Up-To-Date, Opinion-Laden F1 Reports!!!
Being an avid F1 fan, I thought I'd throw my feelings on Formula One onto my webpage. Please understand- there is little or no fact in any of my posts on the races, only my personal feelings based on my limited knowledge of the sport and my belief that everyone is out to get the man I root for, the world's greatest driver, Michael Schumacher. Anyway, enjoy or not. Up to you...
Commentaries, race by race...
- Australia: Although I remain convinced that Mika pulled away slowly to try and get Schumi to stall, I am still pleased with the result. When both Merc-McLaren boys hobbled into the garage I was jumping up-and-down with glee. Of course, Michael was in 22nd position at the time... After an incredible drive, he was prepared to take the lead (from 12th position, but still) when debris, thrown deliberately on the track by Heinz Harald Frentzen, ruptured one of his tires. Where any other driver would have thrown up his hands in disgust and driven straight into a tire wall, Schumacher bravely nursed his crippled stallion into the pits for a new tire (albeit one with grooves- what a sad sight). After going out again, Schumacher made an extra pitstop and an extra drive through the pits. His claim of steering wheel failure doesn't mask the fact that he knew he would be on Eddie Irvine's tail in a few laps, and could take from the Irishman his first F1 race victory. Instead, Schumacher gallantly put a few extra seconds between himself and the front-running Irvine to allow fast Eddie to pull off the win. What a show of sportsmanship! Schumi is obviously looking forward to a real battle with McLaren, and did not want to jump to what would be an insurmountable 10 point lead by winning at Australia...
- Brazil: I usually check the weather at the race venue a few days in advance, but forgot to do that earlier. I, along with the vast majority of Schumi / Ferrari fans prayed for rain, but it was not to be. When DC stalled the McLaren at the start, I was dancing around the family room! Later, when Mika's gearbox went out, I was jumping for joy again, although that would be short-lived. Once again pit strategy prevailed, and Mc/Merc, taking a page from the Schumi School of Butt-Kicking Strategies, won the day. However... what's that I see on the horizon? Schumi and Ferrari taking a commanding lead of the championship in just a handful of races? McLaren cars dropping out of every race faster than Monica Lewinsky dropping to her knees in the Oval Office?
- Imola: After qualifying, I was convinced that Schumacher had a strong chance. While he remained behind the two Mclarens, the time interval was insignificant. Then the race started, Mikka went blasting away like everyone else had a couple of fat guys in the back seat, and my heart sank. Still, Schumi stayed close behind Coulthard, suggesting a closer finish than most. Then it happened- Mikka blew it! He just completely tanked! What a moron! Hey, all of you who think he is a better driver than Schumacher- PHTPHTPHTPHTPHTPHT!!! Once again I was jumping up and down. Then Schumi heads into the pits for his quick shot of fuel... David is wailing around the track for all he's worth (about $3.80 after that race), and promptly gets stuck behind two other cars as Schumacher pops out of the pits and reenters in the lead! The tifosi goes wild! It was mayhem at Imola, as Ferrari wins their first race at their home track in sixteen years. All I can say is, see ya in Monte Carlo, and bring it on, McLaren. That knot in your stomach ain't from the cannolis...
