"You-you-you're daughter?" Angie blinked her wide eyes several times.

JC pressed his lips together as he lowered his eyes back to the table.

Angie sat back in her chair, letting out a loud breath. "Wow."

He avoided looking up at her at all costs. "Listen, I'll totally understand if you don't want to see me or talk to me anymore. I know you probably don't need to be dating a single father right now." He spoke slowly and softly, almost as if he spoke too loud, he would break. He needed her to say something… anything….but she didn't.

She sat and studied his face as he continued to blankly stare at his hands. He was surprised when she reached back across the table and squeezed his hand. "JC….JC look at me…please…"

Biting his lower lip, he forced his eyes to finally meet her gaze. He immediately wanted to cast his eyes away again, but something wouldn't let him. It was as if this driving intensity wouldn't let him look away.

The blue pools of his eyes showed her something different than she'd ever seen there before. There was a look of anticipation, a hint of fear, and just a dash of sadness. That look in his eyes made her want to wrap him up in her arms and make all the alarms in his head stop ringing and the panic in his heart disappear. "I would never want to stop seeing you," she said in a gentle, kind-hearted voice.

His previously slumped body straightened upon her words. He released his bottom lip from under his teeth. "Why not?"

She was taken back by his question. "What do you mean 'why not'?"

"I mean…you've got so much going for you. You have a great job that you're always telling me about, you're taking classes to get your degree, you have a bunch of great friends that I can tell mean so much to you…. What do you need me for? What do you need a single father with a lot of emotional baggage and scarring for?"

"I don't *need* you," she ran her fingertips over his face. "I *want* you. I want you to laugh with and make memories with and to cuddle with and beat you at miniature golf…"

A small grin filled his lips as he giggled lightly. "Are you sure?"

"I'm not going to lie to you. It's definitely going to be different dating someone with a child. But it's something that I am willing to give my all to. ……. And besides, if this little girl is anything like her old man, then we should be ok."

****

"Hey Nic," JC called as he entered the house. "Where are you at sweetie?"

Nicole came spurting into the living room. "Dadddyyy!!!!"

"Hey Princess." He scrouched down to her eye level. "There's someone I want you to meet."

The little girl played with a lock of her blond hair as JC motioned for Angie to come in the room. When she came into view, Nikki smiled. "Hey, I know you. You took me to go pottie."

Angie smiled as she crouched next to JC, talking to the little girl. "Yep, that's me."

JC walked into the kitchen, leaving the two girls to talk.

"You my dad's new friend?"

The woman smiled. "Yeah. My name's Angie."

"Him and Uncle Justy talk about you a lot."

Angie raised her eyebrows. "Oh really? What do they say?"

Nikki continued to wrap a loch of hair around her tiny finger. "Uncle Justy says you're bad."

"He says that I'm bad?" she asked, confused as why he would do so.

Nicole nodded. "Yep….when we got ice cream, he pointed at you and told Daddy that you was bad. Did you get in trouble or sumpin'?"

Angie couldn't help but smile at the innocence of the little girl upon realizing what was really meant by Justin's comment. "No, I didn't get in trouble….I think Uncle Justin just made a mistake."

"Oh. You wanna watcha movie with me?"

"Sure…" Angie followed the little girl to the couch. "What are we watching?"

"Beauty and the Beast. It's my favorite."

Angie got an excited look on her face. "Me too."

"I gonna go ask Daddy if I can have popcorn."

"Ok, hurry back. You don't want to miss anything in the movie."

*

"Daddy says he'll bring it to us when it's done." She crawled back up on the couch next to Angie.

"Ok, what's your dad doing in the kitchen?"

"Talkin' to Uncle Chris and Uncle Joey."

As if on cue, JC walked back in the room, holding two glasses and a bowl of popcorn. He sat down on the couch next to his daughter, leaving her between himself and Angie. He handed Angie one of the glasses. "Beauty and the Beast AGAIN?"

"HEY!" the two girls said at the same time. "This is my favorite Disney movie," Angie continued.

JC held his hands up in a defenseless motion. "Sorry…sheesh…"

"So, where are Joey and Chris?"

"What?" JC asked.

She pointed to Nikki. "She told me you were talking to them."

"Oh, they went out the back door."

Angie nodded, accepting his answer. He continued, "I figured that I didn't need to scare you away by introducing you to my friends. They can be a little…..eccentric. Especially Chris."

**

An hour and a half later, Nikki clapped as the movie came to an end. "AGAIN! Can we watch it again?"

