i think i lost my mind tonight.. thats okay though.. we dont mind.. mind.. that word again.. you see,, i just realized something and it cracked my skull wide open.. i know everything.. i just dont know everything because i think i dont.. if i knew that i know everything then i would be crushed by the unbearable weight of all the knowlege.. so i have dismissed it just like everybody else.. we all know everything and yet we know nothing because we know only what we allow ourselves to know.. how could we not know?? our minds have simply been trained to forget so that we might comply to the social standards iflicted upon us from the time we are born.. brilliant people are often considered eccentric because they behave in a manner that "normal" people consider to be strange.. the reason for their "odd" behavior is that their exstensive understanding of life and death and space and time and all matter and all the inner workings of the human mind have both humbled and empowered them,, giving them different eyes through which to view the world.. clear eyes,, uncluttered by commonly accepted processes..
i can never really talk to anyone about things like that becuase they look at me like i am nuts and tell me that i am just trying to sound and feel smart by intellectualizing everything when it is all really so simple.. yeah,, so simple that it drives the mental elite nearly to the brink of maddness..
not that i am so intelligent.. i have accepted that i do not possess the mental poweress neccessary to maintain some amount of sanity while harboring genius..
my end will most certainly be a violent one that will leave you all choking in a sea of blood and tears and unread poetry.. i am cursed.. i am blessed.. i am human.. my life was tragic,, but my rebirth will be glorious..
or so i would like to think..
i dont mean to freak you out by babling like that,, its just that sometimes (all the time) i question my purpose on this horribly wonderful little planet..
i must cease to know now, so i can again join my fellow earthlings in their so called reality....
