally with no expectations attached.