- Monte Carlo, the Jewel of the F1 Season: For the first time this season, I didn't regret having gotten up at the crack of dawn on a Saturday to watch qualifying. Wow! What excitement! What a rush! As much as I root for Michael, I still appreciate a great drive by another driver, and Mikka's seat-of-pants, time-expired, pants-dancing-with-figs final run was awesome! It set the stage for what would be a damn good start to the race. Here, in the order received, are the thoughts running through my head at the start of the Grand Prix: 1) Schumi, please don't stall it on the warmup lap! [he doesn't] 2) Schumi, please don't jump the start! [he doesn't] 3) Schumi, please get ahead of Hakkinen! [he does] 4) Mikka, please don't ram into Schumacher! [he doesn't] 5) HEDIDIT! HEDIDIT! HEDIDIT! [he did] 6) Oh God, someone is gonna crash in the back, the red flags will come out, and there will be a restart! [didn't happen] 7. Schumi is going to WIN! [happened] So, what more is there to say? On what is argueably the most spectacular racing circuit in the world, Schumi scores his 16th win for Ferrari, a new record. Eddie Irvine follows Michael's brilliant drive with a great one of his own, and Mikka pulls in a dejected third. Did you see him at the press conference when they asked him whether he felt the championship slipping away? He looked more shaken than a kid with a British Au Pair! Did I mention that DC went out with car problems? I've seen '72 Chevy Novas that blow less smoke! Anyway, Schumi has handily taken control of the season, and I am wondering whether there is any benefit to watching the rest of the season (except to jeer whenever a Ford engine blows up). Who am I kidding? See ya in Spain in two weeks...
- Spain: Jacques Villeneuve is the antichrist! Actually, I commend Jacques for taking advantage of Coulthard's blatant blocking techniques. I also blame Eddie Irvine for what was probably the lousiest start in his F1 career, on a day when a good start was really, really necessary (notice how Carsten carefully prepares Eddie to take the fall if Schumi doesn't win the championship...). Overall, I'm not disappointed with the result. Michael is still in the points lead and was not really that far off the pace of the M&Ms. Next up is Canada, where Schumi will also face tough competition from M&M on a low-downforce track. Since I am not going this year (sniff, sniff), the rest of you Schumi fans will need to root extra hard for Schumacher to make up for my absence. Go, Michael!
- Canada: I blame myself. I really do. Not only was I not in attendance this year, I didn't even get to watch it live! I was out of town at a funeral and didn't have access to Speedvision or CBET. I got home late Sunday, didn't watch ANY television for fear of finding out what happened in the race, since I was planning on watching it
Further race commentaries...
- France: What a race! Sofar, this has been the race of the year! For us Schumi fans, the outcome was terrible, since Michael had this race easily in hand when mechanical problems reared their ugly heads again. I have also figured out Hakkinen. He is like the flu. Every time you think you've got it licked, it comes back... I give credit where credit is due, and Hakkinen drove very well. Michael is still the king of the wet (when his car isn't giving him fits), and this race was BY FAR the most entertaining of the year. I especially enjoyed Michael's battles with Barichello and brother Ralf. Damn good racing, boys! And who was involved in the only collision of the race? Why, Damon Hill, of course. The Titanic had better luck than Damon has had this season. Perhaps it is a good thing he is retiring. This way DC can be crowned as the bad-luck champ and regain the title.
- England A sad, sad day in the racing community, my friends. For those of you who are Michael Schumacher fans, that is self-explanitory. However, for those of you who are not Schumi fans, it is still a sad day. Why? Because the outcome of the next three races has a good chance of Mac-Merc one-twos across the board (bored?). Anyway, it is certainly a crushing blow for Michael and Ferrari, and lays the burden squarely on Eddie Irvine's shoulders to keep Ferrari in the running for the constructor's cup. We'll see you in two weeks in Austria!
- Austria Michael must be kicking himself (with his right foot, of course), because of the accident. I mean, what an easy victory for him this race would have been! Who would have thought Coulthard would ram his own teammate? Okay, stranger things have happened (even to David) in F1. The only low point for me (besides Schumi not being there to take an easy win) was Eddie Irvine's attitude. First, he completely sticks his foot in his mouth with that comment on Michael being his #2 when he returns (right after monkeys start shooting out of my ass, Eddie), then he acts like he's king of the world because he won. Too bad it took the Mclarens RUNNING INTO EACH OTHER...
- Germany If only... If only Michael would not have had a brake problem in England! The season would be pretty much HIS already! The Ferraris are running reliably, Coulthard is a non-entity, and Mikka has enough reliability problems to make General Motors look like a team of microsurgeons! The award for best racing goes to Mika Salo, who has gone from
Yet even more useless commentary...
