**Tell me when I can open my eyes. I don't want to watch you walk out
that door. There's no easy way to get through goodbye. I'd probably try
and talk you into staying once more.**
I walked up the creaky wooden stairs of the house. My feet slowly moved down the hardwood floors of the hall. I reached the entrance way and leaned against the door frame that led to the bedroom. Our bedroom. We had spent so many nights together in this very room, holding on to each other and wanting to never let go. But to me, the other nights outweighed the good ones....the lonely nights I'd spend alone when he was on tour. All by myself. No one to hold. No one to comfort me or dry my tears. No one there to touch when I reached out for him.
I silently watched as he placed the last of his things in a suitcase. He zipped it up and looked around the room. Unaware that I was watching him, JC exhaled a deep breath and wiped a single tear from his cheek. He closed his eyes and hung his head. I slowly stepped out of the doorway and into the room. "You have all your things?" I asked softly breaking the silence. He looked at me, pain evident in his eyes. "Yeah, I think so," he barely said, "I'm going to take this downstairs." He grabbed his suitcase and exited the room.
I sat on the edge of the bed and buried my face in my hands. That look of pain has been in his eyes since the second I told him I wanted to leave. I still love him, but it's just too hard. I need him here. I need more than just five minute phone calls when he has a break. More than seeing him two or three days out of the month. I knew it would be hard when he was gone, he told me that from the beginning. But it's my way more than I ever expected, too much.
** I'll lie and say it's all for the best. Wish you luck and say I have no regrets. But I'm not up to being strong So I'll wait until you're gone. Is it over yet, is it over yet?**
As I quietly moved down the steps, JC came into view. He was leaning against the wall, looking as if he didn't, his legs might give out on him. "I love her so much, " I heard him whisper, "Why is she doing this?" A car horn sounded in the drive way, presumably his cab.
**A taxi's waiting in the driveway for you. You call my name, I guess you're ready to leave. I'd like to help you with a suitcase or two, but I'm afraid I'm gonna wind up down on my knees.**
"Is that your cab?" I asked, already knowing the answer. "Yeah, so then I guess this is it," he said as his voice cracked against the lump in his throat. "I just don't understand why this is it Angie," he had begun to cry. "Why?" he took a step towards me but I backed away from him. I knew that if I felt familiar touch I would cave in and let him stay.
**I should tell you that I want you to go. I really need to spend some time on my own. Smile and say goodbye. So you don't see me dying inside. Is it over yet? Is it over yet?**
"JC, please don't do this," I said. "It's better this way…please."
"I still don't understand. Just please tell me why?" he pleaded through his tears. "I thought you loved me?"
"I do love you, but I can't do this anymore." He stared deep into my green eyes, looking for any answer but finding none.
"If you've ever loved me half as much as I love you, you won't do this. God please don't do this." He was sobbing now. I couldn't look him in the eye any longer. I hung my head and crossed my arms in front of me. He steeped towards me again, but I didn't back away this time. I felt his trembling hands on my arms. My skin burned at his touch. I felt him wrap his arms around me, pulling me closer to him. He sobbed with his face next to mine. "Don't do this," he begged, "Don't tell me goodbye." I took a deep breath as tears ran down my face. "Goodbye JC," I whispered ever so softly in his ear. Slowly, he puled away from me. He placed a delicate kiss on my lips. A kiss goodbye. He turned and walked out of the house. I watched him go, wanting to stop him, wanting to tell him to stay, but I couldn't.
**I should lie and say it's all for the best. Wish you luck and say I have no regrets. But I'm not up to being strong. So, I'll wait until you're gone. Is it over yet? Is it over yet?**
I heard the soft roar of the cab pull out of the driveway. I turned and walked up the stairs and into our room. I walked over to the dresser and stared at the image in the mirror. My tear-streaked cheeks were a bright red. "what did I do?" I said out loud. I looked down at my left hand. My wedding ring. I hesitated before taking it off. Some how I formed the courage to remove it from my finger. I placed it into a small ring box. I tucked it in the dresser drawer along with my dreams.
The End
Lyrics ---- Is It Over yet? By Wynonna Judd
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