The usual quotes, snippets, ramblings, etc of a student/buffy addict/woman/slacker

Be sure to check out the livejournal for other juicy tidbits.

Exactly what it says.

Everything you didn't want to know.

Rants and artwork.

Summer 2001
My trip to Austria, Scotland and Ireland, summer 2001.

Again with the duh factor.

Where old posts go to die.

Requiste Tori Page
For the sheer amusment value.

Blogs and live journals I read regularly

Handbasket Emporium
Sarah T.'s Help in a Loud Voice
Neil Gaiman's blog
Te's Rage Coalescence
Melymbrosia's LJ
Time for Your Meds
Goddess of Yaoi
Greasy Peso
I Shoot With My Mind
Rhiannon Shaw
Spyke's LJ
Mad Poetess
militant apathy
Jonquil's Rosemary for Remembrance
Avarice's journal
Satyrix's LJ
JuliaL's journal
Covielle's LJ
Victory Blog
Death Peach

Currently reading:
Blood Price, Tanya Huff

Magic's Price, Mercedes Lackey

The Chronicles of Chronos, Pythia

The Line War series, Rhiannon Shaw

Current wallpaper:

Listening to:
WKLQ and WTHS when I hit my radio just right

Strange Little Girls, Boys for Pele, and From the Choirgirl Hotel, Tori Amos

Dilate, Ani DiFranco

Boy Meets Boy

i'm a dork.

The Weather in Hell

[my halo's held up by my horns]


IM: DameHattie

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Saturday, November 03, 2001
If you are interested in Simpsons episodes, my brother has a buckload posted here.

Gods. Hello lower stress level. Until tomorrow's meeting rolls around. That's going to fucking suck.


parent's Brunch went rather well. There were some things that were supposed to show up that didn't, and that pissed me off, but I was trying to get everything taken care of and telling people what to do, and making sure that things got to the bake sale. But everything worked out. The parents seemed to have a good time, and if not, fuck them, they got free food. Then my mom and I went shopping. Funny thing. She's like "I'll buy you a couple of pairs of shoes." So I find a pair of Doc Martins on sale at Yonkers for $50 (hell yeah!) and somehow I end up putting them on my Yonkers card. Then I don't find any dress shoes that I like. My mom finds a teacher's clothes store and spend a bunch of money there. We wander around the mall a bit, but the only other thing that I find that I want are a pair of black fishnet gloves that were on sale for $2 at Spencers. Okay, whatever, she says she'll pay the Yonkers bill when it comes to the house. Then we go out to dinner. I say what about Til Midnight, the sorta gourmet restaraunt in Holland that kicks ass, which is sorta expensive. However, I didn't quite know how expensive, as I'd only ever been there for lunch. Entre's are ~$24 a piece. My mom only has $40 in cash on her. So I ended up pay for dinner. I found it amusing. But she gave me ten bucks so me and Jessica got coffee in between the songs at Nykerk. Overall, that part was good.

Then came Nykerk. Five of my sisters and I were ushering and passing out programs. Mainly passing out programs. The lobby was freezing! Especially since I was there in my dress clothes. It took about half an hour for my hands to warm up enough to type when I got home. Anyway, me and Jess went out for coffee, did some catching up since she was out of the state all week on med school interviews. Then we went back to hear the even year's song. Usually, the way that it works is that odd year does some sort of 50's, 60's pop piece, and even year does Broadway or big band. This year, even year did "This Little Light of Mine." A fairly religious song, which was complete with kitchy hand movements. I mean, hand movements are a part of Nykerk, but these were *bad*. Lighters out for the end of the song, and teh worst, and in my opinion, the most offensive part of hte song, was when they ended it with a cross made out of upheld lighters. I'm sorry, but that sort of stuff belongs in gospel choir, not Nykerk. Jessica was so very pissed because it just ruined it for her, and she had been a song girl before. Me, I had never even been to a performance before, so I was just eh, but still. Really shitty in my opinion. So I hope that odd year wins. I really can't support that.

The bake sale made almost $100. We ahve so much stuff left over. Send me an address and I'll mail you some for a small donation. Or maybe just because....~_^

I figured out how to get my stereo to work without thumping it! Rah!

I think I need to draw something. Hm.

