i dont know.
i was listening to music earlier (Tori Amos, 'jackies strength') and my eyes became blurry and my hands began to tremble, spilling drops of hot chocolate on my unfeeling legs. then i just began to sob. it lasted only a matter of seconds. not even a minute. and then it passed, and i sat there on my bed, paralized, snapping out of my trance only when Tori's vioce faded on the last song. then i drank my cold hot chocolate and didnt think anymore about it.
i was just thinking. or maybe i wasn't. maybe that's it.
i was not anything or nothing. i just was. and it scared me.
sometimes i wonder what sound tastes like. i think i tasted it once, in the middle of nowhere (that's North Dakota to you). it was kind of sweet but it had this bitter aftertaste. i hate to see it go. i miss sound. good sounds. sounds that make me shiver with delight.
i feel bad today. like someone close to me has ceased to exsist, leaving me all alone here on this little speck of dust we call earth.
who ever it was,
i miss you.
