You Mark
This page was created for friends and family who would like to share their comments, or special letters for Mark.
From: Mom
Markie,
My Markie!!!! I miss you so MUCH!!! If only you knew at
the time how many people care, how many people love you,
how many people this has hurt. Would you still be here?
Did you really, really want to die? Do you realize how often
friends, and members of the family visit you? Why? Was it
really that bad? I have so many questions I wish I could
get answers to. I still don't believe it! I look at your
pictureand I have to tell myself that you are really gone,
but my heart won't let me truly believe it. I go to the
cemetary and look at the stone with your name on it, it's
somebody else's. I know I have to keep trying to convince
myself, because I know it will hit me all at once one day,
and I might not make it through it. While writing this, it
is not a reality. I'm so afraid! What will happen when my heart
realizes the truth? My mind knows, but my heart doesn't.
I worry everyday about losing another child. It scares the
Hell out of me. I get flashbacks, while worrying about your
brothers and sisters. I wish I could climb into a time machine
and try to change it all. It just tears me up to think about
the pain you were in. It just hurts so bad. I know I'll never
get to hold, kiss, play or even yell at you again. What could
we of done differently? We tried Mark, we really did. I don't
know what else we could of done. The one thing I do know,
is that you loved me. Thank you so much for making sure I knew
this, and thank you for trying so hard to make those last few
days special. Those are memories that won't be forgotten. I sure
hope you are finally at peace, no more pain. I love you Mark, and
miss you terribly! I'm looking forward to seeing you again.
I will Alway Love you,
Mom
From: Aunt Mary
Where do I start? What do I say? How can I even
begin to say the things
to you that I should have said to you when you
were here with us?
I guess I want to ask for your forgivness. I
always tried to be there
for others, why wasn't I there for you? Why
didn't I see your pain, feel
your tears, and try to do something about it?
Maybe, you wouldn't have
responded to my attempts but, now I will never
know will I??? I never
gave you the chance did I? I should have known
better. I should have
reached out. I should have tried. I should have
had open eyes to you and
your situation. I know that it was your decision
and that I'm not
responsible for your choice. But, I am
responsible for not trying, not
reaching out to you. God has heard my requests
for forgivness. I
remember our last words, I was teasing you,
playing, and joking. Why
didn't I realize what was going on and speak of
something more
signifigant the ONLY one who would have made the
difference in your life
if you would have given Him the chance??? I think
I know why, and I'm
very sorry. You see, I was always consumed with
the pain your parents
were going through. I hated to see them hurt so
much. I couldn't stand
to see them get their hopes up and then watch
them have their hearts
crushed all over again. I identified with them so
much because I was
going through the same thing. This is by no means
an excuse. There is no
excuse for me not reaching out to you. There is
no excuse for me not
being able to see that if they were hurting so
much then how much did
that mean you were hurting??? I like everyone
else wish that I had a
second chance. I wish that this wasn't so final.
I wonder if you really
realized how final your decision was. I wonder if
you thought "would
anyone care"? Well, I sure hope that now you can
see that we did care,
all of us did. I hope that you now know how much
we all loved you. I'm
sorry that you didn't stay here with us. You were
at the begining of
your life. You could have had the best of
everything. Only if you got
past that horrible age, the pressures that you
were feeling, then things
would have been much different for you. I
remember that age, I remember
the emotions, the turmoil, and the fear. I wish I
would have identified
with you, again I wish I would have helped. My
only hope now is that we
will all learn something out of this tragedy. I
hope that we all learn
the signifigance of each others in our lives,
that we all would live
each and every day as though it were our last.
That we would reach out
to everyone and truly put effort into each others
lives.
It has only been a year. It still seems like
yesterday, and then at
other times it is really hard to believe that it
is true. I wish you
were still here. I miss your smile, and I miss
the way you used to blush
when I'd tease you. I also miss the completness
that all of our family
used to feel. You have truly left a huge void in
our lives. We only have
memories now. I wish we still had you.
