Things You Don't Want To Hear Or Say In Bed   Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed? On second thought, let's turn off the lights. Got any penicillin? When is this supposed to feel good? You're good enough to do this for a living. Is that blood on the headboard? But everybody looks funny naked. How long do you plan to be 'almost there'? Sweetheart, did you lock the back door? Is that you I smell? Have you ever considered liposuction? I really hate people who actually think sex means something. But my cat always sleeps on the pillow! And to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner! I was so horny tonight I would have taken anything home. You look younger than you feel. Have you seen Fatal Attraction? Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper. This would be more fun with some more people, is your brother at home? Hey, when is it going to be my friend's turn? It's nice being in bed with something you don't need to put batteries into!! Did I mention the video camera? My old boyfriend used to do it a LOT longer! And to think-I was really trying to pick up your friend! Hope you're looking as good when I'm sober..... I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs! They're not biscuit crumbs, it's only a rash. You'll still vote for me, won't you?   Click here to send this page to a friend! Join our mailing list! Enter your email address below, then click the 'Join List' button: Powered by ListBot   Pats Web Graphics