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Here are some selected lyrics from
Militious-Redneck Roulette: The Full Monte (carlo)
Dynomite Bass Fishin'
I hear down in the Lone Star Republic
They got this bass fishin' contest
Where you can win a million dollars
That's temtation I just can't resist

So I'm goin' down to sorta hang around
I'm goin' Dynomite bass fishin'

I know fish live in the water
So I stole this here DNR boat
It came with a net and a six-pack
Shiny boots and a uniform

I'll just toss a stick in and those fishies won't swim
When I'm Dynomite Bass Fishin'

Now I've caught me my limit
And I didn't even take one cast
But you know that I'm still damn proud
Cause I outsmarted those crafty bass

Some folks say I'm a crook but I ain't baitin' no hook
I'm goin' Dynomite Bass Fishin'

Rusty Texas Crabs
Rollin' into Texas-well the truck it started stumblin'
But thoughts of Rusty Crabs had our stomachs all a rumblin'
When we saw a great big billboard speedin' past that state cop
Said "Get a case of crabs at Verns Topless Bar and Bait Shop"

Hopped off the highway and we pulled into that bar
we got our case of crabs. Boiled some water on a fire
Now Texas crabs are slimey. They're mighty hard to grab
Dropped 'em in my lap-them Rusty Texas Crabs

I swear honey they were only for nutrition
But ever since I ate 'em I've been scratchin' and a itchin'

The Colonel:
After winnin' big in Texas you know I did some celebratin'
But all that bass and beer had my stomach sorta achin'
So I found a little outhouse, grabbed some leaves and took a seat
Plopped down without lookin' and felt somethin' pinch my cheek

Well I figured "it's just a poopfly" so I commenced my concentration
Imagine my suprise when I saw them crustaceans
Must have climbed my grundies now I got 'em on my bags
I swear that's how I got 'em. Them Rusty Texas Crabs

I swear honey, thoughts of you I was treasuring
The whole time in Texas I was only self pleasuring

If those stories sound a little suspicious
I got one for ya that's not as ficticious

Drivin' back from Texas ya know my boat was swarmed with flies
I Fergot to drain the bilge after gettin' my fishin' prize
So I pulled the plug at a boat launch, right on Lake Michigan
And what I saw made me so scared I'll never fish again

Ya see swimmin' in that discharge as it come out of my boat
Were Rusty Texas Crabs from that Texas fishin' moat
They swum up in my waders and hooked their pinchers on my scrote

I swear honey that's what happened
I got 'em while I was crappin'
I'm itchin' and a scratchin'
Curse them Rusty Texas Crabs!
The Wetland Song

Won a fishin' contest now I'm buyin' me some land
40 acres on a river only cost me 5 grand!
Gonna build a trailer park and make a million bucks
All I gotta do is clear off these frogs and ducks

Loaded up my bogger with 10 tons of fill
buried all them critters 'neath a great big hill
Dammed up the ditches so the water flowed away
DID IT ALL without a single permit from the stste
All your bugs frogs toads and ducks are drying up with all the muck

(mother nature is crying)

Regulator finally caught me and man did she bitch
But I'd already built my trailer park and I was stinkin' rich
Got a dozen lawyers who are fightin' off the State
I'll pay a teeny weensy fine, but business is GREAT!

There goes your wetland--Oh wah wah wha
Oh your precious little wetland--Oh so sad
There goes your wetland--I feel so bad
All your bugs frogs toads and ducks are drying up with all the muck..

What do you mean I'm goin' to jail? That does it, I'm callin' Jeremiah Revere!