~ Words of Wit ~

Follow your dreams ! Unless it's the one where you're at work in your underwear.

Always take time to stop and smell the roses...and sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee.

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just leave me alone.

If a motorist cuts you off, just turn the other cheek. Nothing gets the message across like a good mooning.

When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.

Keep a small chalkboard near the phone. That way, when a salesman calls, you can hold the receiver up to it and run your fingernails across it until he hangs up.

Fool other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car phone by holding an old tv or vcr remote up to your ear and occasionally swerving across the road and mounting the curb.

Old telephone books make ideal address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don't know.

Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windshield wipers turned to fast whenever you park your car illegally.