She's got HUGE....tracts of land

Part two of running around like a madwoman.

Just posting to say that I"m probably not going to be posting much today. Parents' brunch, bake sale, Nykerk, all sorts of fun shit. The people of HOpe need to go to my bake sale.

Or else.

I was having this bizarre dream before the alarm went off where I was at this funeral of the hugely fat Asian guy that apparently was some sorta priest because that was what everyone in my head was calling him. Anyway, there were all these kids there and they all had to watch this guy die, like how we all had to watch a woman give birth in health class. So of course the kids were upset. I talked to one boy that was like "It wasn't scary until they came out and touched him with the 'hurt paddles' [defibrulator]." I tried to say that I would keep him from ever seeing somethign like that again, and he gets all wise on me, saying "Well, then you should take that scene out of [some movie]" and some other stuff. IT really bothered me. Then, for some reason (and this is truly strange) it seemed to be an episode of the Real World too, one that I was in. It was like an intro ep where I was saying stuff like I'm pretty much straight and it would take a very special woman for me to be interested that way, and random stuff like that. I played all sorts of random jokes on people. Then, there was a transition back to somethign like the earlier part of the dream with the kid. He was with his dad who had made him a sled (or go cart or something) out of wood from "that anthrax place."

Alarm rings, I get up. That was odd, even for me.

Okay, need to get my shit together and start on the house and preping. Bah.

< silly mode>

Hey you.

Yeah, you over there.

You suck.


< /silly mode>

Soooo tired. Must sleep. Must stop primping the house. Must wait til morning because I"ll have help.

I think I"m going to die.

Friday, November 02, 2001
I think I shall post regular updates on the state of my chair bruise:

Today's will be called Mature Bruise #1, an irregular rectangle of dark plum and bright turquoise in striations.

Apparently when I was out Tuesday night, one of my sisters came over to drop off late dues. As it was over $50, she wanted to put it somewhere that wasn't very obvious, so she went to stick it in my top draw. Now, I have a single, so I don't bother really hiding anything anymore. She opens to drawer to find one of the more...anatomically correct vibrators that I have. It's blue. *grin* She just gives the money to one of my housemates and buggers off. Last night she came over to watch ER and proceeds to harass me about it all evening (this after I've had a few). Personally, I think she's jealous and missing out. Birthday present! The best part was when she was trying to be witty while leaving.

Her parting shot was "Have fun with your blue thing tonight!"

Mine: "I'll think of you!"

That shut her up. *snicker*

Well, it's time to get something to eat and go fail my Greek quiz. I finally got around to my vocab, but I still don't know the verb endings. I wonder if I should just skip class. Nah, because we're starting a completely new thing. Oh well. I still kick ass at Greek. we had to translate a paragraph in class and two sentences into it, I knew it was a "frogger" type story. "Two frogs were friends. One lived in a beautiful marsh, the other in the little water in the road [read:puddle]" Riiight.

Thursday, November 01, 2001
Ah. booooooze.

And baking!

The next person to visit my page after this post will be the 1000th visitor to my blog since August 21, 2001. That's pretty fecking cool.

"It's his gift," Jason put in sagely. "He can hear a naked woman from yards away."

Well, this was going to be an LJ post, but it's annoying the fuck outta me so screw them.

My legs hurt. I've been paying the price for my poor choice in footware since Tuesday. And I then I was on my feet for the last couple of hours in lab. Ow, ow ow. I can handle walking forever, but just standing is very hard on my knees and shins.

To follow up the bruise story, it's finally coming up to the surface. It's a lovely mottled dark purple like you get on bruises in areas of high fat content, and about as big as my palm right now. I wonder how it will look tomorrow?

I have to do some major baking tonight. I'm doing scones, biscotti and maybe brownies. I need to go to meijers and get supplies. But I"m oging to be off my feet for the next hour or so. Where is my advil?

I"m listening to Dragula right now (Rob Zombie) and it always reminds me of one of my favorite fanfics by Saber Shadowkitten, "Ghost of a Chance." It's one of the really squishy stories that I just love. *mwah!*

Blarg. I distinctly dislike mornings. Having to work at 8:30 when I don't ahve class til 11 the rest of the week is not of the fun. I suppose I should get on that getting dressed thing.