Love
always,
Aunt Mary
From: Aunt Nancy
Dearest Elaine:
I wish that we lived closer, and
that we could have been closer over the years. I always
thought that my brother was very blessed to have you for
his wife, and all of your children are blessed to have you
for their mother. This is a lovely page and a wonderful
memorial to Mark. I have the sweet memories of Mark and
Shawn and Tricia when they were small, going out of their
way when I would be visiting, to give me small trinkets
and show their love. I regret that we all haven't been
closer over the years, but I'm thankful to God for the
times we have had together. You all are always in my
prayers.
Love and God Bless,
Nan
From: Sister Becky
Dear Marky,
My lil bo bo, Where do I start..First of all I want to say sorry. I am sorry for
everything. I should have been there, I should never have pushed you away. Everyday that goes by, I
ask myself, Did I push you over your limits? But what I do know is that I there are so many should
haves, could haves, and would haves... if I had the chance again. I remember all the good times you and
I had growing up, like when we used to get on the top bunk and go on adventures like to Australia and
we would pretend we were on a boat..And you would say, where are we going "SIS-SIS"? and I would
say , whereever you want "BO-BO" Those were the greatest adventures I will ever have. Or when you
wanted to change your name to MARCUS and I was the only one who stuck to it and called you that.
How about when you and I partied together the first time!!! We won't go there lil bro k?? :)....That was
fun. I was always unsure about the way you felt about me. Like if you liked hangin out with me and the
last year I could feel that we finally started bonding. From the first time that you asked me to beat your
girlfriend up to the times that me and Shelley had to go look for you!! You know what I am talkin about.
I thank you for giving me the chance finally. I know I didn't deserve it. But when I knew that we were
getting close was when you told all your friends that I was off limits cuz I was your sister. You are such a
sweety. We made it Mark, and it took me a while to realize that you and I were actually friends. That
was the BOMB!!! Wow Mark, I miss you so much. I miss hearing your voice, or looking at your smile,
or just hangin out with you. Mark, I really can't wait to find out what could possibly be so bad, that you
would think that noone would understand. Well when we meet again, I promise that I will listen. You
were my lil bo bo!! No matter how many times you would tell me that you were BARELY my lil bro,
you were!!!! Did you really know how much I loved you, and still love you?? I miss you so much. I want
you to know, that when I was being that pesty big sis, and always lecturing you, I honestly only wanted
the best for you Mark. Or I would never have bothered. You need to know that. And I am sure that you
do.. Sometimes it takes me a while to think that you are really gone, Mark. I found a piece of a paper a
few months back, that you had wrote some number down for me, one that I never called. Mark i
wanted to call it so bad and just pray that you would answer. Well I sleep with it next to me taped to my
night stand, along with your picture and your obituary, and on top of my dresser, I have the picture of
you pooring all of the leftover beer into one bottle, you are such a funny guy Mark, You always could
put a smile on my face regardless of how mad I was at you. On April Fools day, I was laying in a
tanning booth thinking, man, who could be playing a joke on me and is going to break the news to me
today. I got a huge smile and jumped out of the tanning bed and thought for sure that you were going to
come back and say..GOTCHA.IT took me about 30 secs to realize that i was in a fantasy land and it
wasn't going to happen. Well the thought of seeing your face again made my day. Although my heart was
torn apart, it was relieving to think that one day i will see you!! Thank you Mark, my lil bo bo,Marcus,
and most of all MY FRIEND. I love you honey and know that you are watching over all of us. I feel
you.
Love your BIG sis--
whether you like it or not..:)
Becky
From: Dad
Mark,
It's hard to believe
that you are gone. It's been just over a year now, and I still remember
that horrible day. The day when a piece of me was removed forever. Did you
know how much that you were loved by everyone? Did you know how much that I love You?
Did I let you know how much I Love you enough? I ask myself these questions everyday.
How many things could I have have done differently? Would anything have made a difference?
Was there anything that could of changed your mind? Why did you take your own
life? God, I wish I really knew! Right now I can only speculate. I miss you so much. When ever possible I go to
the cemetary and visit you. I think that we picked a very nice spot for you. There's alot
of wildlife. The deer are constantly tearing apart the flower arraingements that have been
placed by who knows who. Seems like everytime we visit there is something new. Soo many people
miss you Mark, if only you knew while you were still alive. Although You weren't my son
by blood, I have always loved you as if you were. I hope that you felt the same way about me.
