Back By Popular Demand...

Bad Enough

i'm feeling kinda sick today...
but yeah...i’m sure it’s nothing,
i know that's what you’d say...
you want everything to be just fine
so I'll look in the mirror & I’ll make myself happy
'cause if I want this bad enough, i’ll find a way to shine.

i think it’s because of you
or maybe because i was up all night crying...
trying to get through all the lies
you keep presenting
me with all these fantasies that will never come true...
and you don’t see the pain in these gray eyes.

just know you’ve got me trapped in love’s forsaken prison
my body is weak, my heart is tired,
but my soul is risen!
and if i want this bad enough i’ll hurt myself to make you mine.
i’ll sacrifice my sanity and pretend that everything is fine...
and ya know, i really need to scream right now,
but it is such a pity,
that i can’t let it all hang out,
‘cause right now i look pretty.

but if i want this bad enough i’ll find a way to shine.
gimme a little extra liner, some Visine, and i’ll be fine!
shoot me up with Prozac, kick my ass in gear...
then maybe i’ll feel too damn good to remember you’re not here.

i know why i’m so sick.
i’m just fucking crazy.
i’m dying on the inside
while outside i’m plucking daisies.

and sometimes i’d like to kill you.
i want to be my own brave young prince
who rides up and slays the ugly dragon
that makes his fragile princess wince.

and sometimes i don’t even want this anymore!
there are days when i just sit and cry and lock my bedroom door.
and it was really dumb of me to have given you a key
‘cause now you can barge in any time you get the urge to see
me, the little flower that is barely being fed,
the tortured little angel who lost the halo from her head.

i feel like i’m your freak show
and you know i wanna run.
but we both know where i’d run to, so fuck it!- what’s the fun?!?

and still, if i want this bad enough, i’ll find a way to shine,
just when you tell me that i can’t is just when i’ll cross the line.

i just wanted to love you and you made me hate myself,
so now fuck you and your fantasies- just like you fucked my mental health!

yeah, i’m just so filled with hate.
and i hate myself ‘cause i love you.
and i hate that i love you.
and i hate you.
and i hate the stupid girls that you go out with.
and oh hey-hey! i hate that you took your sister out to dinner on my birthday!

i hate the way you talk!
and you have a tiny dick!
you swagger when you walk
and you make me so damn sick!
geeze! i think you think you’re Elvis!
you stupid bitch! you think you’re God!
and you have this stupid damn delusion that pot & beer do wonders for your bod!

and if i want out bad enough i’ll find a way to go
i hate you ‘cause after you’d already fucked me you whispered,
“let’s go slow.”
i hate your so-called morals
and i don’t want to be rational!!!
what the hell was i thinking?!?
my kids could have been multi-colored, international,
and all screwed up just like you,
with flippers, gills, and tiny dicks,
and stupid little instincts,
they’d shit on the lawn and go fetch sticks!

...and i think i’m getting strong now.
yeah, i think i can let go.
but before i leave you, asshole, there are a few things you should know...

i do believe in God and i believe in the undying soul,
but i don’t believe the fact that you have a penis gives you the right to control
me, i’m just a girl, just trying to get through,
this stupid little universe
with or without stupid little you!

and yeah, i think i want this bad enough, so now i’ll leave your ass behind,
i’ll choke down all my snot and tears and find a way to shine...
because i know your type,
yeah, and i know your style...
and i know your heart is like a cesspool, bubbling, vulgar, and obscure,
and deep down somewhere beneath the evil and the ignorance lies the man i thought you really were...
and i think that man really kind of likes me,
but i never really was quite sure.

still, i think his sorry ass will miss me when i’m gone,
and he’ll succumb to the stupid darkness in hopes to carry on
and to overcome the same cold loneliness that i have felt for years,
and his face will get all dry and crack (like mine) from salty tears.

oh yeah, i’ll know what you’re feeling, but i can’t care anymore.
you’ve used me for the last time, my heart has closed and locked her door,
because i hate what you made me become: your lover, mistress, whore,
and since i’m finally strong enough, i won’t be those anymore.

i’ve just been the fragile, sprite-like princess, ever-loving and true...
the perfect fucking complement to the monster that is you.

and since i want this bad enough, i have found the strength to shine.
look! i’m happy!
i’m content!
everything is really fine!

...and since i’d finally had enough...
and you were never really mine...
i no longer hate myself...
...and my wounds will heal in time.