"Hotels are tired of getting ripped off. I checked into a
hotel and they had towels from my house." - Mark Guido "I knew I was an unwanted child when I saw my bath toys were a radio and a toaster." - Joan Rivers "When life has got me down and I'm ready to give up, I try to remind myself: 'I'm the one in control here. I have the gun and the hostages. So just back off, man, okay?'" - Dave Brennan "If I pinch my nose with my fingers, close my mouth tight, and *really* try to exhale, I can make my ears bleed. It's not as cool as Superman's X-ray vision, but it's my own special talent." - C.B. Droege 
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