"Not tonight Princess. We have to take Angie home now because she's got to work in the morning."

"Oh," the little girl said, disappointed.

Upon seeing the displeased look on Nikki's face, Angie spoke up. "But we can watch again the next time I come over, ok?"

Nicole's eyes lit up. "Promise?"

She made a cross over her heart. "Promise."

**

JC looked back nervously at the car, finding himself once again on Angie's front porch. "She's great, you know?" Angie broke the silence.

"Yeah, she's my life… don't know what I'd do without her." His hand trembled as he held hers. A few moments of utter silence passed. "Why am I like this?" JC wondered aloud.

"Like what?"

"I was so scared to tell you that I had a daughter. I thought once that was done and over with, I'd be ok. But I'm not. I tell you that I have a child, you meet her, you guys thankfully get along great, yet I'm still nervous to kiss for the first time. Why is that?"

Angie smiled softly. "I don't know. But you want to know the only way to get over it?"

"What?"

She stepped closer to him. "To just do it," she whispered against his lips. With great wariness and caution, he brushed his lips lightly over hers. The kiss, as light and short as it was, was the biggest step he had been able to make in the past three years. Not opening his eyes, his lips once again found hers, lingering longer this time. Angie knew that he needed to take this at his own pace, at his own flow. His hands held either side of her face, his thumb ran lightly over her cheek.

When he finally pulled away, he still didn't reopen his eyes. He wanted to live in that moment for just a little while longer. Opening his eyes would only lead him back to reality, a place he didn't want to be.

Part Eight

~*A couple weeks later*~
"Sorry we have to stay here tonight instead of going out," JC said. "I couldn't get a babysitter."

Angie took the glass he'd offered to her and sat down on the couch. "It's ok. I like hanging out here with you. I don't always have to go out, you know?"

"See, that's what I like about you," he placed a kiss on her cheek.

"I hope that's not the only thing," she whispered before her lips met his.

"Ewww!"

They pulled apart and couldn't help but laugh at the disgusted look on Nikki's face as she stood in front of them. Nikki climbed on the couch on the other side of JC, settling in for an evening full of watching TV.

"So, what are we going to watch tonight ladies?" JC asked, grabbing the remote from his daughter's tiny hands.

"Doesn't matter to me."

"How about Friends? Does that sound good?"

"YAY!" The little girl cheered. "I like Friends," she explained to Angie.

*

"I'll be right back," JC headed for the kitchen.

As the show continued to play, Angie noticed Nikki watching her out of the corner of her eye. She turned to the little girl and smiled.

"Is my daddy your boyfriend?" she asked.

Angie opened her mouth to respond, but closed it when she not sure how exactly to answer.

Without a response, Nicole continued to talk. "I got a boyfriend."

Angie faked a look of surprise. "You do?"

Nikki nodded proudly. "Yep."

"Well who is he?"

Nikki smiled and leaned over to whisper her in ear, even though nobody else was in the room. "Uncle Joey."

Angie giggled. "He's your boyfriend?" she played along.

"Yep. We gonna get married."

"Well, promise me that you'll invite me to the wedding."

"Ok."

The girls giggled as the man of the house walked back into the room. "What's so funny?" he asked, sitting back down between them.

"Nothing….just girl talk."

"Girl talk? So in other words, you're keeping secrets from dear old dad?"

The girls looked at each other and laughed. JC watched their exchange and couldn't help but smile. He couldn't believe how great Angie was with Nikki. It was something he was extremely happy about. But still, in the back of his mind, he was afraid to get too close, to become too connected with her. For his sake and his daughter's.

As the show ended, JC stood up, holding his arms out to his daughter. "Come on. Time for bed."

"NO DDAADDYYYYY!!!!!!" she whined. "Can't I please not go to bed yet? Please?"

"No, you've been staying up late a lot lately, so it's time for bed."

"Please?"

"No."

Angie leaned over to Nicole. "You should go to bed now, girls need their beauty sleep."

Almost instantly, she jumped off the couch, taking JC's hand and practically pulling him down the hall. JC laughed at his anxious daughter. "Never thought I'd see you so excited to go to bed."

A few minutes later, he returned, smiling at Angie. "How come the minute you tell her she's going running to bed and I usually have to beg?"

Angie shrugged, smiling back. "Nobody likes listening to their own parents."

He put his arm casually around her . "Come here you." He pulled her closer to him, kissing the top of her head. "I'm so glad that you guys get along well."

She looked up at him. "She's a great little girl. You raised her well."

"Well, I've had a lot of help."

