Find Your Drag Name
For your first name take the name of the name of the first pet that you have owned, if you never had a pet use someone elses that you may be fond of or see a lot. For your middle name, use your favorite flower but take away the first letter and replace it with the first letter of your actual name. For your last name take the name of the street that you currently live on at the time you decide to find out your drag name.
Example: Bill's first pet's name was Trixie. His favorite flower is a rose and he lives on Maple Lane. His drag name would be Trixie Bose Maple.
May I ask, why did you even do this?
The Frog Joke
A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing...
He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green.
He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron."
The man looks around and doesn't see anyone. Again, he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron."
He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts the club away, and grabs a 9 iron. Boom! He hits it 10 inches from the cup. He is shocked. He says to the frog, eh?
The frog replies, "Ribbit Lucky Frog."
The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole..
"What do you think frog," the man asks. "Ribbit 3 wood."
The guy takes out a three wood and, Boom! Hole in one. The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say. By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog, "Ok, where to next?
The frog replies, "Ribbit Las Vegas."
They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, "Ok frog, now what?" The frog says, "Ribbit Roulette."
Upon approaching the roulette table, the man asks, "What do you think I should bet?"
The frog replies, "Ribbit $3000, black 6."
Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the game of golf the man figures what the heck. Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table. The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel.
He sits the frog down and says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and I am forever greatful."...
The frog replies, "Ribbit kiss me."
He figures why not, since after all the frog did for hims, he deserves it. With a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous 15 year old girl.
"And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room. So help me God or my name is not William Jefferson Clinton."
FUN Things 2 Do @ WAL*MART
30 Fun Things to do @ Walmart:
1. Take Shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
4. Run up to an employee(preferably a male? while squeezing your legs together and proctically yell at him, "I need some tampons."
5. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.
6. Try on bras over the top of your clothes.
7. While walking around the store, sing in you loudest voice possible,"I smell ____ and candy, yeah."
8. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.
9. Tune all the radios to a polka stateion, then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10."
10. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
11. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
12. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.
13. Put M&M's on layaway.
14. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
15. Set up a tent in the camping department, tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
16. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
17. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
18. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
19. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
20. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
21. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
22. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly as the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
23. Switch the men's and women's signs on the dorrs of the restrooms.
24. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."
25. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
26. In the auto department, practice your "madonna" look with various.
27. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "pick me!! pick me!!" and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them.
28. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
29. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to chek people out.
30. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