< whine> I don't wanna get up and go to work in the morning. < /whine >

There's a lovely picture of my brother boozing it up on the "owner" page. Must be nice. I need to buy some more amaretto.

Wednesday, October 31, 2001
Cooking experiment for hte night (which did not involve anything interesting for Halloween as I ended up taking a three hour nap in the early evening and the watched Special Unit 2. I watch so much bad tv...):

I made waffles. Not so much an experiment, I realize. I wanted to make pancakes but I didn't have enough eggs. I was sick of having jelly on my waffles (I'm not so much a fan of maple syrup) so I tried to make another sorta sauce using cinnamon. I melted some butter, dowsed it with cinnamon and melted in a bunch of brown sugar. It ended up alright, but hte sugar recrystallized out as it cooled. I'm wondering what else I could do with it. I"m wondering if I had let it boil longer if it would have become more like carmel. Isn't that how you make carmel? Melt some sugar in butter and vanilla and boil it for a while? I"m not sure. Anyway, it was fairly tasty, it smelled really good, and it filled my stomach. Overall, fairly sucessful.

Must get off the computer so I can quickly throw together my presentation on SN2 substitution reactions. Fuuuuun.

Couple of other things floating around my head:

My brother has read almost all of Boy Meets Boy. I think I have another convert.


Even though I don't really so much take part in the religions that do this, I want to have a Halloween ceremony tomorrow/tonight/whenever the hell I am. It just feels sorta right and necessary. I just don't know what I would do, or who I would go with. Okay, that's sort of a lie. I have this pull to go down to the beach and start a fire. I want to have a couple of people with, but I don't know that they would go and neither do I know how to ask them.

Fluffyboy called me his electronic conscience and I"m sorta confused. I'm not sure what that means. Am I keeping him honest in his blog? Or am I keeping him from writing certain things because he knows that I read it [complusively]? I've been thinking about that statement all night. I find it interesting.

I mean, there are certain things that I don't write about because of the people that may read them. Although, I could use the friends only function on livejournal to write the things that I"m not writing here because I want to write them down. when I write stuff out in these things, it gives me a starting point for processing what i"m going to do. that's why my posts are usually so rambly, because it's totally stream of consiousness processing. Like this paragraph for example.

I think that I"m going to go wash my face.

Also, I fell over backwards in my chair and ow. I"m bruised.

Words of wisdom from my brother:

I on the other hand, don't mind admitting failure. It doesn't happen often, but I don't mind. Knowing what you can and can't do will help you in life. Take for example the chair thing. Realizing that you can't succeed at sitting in chairs you should get a stool, or a bean bag, thus creating an area for which you can sit and something yu can throw at people without hurting them (the bean bag)
mikev us: or you could abandon the whole idea of chairness, defy gravity and hover
it might do you some good

once you learn how to fly, (ie. throwing yourself at the ground and missing) you could become the best thief in the world

until they brought in tanks

Tuesday, October 30, 2001
AFter searching through the TV guide listings, I discover it has been preempted for a fucking basketball game and will be showing (maybe) at 11. And I say maybe because they just ran a commercial saying that Mad TV would be after the game. Fucking hell. I'm pissed. So I"m going to set the VCR to tape and hopefully I'll catch it, or be back in time to see it. Fucking hell. this pisses me off.

Um, where the FUCK is Buffy?! Elimi-date?! WTF!!!!!!

Argh my feet hurt. I made a poor choice in footwear today. I'm wearing my boots and my feet just weren't up to being on heels for the last three hours. Adn I can't take them off because I have to go work in the stockroom for another two hours. Yippee.

Livejournal is completely offline at the moment. this is why I have the blog. The only time I have to worry is when Angelfire's FTP decides to be retarded or when blogger goes down for updates (which hasn't happened recently). Definately not as many problems as LJ has. I still like the comment system alot though.

Now this is the breakfast of champions: instant rice and brownies.

La la la la la. I"m up early. I don't have anything pressing to do. Perhaps I'll shower. I was going to leave a bunch more messages in July4Good's blog, but I think I"ve annoyed him enough.


"You're doing it all wrong!"

"You've got head pigeon. Get to hte nurse before they spread to the other children!"

That's what I'll do; I'll watch some more Zim.