"From her mother?" she asked, not knowing.

A look of pain shot through JC's eyes, his face looked instantly older. "Not exactly. I meant from my mom and dad and the guys and other people. Her mother…."

Angie didn't push the subject at all, seeing how obviously painful it was to him.

"Her mother passed away…. A few years ago…."

"I'm sorry," she said sincerely.

He continued against the lump in his throat. "A car accident," he explained. "Coming home from work real late one night…" he took a deep breath as the salty drops formed in the corners of his eyes. "A drunk driver ran a red light and hit her broadside." He attempted to blink away the tears, but instead forced one over the edge. "They said she died on impact…. I hope they were right…that she didn't suffer…."

She ran her fingertips over his reddened face. SO much made sense now….all the nervousness and apprehension she knew he felt. She wished she could just snap her fingers and make all the pain go away. But instead she did the only thing she knew how to do: she listened. She let him unload on her. Reaching up, she kissed the corner of his eye, kissing away that tear. He couldn't help but shudder at her gentle caring touch. Laying her head on his chest, he ran his fingers for through her hair.

He cried. For the love he lost. For the love he knew he cold gain from the woman in his arms. For the fear that he might not be able to take the chance of ever completely loving again. For the fear that if he couldn't, he may live the rest of his life alone. For the fear of the things that needed to be taught to his daughter, that only a woman who completely loved her as her own could teach. For all these things, he cried.

Part Nine

Angie blinked her eyes a few times against the early morning light that streamed in the room. Opening her eyes completely, they fell upon her hand, covered by JC's, lying in his chest. She recalled the occurrences of the preceding night, and how he cried himself to sleep in her arms. She cautiously shifted her head, careful not to wake him. She stared at the beautiful creature that lie before her, and couldn't help but feel so much for him. She looked over his forehead, creased from years of pain. His eyebrows furrowed in his sleep. The eyelids that acted as a shade for his majestic blue eyes seem to twitch as he dreamed. Her gaze moved to his pouty lips and down his strong jawline. He truly was an angelic heavenly person, both inside and out. He had so much to offer, so much to give and share with the people around him. He took the time to truly care about the people in his life… waited for an answer after asking how they were doing, he'd give you the shirt off his back if you asked him for it. The amazing thing was that he didn't realize just how great he was. He was a magnificent life, one too humble to know it.

She listened to the steady rhythmic breathing and the solid beat of his heart as she laid her head back down on his chest. This was something she could used to. It wasn't just having someone to hold, someone to cry to, someone to love. It was having *this* man to hold, *this* man to cry to, *this* man to love.

Love? What was she saying? She's only known him for a few weeks and she's already thinking love? 'Stop it,' she scolded herself. 'Don't get too attached.' He'd only been in her life for less than month, and already she couldn't picture it without him.

She was scared. Scared to get hurt, to get too attached to him…..to get too attached to the little girl that was the center of his life…. What happens if they do stay in this relationship for a long time and then decide to go their separate ways after two years or so? How could she handle having to say to goodbye to both of them? She wasn't sure she could.

She closed her eyes and fell back asleep, the only sound being the sound of his heart pounding in her ears.

JC stirred slightly as his mind and body began to wake. He felt Angie's weight against his body and couldn't stop the small sleepy smile from forming on his lips. He thought about everything that had happened last, and in the last few weeks. Last night was the first time he'd talked, really talked, about Sharon's death since right after it happened. Once that dam was broken, he couldn't stop the tears from falling from his eyes, he couldn't stop the emotion from over running his mind and pouring out his heart. Everytime he looked into Angie's eyes, he wasn't sure he wanted to stop it. It felt so good to let it all out, to just have someone listen without offering advice and their thoughts on he should get over it and how he should move on. She listened to him. A simple act that generated so much inside of him and meant so much too him. True, he always had people he could talk to….great friends, a loving family… but he couldn't talk and open up to them the way he could with her. And when he looked up into her eyes through his salty tears, and saw tears of her own, something ran through him, this incredible wave of emotion that he couldn't describe. When he asked why she was crying and she simply responded, "Because you are," this knot formed in his stomach, and good knot…one of hunger and need and a soft passion to never let her go. They had grown so close so fast that it scared him. In a matter of weeks, she'd become one of the most important people in his life, second to only his baby girl.

Not wanting to start the day and let the problems of the world back into his life, he closed his eyes and rested his head back against the arm of the couch. He hugged her sleeping body a little closer to his…holding on to more than just the person, holding on to his dreams, his hopes, and his biggest fears.

