Hey minna-san! I don't have much to say so...here goes! WARNING: This fic is dark! I hate writing dark so often, but it just seems to work out that way. Read at your own discretion. This fic is in no way happy! Sorry, but...I thought it was an interesting idea.
Disclaimer: Don’t ya just hate these things? I don’t own Sailor Moon, and if I did, I would have too much money and other things to do than write little side fics to the main story. (don’t get me wrong, I *love* fics!) So, don’t sue me (you wouldn’t get much anyway).
P.S. I really do expect feed back on this because, I sort of hated where it went. I personally am angry with how I ended it too. Please tell me what you thought, and don’t hesitate to criticize, I need some good criticism here! Well, here goes...
* = Yes, I know I murdered the spelling -_-;
Rating: PG13
By: Lisa-chan
“You’re right, we aren’t human.” Rei acknowledged bitterly to the trembling child before her. “We’re sort of like embodied spirits, you could say. Oh, yes, we were alive once, so very long ago it now seems...Life was better then, we were happy; oblivious, of what was yet to come.”
It had been 200 years since that fateful day, the day that they all lost their innocence, along with their hold on reality. Sure, they had tried to forget that they were no longer a part of the mortal world, but to no avail. Every time they came anywhere near feeling normal, and enjoying life again, their lives were interrupted by some new maniacal villain set on destroying the world. Weren’t they all? Their enemies really were pathetic, all lusting after power and complete destruction for whatever reason they saw fit. Every time, however, they were defeated, one after another. The true chance-of-a-lifetime had come in a different life for them altogether. That second chance had come when Queen Serenity sent them to be reborn on Earth. But such things can only happen once, or that’s what is supposed. This was the story of their lives, the story of the forever blood tainting their hands, jading their souls. In fact, it was only their souls that they had left. Oh, they had immortality, that was one thing, but to them it was completely useless. Day after day they were tormented as they watched the happy, if short-lived existence of their subjects, the people who still took for granted life’s precious breath. Always wistful in heart for love, for life, for happiness, for the sensation of adrenaline to run through their veins once more. But this could never be so. Never since that day, had they felt such joy, so undaunted, and they were resentful. Each one berated themselves for ever becoming a senshi. Each one despised their forever existence, in which they would never age, and never experience true emotion again. It was shattering, leaving their minds as tormented fathoms of unending darkness and confusion. But they would never let any mortal being know of their angst, their unimaginable pain, never.
They all remembered that day with unbounded clarity, the day that the senshi began their forever turmoil as immortals; not one of them had any premonition as to what was bidden to become their fate. The battle against Metallia had been a triumphant one, but one full of loss as well. One by one, the senshi were killed as they strove to reach their goal, leaving only Usagi to go on. She was victorious in fight; defeating Metallia, but at the same time, losing her own life. But it wasn’t their deaths themselves that made reality a hell to them, it was the awakening to ‘life’ afterward. Usagi brought them back, selflessly, and with the purest of intentions. She absolutely could not have known this: When they awoke in their beds, oblivious to all, something was different. They didn’t have understanding or lucidity of what it was yet, but something was forever different.
It was a full ten years before they finally realized what they had become. There of course had been signs earlier than this that conveyed the same truth, but they had been lost for meaning. Ten years, and not one of them had aged even in the slightest. Sure, Usagi’s hair had become a gleaming silver, and Mamoru’s was beginning to bleach away into his own shade of lavender, but none other of their physical features had been altered. They were nearly invincible in battle, taking countless amounts of injuries before they would show any weakness at all. And every time they did appear to lose their lives, they were easily resurrected, and without incident. Ami had been suspicious of something for quite some time, but at that point she was near certain that something was seriously wrong. They were beginning to lose control of their emotions; no, they could control them all right, but they were starting to lose them, and to lose the feeling of ‘consciousness’. Late one night Ami decided to do a scan of her body, to try to comprehend what was causing this shift in their behaviors. She nearly collapsed from the shock of the data that was spread over her computer screen. It basically read that her body tissue was not living, and neither was the being that it had come from. This was when they knew that they were no longer truly alive.
At first they tried to go on with their lives as they had before, but their ability to feel human emotion was steadily diminishing. For ages they tried to find a way to resurrect themselves fully into living human beings. Countless times Usagi would wish for the Gizinshou* to restore them, but to no avail. It was hopeless. And when the senshi realized that, what little was left of their morale went spiraling downward, and their world went crashing along with it. Over the next century they learned to disguise their agony, and tried to accept the way in which they were destined to lead their ‘lives’. It, of course, was useless as well. They began to purposefully draw away from the life that surrounded them and would often disappear for days, as they tried to live out past memories, even if only in their mind’s eye.
Self loathing became a huge problem for the senshi. How they all wished that they could just cease to exist! Rei was the first to try it; to try to destroy herself. In her anguish, the flung herself off a cliff and into a rocky abyss below. It took all of 5 days for her twisted body to heal. The people began to take notice of them as well, no matter how many times they changed their names. They were freaks; people that parents told their children horrific stories about, all with some made-up moral behind them. They resorted to moving into an uninhabited area on the outskirts of Tokyo, where they were now, completely alone. Slowly, they lost their sanity, and every so often Minako would start babbling about going to the arcade, or a senshi meeting at Hiwaka Shrine. Both were long gone now, as was everyone they had ever cared for. They were tormented souls, who only had their memories left. But memories fade as well. Even Luna and Artemis, who were born of magic eventually died, but were never forgotten. Usagi, the only one who had been able to feel any love in these times, marveled after their deaths. They had both chosen to live out their lives in utter sorrow with the senshi, while they could have been free to enjoy the world. It was a great sacrifice.
In a large clearing, seemingly devoid of all life, one lone figure stood. To some, it may have seemed an odd sight, but to her, it was a sight that she was very familiar with. “Why?” She cried out to the land in anguish, “Why are we forsaken like this? What did we do to ever deserve this suffering?” It hit her with a sickening blow, the realization that it would never end. They would always be in this way, this was only the beginning, and there was nothing any of them could do to change that. Makoto laughed bitterly in comprehension of this, “200 years, and an eternity to go.”
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