Spyro 2: Ripto's Rage

This review would not be possible without the help of my dear friend Justice. She gave me Spyro 2 for Christmas, and I can't thank her enough. Thus, Thank You Justice! This review is for you.

Overall: Just as good as the original, if not better! A beautiful little follow-up, with the same magic and whimsy served by the bowlful. The enemies are maybe a tad harder, and the extended cartoon-y scenes get on ones nerves after a bit, but an excellent, excellent game nevertheless. In fact, I only found one flaw: GET RID OF THE CHEETAH! I hated "Hunter", he was the most irritating part of the game. He spoke so slowly, he sounded like Mr. Rogers on a horse tranquilizer, and he had the most annoying accent. Remember the old cartoons, with the fat animal-retardo character that would do the, "Duh, I'm bringing home a baby bumblebee" and "I'm gonna love him and squeeze him and name him George"? Well, I never liked those cartoons to begin with, and he sounded exactly like that. I wanted to throw the controller at the screen. Ai-ya...

Sound System: Exactly like the first Spyro. In fact, except for the plot change and style, the whole game was nearly a carbon copy of the first. The graphics, sound affects, and character voices were all the same. Plus, as an added bummer, they hardly let Spyro say a word. At least in the old one he'd say stuff whenever he rescued a dragon. But in this game he hardly said anything until after he beat a major level.

Plot: Fresh from his victory over Gnasty Gnorc in the previous game, Spyro and his little dragonfly buddy Sparx decide to catch a few rays at Dragon Shores. But before he's even packed his bags, he finds himself whisked to the magical land (ALL the lands in this game are magical; they have talking pelicans and flying monkeys and giant walking eggs and lotsa weird shit like that) of Avalar. Turns out Avalar is being threatened by the great Ripto (who's actually as big a Spyro), and the Professor created a magical (see?) portal with "orb" power to rustle up a big, mean dragon and scare off Ripto. So they wind up with Spyro (yeah, the irony's killing me, too), who is subsequently assigned to collect as many orbs as possible, plus talismans in the beginning of the game, and so the adventure begins!

Abilities: Spyro gets quite a few more nifty moves than in the previous one, the most noteable (and useful) being swimming. You may remember in the last game he was a tad hydrophobic? Well, that's a thing of the past; Spyro's earned his water wings, so to speak, and become a regular sea monkey. Whether diving or dog-paddling, this little mud puppy's quite at home beneath the waves. "I'd like to be...under the sea...in an octopus's garden...with you!" Another added ability is climbing, which, trust me, you will have to pay an arm and a leg for. In fact, you pay for all the abilities, courtesy of a well-heeled bear named Moneybags, who kinda reminds me of Q, from the old James Bond films. And he makes you pay through the nose. Among the abilities he charges for are: climbing, swimming, and last but not least, the head bash, for which I believe he gets a condo by the sea. Also you can swallow and spit little items, to kill enemies, play target games, and just screw around and waste time with. Fun, eh?

Difficulty: Quite a bit harder than the last game, mostly because it's so much more time-consuming, courtsey of all the games you play, to get orbs. Plus, Ripto's a certified pain in the ass, because after you defeat him the first time (this preview comes courtesy of Pottery Sally, because although I own the games, she plays them) he climbs on a giant dinosaur named I think Crush (although I'm not sure of this, so feel free to write long hostile e-mails in snotty tones), who happens to have (why not?) nuclear devices stored on his back, so Ripto tries to kill you that way as well. And just after you beat Crash (or whatever the hell it is), and are just sighing in relief, the ground turns into lava, Ripto climbs on the back of (why not?) a giant pterodactyl, so you have to fly after him (extended flight in here is just like the flight levels in the first game), and breathe fire at him while he's throwing nuclear missles at you. Bewdy! Did I mention this game is a LOT more violent that the original? Almost to the point of disturbing: things get blown up, Ripto threatens to kill fairies, and mice get crushed with lava rocks. Fun stuff!

Final Review: I'm gonna give it a Slash, despite the numerous defects, nits, and plain old flaws in the game. It's just so much fun, it's easy to overlook the faults that are RAMPANT in this game. It's just a fun little kid's game, and so despite its MANY MANY EXTREMELY ANNOYING FAULTS THAT I CAN'T BELIEVE THE CREATORS OVERLOOKED, I still think it's an excellent game.

EXTREE EXTREE! I'm including my opinions of the various characters and voices in Spyro 2: Ripto's Rage. Enjoy the hot-buttered fruits of my labor, and have a lovely Tuesday.

Spyro: Our Tiny Hero, alias the Flying Purple Gnorc-Eater. He's so cute! The little gold horns, the wee purple wings, the tiny itty-bitty claws...awww! The things he says are sometimes eye-rollingly cliched, but we can forgive him that.

Sparx: Every hero needs a sidekick. This micro-machine with wings and heart of gold fits the bill perfectly. Loyal to the end, he informs Spyro of how many health levels he has left, and how soon he's gonna kick the bucket.

Elora: A bizarre amalgam of wood-creature and Valley-Girl, this red-headed she-faun pops up from time to time to organize Spyro and lead him to the next level. In a clear, crisp young voice (she sounds about eleven), she directs Our Hero to whenever he needs to go.

Hunter: Now, this is the one part of the game I truly hate; this is my own personal Jar-Jar Binks. THIS IS THE MOST ANNOYING CHARACTER IN THE HISTORY OF VIDEO GAMES! His traits I mentioned above, I truly do NOT want to go through them again. He allegedly serves the purpose in the game of testing your athletic ability, but he hardly lifts a finger himself. What REALLY gets me is his voice. Grrrr...

Professor: The guy who built the portal and is responsible for all this shit, he tests your mental aptitude with puzzles, brain-teasers and other "mind games".

Moneybags: A fat little bear with an upper-class facade and a heavy wallet, he gives you abilities, opens portals, builds bridges, and rents out things for "...Ahem, a small fee?" A necessary evil in the game; there are just some things you need, and only he supplies...oh, that sounds nasty!

Zoe: An omnipresent fairy with an endless supply of hints, this is one little midge you'll be glad to have on your side. In addition to giving free tips (as opposed to Moneybag's little entrepreneurship), she performs an invaluable service: she saves the game, and often your sanity.

Ripto: Some sort of nasty creature with a big mouth and a bigger temper. He hates fairies, hates dragons, and REALLY hates Spyro in particular. The end boss of the whole game, and a true pain in the ass to beat, considering he's only 14 inches tall. Or at least seems that way. Suffice to say, he's really, really teeny. But just don't mention his height!