Q: WHY CAN WOMEN NEVER PROGRAM A VCR?
A: Scientists have recently identified the VCR gene in males, which makes them predisposed to VCR programming. Females do not possess this gene, and are therefore unlikely ever to develop the skills required to program a VCR. It's a simple matter of genetics.

Q: WHAT IS A PYRAMID SCHEME?
A: A pyramid scheme is an illegal structure or building, designed to make the first people who started it rich while the rest of the poor suckers lose their money. The first pyramid scheme was started in Egypt, on the Giza plateau. One clever slave passed on five huge limestone slabs to his friends, telling them that if they passed more slabs on to their friends, they would get rich. His friends in turn passed this message on to their slave friends, and before long the result was a huge pyramid, today known as the Great Pyramid, or Pyramid of Giza. The slave who started it off got incredibly rich and became the next Pharaoh (which also explains a few other anomalies in the Egyptian chronology), while the other slaves lost all their money, went deep into debt and were eventually forced into slavery. Which made no difference, because they were already slaves. Nowadays, pyramid schemes are rife on the Internet, and this explains the proliferation of pyramids around the world. Pyramid schemes are actually illegal - therefore if you ever receive a huge limestone slab in your email box, do not forward it on but delete it immediately.

Q: WHAT IS THE ORIGIN OF EVIL?
A: The origin of evil has been hotly debated through the centuries. Christians claim that evil originated with the Devil, but the modern consensus among scientists is that evil was actually invented in the 2nd century BC by a Greek philosopher named Pleubiscus. Little is known of Pleubiscus, except for the information contained in his 24 volume autobiography entitled "Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Pleubiscus But Couldn't Be Bothered To Find Out." In it, Pleubiscus stated:
"Evil is not a psychical being, as some religions would have you believe (a few hundred years from now), but is merely the manifestation of negative energies in the universe."
This view was common among many intellectuals for several hundred years until the spread of Christian doctrine. In 185AD, Christian apologist Adonus Maximumus, in his great work "Apologies, But Pleubiscus Is Talking Crap", gave the following argument:
"Evil cannot simply be the 'manifestation of negative energies', because that is just plain stupid. Instead, evil is anything which opposes God."
This idea remained dominant until the 17th century, when thinkers such as Descartes began to question the nature of reality, and abstract artists began to personify evil as a vase of roses on a three-legged stool, symbolising the external attractiveness of evil and it's inability to sit down and be quiet ... or something.
Modern scholars tend to dismiss these ideas as fanciful. It is now believed that there are different degrees of evil. For instance, Adolf Hitler is widely considered to be one of the most evil men in history, whereas my ex-wife, who took the house, the kids, the car and my darn stereo, and despite being referred to by many people as "devil woman" and by myself as "a calculating bitch", is not considered (at least by the judge) to be in the least bit evil. Go figure.