Yes, this is pretty much the same post as in the LJ. But I wanted it here, too. Much of this will be familar to those three regular readers that I have. *mwah* to all of you. Reesa, I may have to break down and install ICQ because I never ever talk to you anymore. ::tear:: And Fluffyboy, you are just as whacked as I am and you don't even have the excuse of long-time singleness so neener.

Okay, explainations for my fit earlier:

I have been having a really difficult time adjusting to being back in the states and at school. I was the happiest I've been in a very very long time when I was in Europe this summer. Coming back to a full class-load, the stress of being a sorority president, and finding out htat I had been fired was a bit much in itself. Then we get assholes that like to blow things up and I'm doing my own, small, semi-selfish (or so it feels) version of PTSD/severe depression. I"m having a really hard time caring about things at all. No energy, pretty much non-sexual, excessive sleeping, the whole nine.

This means that my work has suffered in all my activities, especially my art. I was very inspired this summer; I was itching to get back to my supplies so that I could create all the things that I saw in my head. However, the stress and depression has basically striped it from me. I've only done one piece that I"m proud of in hte last three months. My design class didn't help because I was spending so much time trying to get the stupid 6th grade-ish assignments done to the prof's insane specs that I wasn't doing anything else. Scuplture--heh. I had a weekend where I was playing mom for drunks at a party, mediator between roommates and handling some indepth pres duties, so I didn't get my mold for my bronze done. this meant that I didn't have a piece to work on for the three weeks that followed so I jsut did nothing. Scuplture fell out of my thoughts so when the iron project came around, I wasn't in the swing of things for it. I missed two important demos by being ill and really didn't ahve any idea what was going on. The iron project was supposed to be due on Halloween. I got into class today and started to lay out my components so that I could start to weld (which I hadn't even tried yet) and I couldn't even see what I was trying to make. I stood there for 20 minutes holding a piece of steel, not knowing what I was going to do with it. It's pretty sad when you can't visualize your own fucking sculpture. At that point, I walked over to the registars' office, saw that I could still withdraw, got the slip, and then dropped the class.

I've never dropped a class before. I've never just given up. I felt like a complete and utter failure. I mean, I was such a good student, and now I can't even pass a fucking art class? It's just not what I do. I'm one of those people that *hates* asking for help, or showing too much weakness (unless I can get something for it. I am also, I am ashamed to admit, one of those women who uses the cute idiot ploy. Sorry, it just works!). I hate admitting that I can't do something. I feel like such a quitter.

the funny thing is that my mom called me this afternoon because she had me on her mind. And she was supportive, saying that sometimes you just have to do that. And it's not like the class was for anything. I was taking it on the off chance that I could get the art major along with the chemistry major, but that's not going to happen. So I have some semi-legit reasons for dropping it. I wasn't happy. I felt uncomfortable with the equipment (and asking the prof for help goes along with the looking like an idiot thing unless I can get something out of it). Basically I was wasting time and materials. But it's still hard.

I am in a better mood. I spent the afternoon reading Hercules fic and then I was on the phone all evening and got invited to a friend's 21st tommorow. Then I made brownies and did my Greek homework. I am amused by how much better Greek homework makes me feel. I wish that I had started taking it sooner so that I could take more classes in it. Anyway, here it is. Hope it all makes sense.

Monday, October 29, 2001
I"m actually comptemplating shaving my legs for hte first time in a year. But I'm just thinkng about it. I doubt I'll actually do it. For one, I don't have any razors....

I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to get out of my room to do my homework. Perhaps I'll go make brownies and then do my work in the kitchen. That's a good idea almost.

Tomorrow is Devil's Night. I feel like I should be watching The Crow.

Halloween, therefore, is coming up. I feel like I should be doing something but I'm probably only going to be sitting here on my ass watching tv like every other night this week.

Welcome to my fit of melodrama. Aren't you impressed?

. "Look, I'm sorry I have to ask this, but I just need to hear you say it. You're not going to...turn evil suddenly and try to take over the world or anything, are you?"

Kheper leaned over to a scroll that lay unrolled next to him and ran one dusty finger down it. "No," he said thoughtfully. "This is going to take up the rest of the day. But I could pencil it in for tomorrow if you really want to insist on it."