- Hungary Can Eddie Irvine stick his foot any further in his mouth? The answer to this question came last week, when Eddie admitted that Michael Schumacher was a better driver, but one that made
- Belgium Wow! What a race! Unbelieveable! Did you see that amazing blast at the start to the first corner by ... oh, wait, that was a different race. But what about that brilliant pass for the lead by... oops, sorry, that was a different race, too. Still there was that dicey duel by... oops, that was two weeks ago. Hey, that was a really horrific crash by... hmmm, wrong again. Okay, so there really wasn't anything noteworthy this week, except that Eddie Irvine didn't say anything stupid. I guess that's something out of the ordinary. Also, this is the first F1 race where I got to find out what is showing on the other channels at 8:30 on a Sunday morning. Some pretty boring stuff, to be sure, but not as boring as the F1 race. I knew this was the most predictable race of the year when I found myself flipping back to an ELECTRIC ROTISSERIE INFOMERCIAL every few minutes! Every single F1 fan, whether they adore Michael Schumacher or hate him, should be ON THEIR KNEES praying he is ready for Italy. Otherwise the rest of this season will be as predictable as an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie...
- Italy Once again, I got up in the middle of the night (for a Saturday morning) to watch qualifying. Once again, I got up in the middle of the night (for a Sunday morning) to watch an F1 race. I could lie and say the race was boring, but it was not. Instead, I was actually pleased with all the passing, the duels in the pits, and the unexpected results. Of course, the Moment Of The Race was when Mika Hakkinnen went off-road. I could almost hear him yelling
- Europe This was the most interesting and exciting F1 weekend this season. The ironic thing is, had Michael Schumacher been present, it would have been quite boring, instead, with Michael handily outdriving everyone in the rain. Qualifying was a rush, the race was a blast. I am still somewhat confused with Ferrari's pit stop strategy- someone please explain why an Italian reporter had to point out to the team where Eddie's fourth tire was! I think the highlight of the whole race was the fact that Minardi scored their first championship point in four years! It is a great end to the European leg of the F1 season for them, and I expect to see Marc Gene on the podium before the season is over ;^)...
- Malaysia Crazy, you say? Crazy for thinking Schumi is the world's greatest driver? Crazy for thinking his return with two races to go means something? Crazy for staying up until the middle of the night just to watch Formula One? I say, NEVER! And to punctuate my response, Schumi made one of the best runs of the year, proving that he would have had the championship wrapped up several races ago if not for the sabotage to his car by McLaren ;~) . Qualifying was fantastic, not just seeing him behind the wheel again, but experiencing his skill, fortitude, and complete dominance of the better equipped McLaren boys. The race? A work of tactical wizardry. Thanks to Schumi, Ferrari is poised to win not only the constructor's championship, but the driver's championship as well. This once again shows that Michael Schumacher is a driver that will find a secure place in the history books as one of the greatest drivers to ever get behind the wheel.
...Oh yeah, I almost forgot- Eddie Irvine won the race.
- Japan Well, it's over. MH drove a spectacular race, and deserves the victory and the championship. Eddie Irvine looked pretty pathetic on his "home track", while Michael drove his usual, excellent style. Coulthard also did not disappoint, fulfilling everyone's expectations by running his car off the road YET AGAIN. Still McLaren adds yet another world champion to their list. I think it was a pretty exciting season. The dominant team was plagued by technical problems and driver error, Ferrari put together a package so reliable it is the envy of every other team (Irvine completed 98% of all the race laps this season!), and even Schumi's crash didn't dull the racing for me. As a matter of fact, if Schumacher hadn't crashed, it would have been a really boring season, with him winning a whole bunch of races and the championship a long time ago. Heck, Schumi dropping out was almost a bless- wait, WHAT AM I SAYING????
See you all next season!!!