Part Ten

"This Mother's Day, get your mom something special," the announcer's voice boomed over the commercial.

"Daddy?" Nikki looked up at her father with confused eyes. "How come I don't have a mommy?"

JC shifted unc omfortably in his place on the couch. His eyes moved from his daughter to Angie. He knew that this time would come, but he was hoping that it wouldn't be so soon.

"I'm, um, going to get something to drink," Angie excused herself, leaving him alone with his child.

He pulled Nikki onto his lap as he attempted to begin to explain. "Well Nic, it's not that you don't have a mom, she's just not with us anymore. She had to go away."

"Why did she leave Daddy? Didn't she love me?"

His heart broke at her words. "Of course she loved you sweetie. She loved you so much….so much."

"Then why did she go buh-bye?" she asked innocently.

"She didn't want to, but to she had to. She's in heaven now. Do you know what that means?"

She nodded. "Heaven's the place that people go to when they get sick and need to sleep for a long time."

Josh stared at the young girl, seeing her mother shine through her every single moment. "Well that's where Mommy is, she's in Heaven."

"Oh." She appeared slightly confused. "Daddy?"

"Yeah sweetheart?"

"When does Mommy come back?"

He took a deep breath. "She won't sweetie. Once someone goes to Heaven, they can't come back."

He saw a trace of sadness in her eyes. "But that's ok though, because you have a dad that loves you enough for mommy and daddy. And you have grandmas and grandpas and aunts and ---"

"Uncles?" Her face seemed to light up.

"And lots of uncles that love you very much."

"Does Uncle Joey love me?"

"Of course he does."

She smiled from to ear to ear. "Good. I love him too."

"Oh you do, do you?"

She nodded proudly. "Yeah Dad. And one day me and Uncle JoJo are gonna get married."

He couldn't help but chuckle. "We'll talk about that some other time. So do you understand about your mom now?"

"Yeah, but umm…"

"What is it Nic?"

"Is Angie gonna be my new mommy cuz mine's in Heaven?"

Angie stopped in the hallway before re-entering the living room when she heard Nikki ask the question.

"Well, she's not gonna be your mom."

"Oh." There was a distinct sadness in her voice.

"But that's only because you can only have one mom. Why? Did you want her to be your mom?"

Nikki waited a split second, then answered. "Yeah. I like her. She's cool."

Angie's heart warmed at her words. She couldn't help but be affected by the little girl.

"Well," Angie heard JC say. "If things work out like I hope, she could be like your mom. Would you like that?"

"YEAH!!!!" she said excitedly.

Like he planned? Did he think about their relationship and where it was going just as much as she did? Angie cleared her throat, making her presence known when she walked back into the room. "Daddy-daughter time over?"

"Yeah, come on and sit by us."

"You know what Angie?" Nikki asked as she crawled across the couch and onto Angie's lap. She began playing with a piece of Angie's hair as she spoke. "My daddy says that you gonna be like my mom."

JC blushed as the words left his daughter's mouth.

"He did?" Angie spoke to Nicole.

"Yep."

Angie looked at JC and then back to the toddler on her lap. "You know what? I wouldn't mind being like a mom to you."

JC looked at her, surprised by her words.

"It might be pretty cool," Angie continued. "We could tell secrets and team up on your old man over there." She laughed as she looked at Josh.

He smiled as he watched her interact with Nikki. "Hey, there will be no teaming up on Dad."

The girls looked at each other and laughed. "Yeah there will be," Angie laughed. "Lots of teaming up on him, right Nic?"

Nikki laughed. "Yep!"

Part Eleven

"Ang, can I um, would you," JC took a breath, attempting to calm himself.

She covered his hand with hers. "What's the matter? What is it?"

"Can I ask you a favor?" He had a nervous look on her face.

"Sure," she said softly. "What is it?"

"Would you um, would you go to the cemetery with me?" He spoke softly, afraid that she wouldn't want to.

Angie could see the uneasiness in his eyes when he asked her. "Of course I will, if you want me to."

He exhaled a breath he wasn't aware he'd been holding. "Thank you," he said sincerely. "I've only gone once since she…." A lump formed in his throat.

She ran her fingers down his cheek. "It's ok, you don't have to explain. I'll go with you but, are you sure you want me to go? Are you sure you don't want to go alone?"

"I'd really like for you to go with me."

"That's all you need to say."

~* The Next Day *~
JC took a few deep breaths. He ran his shaking hands over up and down his jean-clad thighs.