Home is where the heart is

Another good thing to know:

This morning we were notified by the FBI that the suspicious-looking envelope delivered to the college's central mailroom on Friday, Oct. 19, and turned over to the law enforcement agency, did NOT contain any dangerous substances. The case regarding this matter has been closed.

We'd like to thank the campus community for its patience while this matter was investigated by the FBI. The college is continuing to take every precaution to protect the welfare of the college community. Department of Public Safety.

I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?

I love when my good mood goes the way of a convicted murderer in Texas.

Hello, ashes of my joy. You look mighty fluffy.

"I'm back from outside now. "

It'd make an interesting lyric or poem thingee. If I had any talent or drive or creativity.

Yes. Bed now.

The way we danced til 3, the way you changed my life, no they can't take that away from me...

I've got a slurpee and combos. Nummy.

My meeting went for two and a half hours. However, I think that we got quite a bit accomplished, which is good. I've sat in on other meetings that long were we didn't get as much done. I felt rather sorry for some people. There is one faction that was getting rather bitchy about attendance and being a bit harsh in my book. So the people they were attacking were who I felt sorry for. I mean they did have some points, and one of the people said that she really feels bad about not attending things, but come on guys. These are your sisters. Chill. And certain bitchy people don't have a leg to stand on. Don't have time to do a sister thing, but have the time to go out clubbing that same night? Whatever.

I feel like I did a good job tonight. I like feeling like I"m on top of things. Tomorow I need to remember to call about the composites. Meep. I'm supposed to be working out tomorrow too. Rah. Not as much sleep for me. Oh well.

I'm making up a file of MP3's for Erica to burn onto CD's for formal. I'm going through my Ella Fitzgerald right now. I don't know how much of it is going to work, but people said they wanted some swing and less booty music. I can do that! And if they don't like all of them, they don't ahve to burn all of them. And some of them make nice slow songs that aren't the same songs as always.

All of the sudden I want a date for formal. Fluffyboy said he'd go, maybe. I thought about asking Matt A. but I"m not sure if he's dating the other Jessica or not. Nobody really seems to know. Anyway, I'd just like someone to dance with. So. Fluffyboy, if you read this, call me or email or leave a message or something. This way I don't have to avoid Emilie's insistance that I ask Drew. heh.

I have too many MP3s that I like, but I doubt other people would think are good dance music. This may take a while.

Sunday, October 28, 2001
She burns friends like a piece of wood
And she's jealous of me because she never could
Hold herself up without a spine
And she'll look me up when she's doing fine

Because the rage it burns like Chinese torture
She's just someone's favourite daughter
Spoilt and ugly as she willingly slaughters
Friends and enemies they're all the same
They'll burn her name
And crush her fame

She'll break a promise as a matter of course
Because she thinks it's fun to have no remorse
She gets what she wants and then walks away
And she doesn't give a fuck what you might say

Because it cuts her up like Irish mortar
Mother's pride is what we taught her
Soiled and petty as we happily taunt her
Friend or enemy we're all to blame

She'll burn us bad
She'll flaunt her flame
She'll make us remember, remember her name

If she sits still like she knows she could
She could win this game and be the queen for good
Save herself up for the cream of the crop
Then she'll look us up when she's ready to stop

Because the rage it burns like Chinese torture
She's just someone's favourite daughter
Spoilt and ugly as she willingly slaughters
Friends and enemies are all that came
To burn her name
Crush her flame
We're all to blame

"Chinese Burn"

I dont' think that I posted this here. I got three pieces of art work accepted into Opus, the school's literary mag.

this one


this one


this one.

Yeah me.

I'm watching Toy Story right now. I've watched so much tv this weekend, it's sorta crazy. Anyway, I"ve never seen the first one before, just the second one. I actually went to see that with the Kappas before I was a member. IT was one of the first things that I did with the whole group. I mean, I was over at the house all the time, but it was just to have dinner with Autumn and Elsholtz. But I'm going to change the channel in the near future so I can watch Andromeda.

Heh heh heh.

I've got a headache right now that's making my teeth hurt and making me very tired. I shouldn't be that tired since I got a decent amount of sleep last night, but I am. And I know that my meeting is going to take for fucking ever tonight. Voting, sanctions, people throwing bitchfits....*sigh* 6 more weeks....