I miss you so much! I love you so much, and I always will.
I Miss & Love You Son,
Love Always,
Dad
From: Aunt Mary Jo
Mark,
I don't know quite what to say. Markie I never really got to know because they had moved
away from the Detroit area and I had a hard time getting up there to visit them. The time I did spend with
the whole family was always a great time and pleace to be there was so much love all around. There was
never a time that you could not call or go over and not feel welcomed by the whold family. Bob was very
lucky to have found a lady as wonderful as Elaine he always deserved the best. Not that his first wife isn't a
lovely person and I love her as much as Elaine to this day it just didn't work out between the two of them
which so often happens in this day and age. Well anyway Markie will always be loved within our hearts
and never will be forgotten. I myself am going through a rough time with my son Billy he is at that age
where nothing I seem to do is ok with him. I just hope that we can work things out before something
happens here. I really have to praise Elaine and Bob for coming through this whole thing it has to be very
rough. I myself am having a rough time with it and if it was my son I don't beleive that I could go on with
life as it is known now. Well enough I really just wanted to say that I am sorry that I didn't get to know you
Markie better then I did I will always remember you as a little boy that played with Billy and had fun all the
time. I can understand to a point how you thought that life was to rough to go on I feel the same way right
now, but I am sorry that you felt the only way out was the way you took. But God and everyone forgives
you and we just hope that you are at peace now. Remember that you will never be forgotten and will
always be loved. God be with you at all times now. We love you always.
Love,
Aunt Mary Jo Teeple
From: Aunt Tena
Well i do not know where to start markie except
that i wish you were
here....we all knew you were having a rough go of
life...and you know that i
would have helped you had you asked..... i love
you so much and i miss you
very much..... if words could bring you back you
would be here in a
heartbeat......i still think about those baggy
pants..... you always knew when
i was there to pull them down... :) honestly it
was just a joke...if it
bothered you i would hope you would have told
me...i remember the times you
would stop by just to say hi....sure wish you
would have done that the day you
were so upset......you have upset some people but
we are trying to get
through..
YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH YOU ARE MISSED.....AND
LOVED......you have made a
void in everyones life.....no more just wanted to
say i love you and miss you
alot.....
love you lots,
AUNT TENA
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{a hug for
you}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
From: Your Cousin Rich
To whomever may read this,
My name is Rich…..I am Marky's cousin. My Aunt Elaine has been asking me for some words of my own…. She has had this web page for over a year now and sends me the address for it every time she
e-mails me. Well, on today, (March 25th of 1999) I have visited the site for the first time… It is a time a care not to relive again…. The day before his Funeral I received a call from my mom in Alabama telling me of the tragedy…. She had told me that nobody from our side of the family would not be able to make the funeral on such short notice…. I was asked if I could have flowers sent and show up on behalf of his father and everyone else on my side of the family…. Well, a very long time ago I had decided that I don't do funerals anymore…. This was back when I lost my papa and I did not like the last memory of him lying there in that casket… I had not been to another funeral since then until this one… they lived 2 hours from me and all I had to do is show up to a funeral and give my respects….(WRONG)…. I was going to a part of the family I had forgotten even existed, I had not even thought about in ages… These people might not even like me because of the family I come from and the way nobody ever kept in touch with them after the divorce… I called my Aunt Elaine the night before for directions and we talked for hours about things… When I arrived the next day, I knocked on the door… A man answered the door and before I could say anything, he said, "I know who you are from your pictures." From the moment he shook my hand I felt a full comfort with him… Everyone welcomed me with open arms from this point on…. We went to the funeral home a little latter , and as I seated my self towards the back I was snatched up and told to get my butt up there with the rest of the family…. This meant so much to me that it made my heart sink to the floor…. I remember wishing that I could have met him and spent time with him, instead of just hearing how great he was…. Next, two of my newly found cousins approached me and asked if I would mind being a pal bearer… I accepted with out hesitation…. It was then when I really realized that I had found a whole new family…. These people were comforting me and helping me to deal with now, I have to give away someone I never really knew at all… This was tearing me up so bad inside that I consider this to be the hardest day of my life…. It was such a cold day that day, but I was so numb on the inside that I could not feel any of the cold that were cutting straight through my cousins… When we finally got Mark to where he now lays for the rest of his days I could not control my feelings inside any longer.. After everyone had gone I found myself as the only one left where I sit next him while I wished so much to know him… My cousins waited patently for me and I could of stayed there all night if they had not came and got me… This was a very bad situation, but mark you gave me something that I did not have before…A whole new family…..I just wish you could have been part of it with me… Thank-you Marky….. and thank-you to the rest of the family and friends that took me in and made me feel like I belonged….
