* You keep spare bottles of freon in your car.

* You buy sun block by the case.

* You start bonding with your air conditioner.

* Your electric bill is higher than your house payments.

* You start putting ice cubes in your water bed.

* You start buying stock in Gatorade.

* You keep your refrigerator open just to feel the cool air.

* You keep humming the song heat wave to your self.

* You cancel your Hotmail account because you didn't like the name of it.

* You get a life long pass to White Water.

* Your dream house is any house in Alaska.

* Your not even sure how hot it is because your

heat thermometer only goes up to 120.

COLD !!

YOU KNOW IT'S COLD (In New York) WHEN...

* People buying hot roasted chestnuts to put in their pants.

* Dan and Connie doing the news huddled together in a sleeping bag.

* Mob corpses seen skidding across the East River.

* Times Square strip clubs advertising "Live Heavily-Dressed Girls!"

* Mario Cuomo making a fortune shoveling walks.

* Vendors selling down-filled hot dogs.

* This morning, Triple-A had to jumpstart Andrew Giuliani.

* People coming into Ed Sullivan Theater just to get warm.

*Instead of the finger, New Yorkers giving each other the mitten.

* Cabbies wearing flannel turbans.