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Being a pretty independent cat, I don't always enjoy others telling me what to do and I ignore them as much as I can. But there are times when I can't quite get away with that; such as when Munkustrap wants me to do something and I just don't feel like it. Somehow, he's just able to talk me into it and make me think that it's my own idea to do it. and if that doesn't work, he's able to turn the circumstances to where he can get his way and make it seem reasonable. One of these days, I'm going to figure out just how he manages that and turn it back around on him.
Like the other day; I didn't want our human to put a collar on me, no matter how pretty the gemstones in it happened to be. I happen to like the look of my short black fur uninterrupted by a strap of suede leather; it suits me better. I ran; I hid under the bed, the sofa, even in the closet with that sweeper thing that the family girl tries to suck my tail into. All to no avail, she found me every time. Turns out he was leading her to my hiding places and I had no idea of it at the time. When he wants his own way, he'll work his tail (nice tail!) off to get it.
Don't get me wrong, he's not that demanding of me as to making sure that it all goes his own way, it's not that way at all. We pretty much have a very even relationship, we give and take in proper measure. There are times, though, when we bump heads when neither one of wants to compromise. If I'm set on NOT doing something, he'll usually not press the issue; I've told him how it was when I was living with the American couple who brought me over and then left me when they got sent back to the States.
There was also a male cat that I shared them with and he would just go crazy if I dared to contradict his wishes. Needless to say, we fought a lot and I told my Munkustrap about it. He is so understanding and good to me that it's easy to make a compromise, most of the time. but I hate collars. The human's offspring used to sling me around by the one I used to have. I vowed never to wear another after my old one got destroyed during that run in with Macavity. And here he was, wanting me to wear another one! I think not. At least, then I thought not.
Anyway, to get back to the subject, I bounced off of furniture, ran through the garden, scampered behind the dust bins, and climbed a tall tree. I had no idea that the squirrels over here could be so vicious and I got a few bites taken out of my paw before I could reach the safety of the stone fence in the back yard.
Up onto the birdhouse, under the automobile in the garage, even behind the commode in the bathroom. I just could not shake that human! I wound up going into the attic through the window the house keeper had left open to air out the dust and I just collapsed onto an old trunk and fell deeply asleep.
Next thing I know, it's evening and I wake up to the sensation of a tongue rasping on my forehead and then over my ears while a purry chuckle sounded deep in my mate's chest. I said nothing, just let him tend to my squirrel bites as best as he could. They were really starting to hurt by this time and even swelling a bit. But of course, being a stubborn queen, I didn't meow one bit when he stopped to examine them closely and prodded them gently.
He just kept up the purring chuckle the whole time and I finally just had to ask him what in the hell was so funny. Munkustrap just looked at me with those gorgeous eyes of his and burst out in a full fledged laugh and my fur started to stand straight up because I knew he was laughing at me. (I hate that!) I turned away from him after giving him a cold look and leapt to the floor as lightly as I could, trying my best not to limp.
But of course I couldn't help it and he was pouncing on me as quick as a flash. I just stood there and stared through him until he began to shuffle his paws in discomfort. He hates the cold shoulder treatment but I should have realized that this time he was using it to his advantage. That mate of mine isn't stupid, he knows how to play the game to his advantage when he needs to.
Finally, he said that after looking at me and seeing how dusty and grimy my coat had become, it might be better to call me Cinders instead of Lady Munk. Well, THAT hurt, I've never allowed myself to look like an ash can tramp and have always taken great pains to keep myself looking decent. Well, I didn't stand still for that, I just gave him a look and went back onto the roof to enjoy the cool night air.
I didn't wait for him to follow, instead I jumped into the oak tree that stands right by the house and began to climb as high as I could. He can't go as high as I can, he's bigger and the smaller branches won't hold him very well. Wouldn't you know it, I ran into those same stupid squirrels again and the war started once more. This time, though, I showed them who the boss was. Me. Of course. I'm a Jellicle cat and they are just puffy tailed rodents. They should remember that before I see if that kind of meat is tasty. Jumped up rats with fur implants. Huh!
When I looked down onto the roof, there he was; waiting for me and looking contrite, as well he might. If he wants to enjoy my favors when my season comes around soon, he'd best keep in good with me. Otherwise I'll just find a place to hide and wait it out by myself. It won't be fun, but if I won't let him act as father to my kittens, well, no other tom is going to have that honor.