Angie looked at him sitting in the passenger's side of the car. Her hands gripped the steering wheel to stop herself from reaching out and pulling him to her, telling him that he didn't have to do this. But she knew that he had to do this, for his own sake, for his daughter's, and in the back of her mind, she knew that he had to do for their relationship's sake as well.

His eyes jerked from the dashboard that he seemed to be concentrating on to her face when she spoke. "Are you ready?" she asked softheartedly.

He nodded.

Angie got out and walked around the car. JC was gripping onto the passenger's door, looking as if he didn't he might fall down, as if his legs would give out on him. She didn't say a word as he stood in front of him. So much emotion was evident on his face. He appeared almost older than he had a moments ago, his eyes looked darker, his lips were pressed tight together, his chest heaved as his breath ran rugged through his entire body, his hands trembled, his knuckles turning white from gripping the door frame so tight.

He forced himself to move one foot in front of the other, feeling as if they had weights tied to them. Every step he took over the green grass was heavy and slow, his eyes were fixated on one place as he moved towards a large headstone. Angie followed hesitantly behind.

When he finally reached his destination, he stared at the writing on the gray tombstone in a blank gaze. Angie stood a few feet back, giving him the space she knew he needed. Dropping to his knees, his quivering fingers traced over the letters of her name.

That's when Angie noticed the date. May 31, 1996. 'Exactly three years ago today. That's why he wanted to come out here,' she thought to herself. She watched his shoulders begin to shake as tears formed in his eyes, running immediately over his reddened cheeks. The wind seemed to sting his tear-stained face as he let out a quiet sob.

"I'm so sorry I haven't been here Sharon," he spoke out loud. "It's just been too hard without you."

Angie took a few steps backward, knowing that he now needed to be alone with his thoughts. She turned and walked slowly back to the car.

"You have no idea how much I miss you still, maybe you do know. You always said that if anything ever happened to you, you'd always watch over me. I still wonder everyday why exactly why you were taken from me, why you had to leave. I guess I'll never really know the answer to that question." He sniffled as the salty drops continued to roll over his smooth skin, wetting his lashes. "Nicole is--she's so beautiful, our little angel. Not a day goes back that I don't look at her and see you in her. Whether it's her laugh or just this look she'll get in her eye, it reminds me of you. She's smart too, so smart. Again, just like her mother. She finally asked about you awhile back, I wasn't sure what to say or how to say it, but she seemed to understand that you couldn't come back, and that you never wanted to leave." He looked up at the gray sullen sky, closing his eyes against it. He pressed his lips tight together, bringing his gaze back to the gray cement block in front of him. "I don't really know why I came here today. I --- I've met someone ---her name's Angie. " He looked over his shoulder to see her leaning against the car. "She's great, I really care about her. Nikki loves her, which is important. I guess I just feel guilty, like I had my one love and I'm not supposed to love anymore. But, I think I'm falling in love with her, and it scares the hell out of me Sharon. I already lost you and I don't know if I'd be able to live if I somehow lost her. After you died, the only thing that kept me going was our daughter, I couldn't let her grow up with neither one of her parents. And now, with Angie, it's as if I have something new to live for, along with Nikki. " He paused, taking ragged breaths. "I guess in a way, I sort of came here to say goodbye to you, to all the pain." He wiped the tears from his cheek, only to replace them with fresh ones. "I want to love again, I want to love Angie. And I know deep inside, that the only way I can do that, to really love her the way she deserves to be loved, is to let go of the pain…. to let go of you." He leaned forward, pressed his shuddering lips against the cool cement. "Goodbye Sharon," he whispered through his tears.

Looking at the stone one last time, he stood up and slowly turned away from it. His gaze met Angie, and he knew in his heart that he did love her, that , along with his daughter, she was now the reason he had for living.

She gave a weak smile as he approached. It felt like someone ripped her heart out when she saw his red eyes.

He surprised her by wrapping her in a tight embrace. She could hear the last remnants of his sobs slowly fade away. He pulled his head back slightly, only enough to place his salt-stained lips upon hers in a kiss that was filled only with love.

As he pulled away, breaking the kiss, he held her face in both of his hands. He looked deep into her green eyes and whispered so softly. "I love you."

Tears formed in her eyes at the sight of the man in front of her. He was going through so much pain, so much emotion, that it was true that he could be confused. But the look that she found in the blue pools of his eyes told her that he wasn't the least bit confused or unsure, that his words did ring true, that he did in fact love her, in every sense of the word. She covered one of his hands with hers as it rested upon her cheek. "I love you too Josh."