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Welcome to the sneak preview of the new Motion Picture

Different Strokes: The Movie

Based on that hilarious 80's television
sitcom Diff'rent Strokes.

The first Motion Picture with a fully automated laugh track.

(Below are excerpts from Different Strokes: The Movie)

[The movie begins with a full screen picture of the elegant house and grounds.]
[The camera pans inside the house to the kitchen where Dad's fixing breakfast.]

"Well boys, what would you like on your toast this morning, light or dark caviar?" asked Dad.
"I'll take the toast with the afro-american caviar Dad." said Willis.
"Make mine the Honky caviar!" chirped Arnold.
"Oh you boys, what kidders you are." replied Dad, "If I didn't know you two better..."

[Canned Laughter. Canned applause.]
[Dad and the boys are interrupted by a knock on the door. The camera follows Dad to the door.]

"Someone's at the door. I'll get it boys."

[Dad opens the door to see two policeman on the front steps.]

"Well, good morning officers," said Dad, "what can I do for you?"
"Good morning sir. We've just been alerted from downtown that someone from this residence
has tampered with or tried to remove his or her tether. Now that's a felony offense
sir. Those tethers are put on prisoners because the jails are overcrowded.
They're not put there as a joke!" explained the police officer.
"Of course they're not officer. Come on in and we'll get to the bottom of this."

[The camera follows Dad and the officers back to the kitchen.]

"Okay boys listen up. It seems someone has been messing around with there prison tether.
Does anyone know anything about this?" asked Dad.
"It might be Sis," said Willis, "she's always getting into trouble."
"Whatchoo talkin' bout Wllis?" exclaimed Arnold,
"You know Sis has been in a coma ever since her failed suicide
attempt a couple of days ago. You know, she took those 250 sleeping pills and then washed
them down with a fifth of vodka. I just don't understand."
"Now Arnold you know we don't mention the S word in this house." cautioned Dad,
"We live in a upper-middle class white neighborhood
and we don't talk about suicide! Sis probably thought the sleeping pills were just vitamins
and that the vodka was health juice. It was just an accident.
But you are right Arnold, Sis has been in a coma for nearly a week.
She couldn't possibly have been
the one messing with the tether. That leaves Willis."
"I haven't done anything dad!" shouted Willis.

{The camera pans down to Willis's ankle where duct-tape is spilling out over his shoes.]

"Whatchoo talkin' bout Willis? I can see your tether all duct-taped up!" yelled Arnold excitedly.
"Arnold, now what did I tell you about using the phrase *whatchoo talkin' bout*? Didn't I say
I'd slap you up side the head if I heard you saying it again?" snapped Dad.
"Whatchoo talkin' bout Dad, why you never said....."

[Canned laughter. Canned applause.]

"And as for you Willis. I'm just so ashamed." said Dad, wiping the tears from his eyes.

[The camera pans to the officers handcuffing Willis and removing him from the house.]

"Well Arnold," said Dad, back in the kitchen, "it looks like we can eat all the light or dark caviar we want."
"Why's that dad?" asked Arnold, rubbing his face.
"Well, because your brother probably won't be back for breakfast for 2 to 4 years. Maybe less if
he gets out of Prison early for good behavior."
"In that case dad, he probably won't be out for 5 or 6 years, on account of extra time for
bad behavior." replied Arnold.
"Oh Arnold, what a kidder you are. If I didn't know you better...."

[Canned laughter. Canned applause.]

Comming to a theater near you
in the spring of 2000.

Different Strokes: The Movie

Filmed entirely on location at the
Santa Teresa Rehab Center.
Santa Teresa, California.

Listen to some of the sneak-preview reviews!

Gene Shallet says;
"You'll laugh! You'll cry! You'll
get sick to your stomach!"

From The White House;
"I think it's some of the best acting I've ever done.
It's even better than the decent guy image I stuffed
down the throat of the American people."

And more from The White House;
"I really got into this role. I could really get
a feel for the boys pain. Speaking of getting a feel.
WOW, Was Pamela Anderson HOT!!!!"

The Motion Picture Association of America denies any
association with this picture and has given it an IQ-40 rating.
(Anyone with an IQ over 40 that even considers seeing
this film, should have their head examined.)

This webpage is only a parody and is purely fictional.
It is not intended to offend anyone, except those reading it.