* Enough money within your control to move out and rent a place on your own, even if you never want or need to.

* Something perfect to wear if an employer or the man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.

* A youth you're happy to move beyond.

* A past juicy enough that you're looking forward to retelling it in your old age.

* A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra.

* A good friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.

* Eight matching plates, wineglasses and a recipe for a meal that will make your guests feel honored.

* A good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.

* A feeling of control over your own destiny.

* How to be in love without losing yourself.

* How to quit a job, break up with a man and confront a friend without ruining the relationship.

* When to try harder and when to walk away.

* How to kiss a man in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn't want to happen next.

* What you would and wouldn't do for love.

* That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it's over.

* How to live alone, even if you don't like it.

* Who you can trust, who you can't, and why you shouldn't take it personally.

* Where you can go - be it your best friend's kitchen table or a place hidden in the woods - when your soul needs soothing.

* What you can and can't accomplish in a day, a month, and a year.