Avatar vs. the Burglar
(The following story is Humor Enhanced for your protection.)
Avatar was awakened from a sound sleep by the sound of his front door being opened. He lay very still in his bed for a few seconds to confirm if what he’s heard was real or the remnants of a dream. Sure enough, someone was moving around in his apartment. Silently (or as close to it as a 200 pound man who’d just woken up stumbling around in the dark can be) he got up, grabbed the nearest weapon, and tiptoed to the door to listen. Footsteps. His heart pounding, Avatar threw open the door and lept out brandishing his weapon just in time to see…
…his front door closing. Startled for a moment, Avatar recovered, ran to front door, tore it open, and faced…
…the front door of his foyer closing.
Well, all that adrenaline had to go somewhere. The chase was on! Avatar bounded up the stairs with a roar. Not wanting his quarry to escape, he didn’t stop to open the latch but shouldered it open and burst out onto the lawn of his apartment complex to discover:
1. The “burglar” was one of his men-at-arms who’d just gotten off the late shift who’d stopped by to see if Avatar wanted to out for a beer and,
2. The weapon he was waving around on the lawn was a six foot greatword and,
3. The greatsword was the only thing he was wearing and,
4. It was January and,
5. The self-locking door on his apartment building was closing behind him.
Avatar spent the next several minutes swearing profusely, trying to avoid snowdrifts, maintaining his dignity, and trying to figure out how in the world he was going to get back in his apartment. His buddy wisely refrained from comment.
Apparently, the commotion had aroused at least one of Avatar’s neighbors. One can only imagine what they might have thought upon looking out the window for the source of the yelling and profuse swearing, to see Avatar in all his glory, toting a six foot sword. At least one person was alarmed enough to call the police.
In the meantime, Avatar had hit upon the idea of trying the windows and was gingerly negotiating around the sticker bushes when his lookout spotted the patrol car. They both made a mad dash for the car and lay down hunkered in seat as the police played the spotlight around the perimeter of the complex.
By this time, Avatar was turning as blue as his pennon. When the patrol car left, his man-at-arms generously turned on the heater and they drove to Avatar’s lady’s dorm to get the spare key. With gentle persuasion, Avatar convinced his vassal that, perhaps, he ought to be the one to go in and get the key.
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