Rich………………..
From: Your Cousin Susan
Mark,
Hey, I love you and miss you, so much. I can't believe you did this to yourself. I don't know why you did it or what made you do it. 
It was so stupid. What could of hurt you so bad that it had to result in this. Nothing I believe. We'll never know! We all still love you Mark, everybody does. Well, anyways, I still love you.
Hey, remember that time when you and Boper were sitting on the porch, and you were holding the door shut, so I couldn't get out, and I smacked my head against the door, or remember when you pierced your eyebrow at Grandma's house with a safety pin? Those were the good old days that I and hopefully you remember for awhile. I still replay these in my mind, and will always remember them. And though you are not in my day to day living, you're in my day to day Love.
Love,
Susan
From: Your Aunt Gina
Mark,
I hope that you have found the peace you have been in search of. I love you, Mark and truly miss you. Maybe I didn't show you enough that I care and that I've always been here for you.
That is something I'll never forgive myself for, at least till I see you again, and can tell you to your face. Mark, you are a special person and one of Gods children. Now you are one of Gods Angels.
I wish we could go back in time, to the point where you made the decision to leave us all, and you could see and believe how much we all love you and cared about what was going on with you.
when you felt lost we all felt lost, when you felt confused we were all confused. You are a part of us.
Mark, the only good thing that came out of your decision to leave us is, that's with Gods help, I know that you have found peace. The peace you so badly need. There will be an empty place in all of our hearts, that was only yours. It will stay empty because noone can ever take your place because you are "Mark".
I love you Markie, and will be together again someday.
I Love You,
Aunt Gina
From: Grandma & Grandpa
Punkin, (Mark),
I have so much to say to you, it's hard to figure out where to begin. One of the brightest lights in my life blinked out when you left.
I have other beloved Grandchildren but to me you were a package deal. The package is no longer complete. There is a big hole in it. We were almost as excited as your mother when you were born and we brought you here to our house, and our hearts. You were a good baby, and you've always been a kind and generous soul, with a loving heart and personality. What went wrong, Punkin? Why were you in so much pain that you figured this was the only solution? We are all left with no answers. We were here. Why didn't you communicate your miseries? You were so worth so much more than this. You were funny, compassionate and sweet. I remember the summer you were here with your cousins. How we would stay up late and talk and try to figure out a place for everyone to bed down. You fella's took all my pens apart and made pea shooters and shot popcorn kernels all over. Raid the refrigerator and hide the evidence. When you would walk through the house with your baggy pants, and I'd tell you…"Mark, pull up your drawers!" You'd yank them way up and walk like Erkel! I MISS YOU PUNKIN. Why did you leave us? I have one question for you; you're going to have to answer. If you had gone on that trip with us, would you still be here, or would it have just postponed what you did? I'll have to wait for that answer till we meet in the sweet by and by on that beautiful shore. Until then, you have left with us a load of guilt and regrets. You can bet when we meet again you've got some accounting to do to me. I love you and feel a terrible loss when I'm thinking of you. Don't get me wrong. You were no saint, just a normal everyday human being. Maybe that's why we love you so much. You were an important and vital part of the family you left.
I'll see you over there.
Love from,
Grandma & Grandpa
more to come....
