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Redneck Medical Terms





Artery..........The study of paintings

Bacteria..........Back door to the cafeteria

Barium..........What doctors do when patients die

Benign..........What you be after you be eight

Cesarean Section..........A neighborhood in Rome

Cat Scan..........Searching for kitty

Cauterize..........Made eye contact with her

Colic..........A sheep dog

Coma..........A punctuation mark

D & C..........Where Washington is

Dilate..........To live long

Enema..........Not a friend

Fester..........Quicker than someone else

Fibula..........A small lie

Genital..........Non-Jewish person

G.I. Series..........World Series of military baseball

Hangnail..........What you hang your coat on

Impotent..........Distinguished, well known

Labor Pain..........Getting hurt at work

Medical Staff..........A Doctor's cane

Morbid..........A higher offer than I bid

Nitrates..........Cheaper than day rates

Node..........I knew it

Outpatient..........A person who has fainted

Pap Smear..........A fatherhood test

Post Operative..........A letter carrier

Recovery Room..........Place to do upholstery

Rectum..........Damn near killed him

Secretion..........Hiding something

Seizure..........Roman emperor

Tablet..........A small table

Terminal Illness..........Getting sick at the airport

Tumor..........More than one

Urine...........Opposite of "you're out"

Varicose..........Near by/close by




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