I sat up there alone, looking towards a moon that looked so close that I wondered if I could jump over to it, but not being that stupid to actually try I kept my place until sudden clouds swept in and a wind came up that blew my perch around. I would have been fine if a sudden flash of lightning hadn't startled the heck out of me. The thunder which followed was worse.
Munkustrap knows how much I hate that noise and cuddles me close when we have a storm blow up. Bless his heart, he sat out there and kept his eyes on me, making sure that I was alright but a sudden upsweep in the speed of the wind caught me off guard and the next thing I knew I was hanging onto the limb with all of my claws sunk deep.
At least my former pets didn't de-claw me, they at least spared me that indignity. I've seen unfortunate cats that have been mutilated like that and they have horrible muscle problems in their legs as they get older. I mean, those claws are a part of out musculature and to rip them out can cripple us. When will humans learn that it's just plain cruel to do that to us?
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm no coward but this time I screamed. How would you like to find yourself dangling almost by your last claw? Now you know how I felt. I looked down and he was as scared as I was. I tried to pull myself back up to my former position but by now that damn branch was being tossed about like I play with a feather and besides, something had wrenched in my shoulder and I couldn't quite manage it.
So, I hung there and contemplated just letting go and falling onto the roof. That's when the rain began to fall. Lucky me. Black cats are considered to be unlucky in my old home in America, but here in England they aren't. Let me confess right now that I felt decidedly unlucky at this moment but I had nothing to lose if I missed the roof, I'd still land on my feet; I'd just fall farther down and have to go in through the kitchen door.
Our human would have a good chance of catching me, but as my fur became damp and then just plain soaked, I forgot the indignity that she wanted to perpetrate upon my sense of fashion. So, just as I began to ease my claws out of the wood, I heard him call out to me to hang on, he'd come for me in a moment.
That was idiotic, the branch wouldn't be able to hold him as well as me and I mewed down at him to be ready to help me up onto the roof and then, I. just. let. go. That roof seemed to come up towards my face awfully fast and just when I'd latched a good hold into one of the shingles, wouldn't ya know it? The stupid thing broke off and I began to slide to the edge of the roof.
I resigned myself to being a grease spot on the cobbles below when a wet gray blur bounced toward me and held me fast until I could fasten my claws where he told me to. Then, he fastened a firm, gentle grip on the scruff of my neck, set his hind quarters (nice hind quarters, by the way), and dragged me back up as far as he could. Once I got my back feet set firmly under me, I could help and we got back to the attic window and inside of the house.
I flopped to the floor and caught my breath, swearing to the Jellicle moon that he could have anything he wanted out of me for that rescue. Anything. No matter what he wanted, it was his for the asking. I should have watched my mouth because his eyes lit up and he pounced on the chance.
In as casual a voice as he could manage, he asked, "Anything?"
Too worn out from the fright I'd just had, I said, "Anything. I'll even let you have my side of the basket if you want it."
That rascal didn't miss a beat, he just said, "Oh, I don't want your side of the basket but I was wondering if you'd be willing to wear something special for me. Something, shall we say, that excites me?"
I should have seen it coming, but that tone of voice always melts my heart and I said, "Anything." I thought it was going to be a sprig of catnip or maybe a piece of ribbon. But no, that scamp reached behind the trunk and brought out that fool collar with the gemstones and laid it down gently in front of me, with this huge grin of triumph on his beautiful face.
I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing at the thought that he would find that stupid thing exciting. Well, I made the best out of it that I could and got my fur put into order as well as I could. My shoulder was hurting something awful by now and when we were ready to go to the door that leads back down to the lower floor, I couldn't manage it very well.
I didn't want to let him know how much it hurt, so I tried my best to make it but he noticed that my teeth were buried in my upper lip. He knocked me gently to the floor and stood over me, not letting me up until I told him where it hurt. There was no stopping him, he ran out of the room and down the steps.
I closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep. I was tired. Well, he came back soon with our human and she knelt down to look at me. With gentle hands she probed my side and I couldn't hold back just a tiny whimper when she probed the tender spot. She swept me up and carried me down to the basket I share with my Munkustrap and put me in carefully.
I was hoping that tom of mine would have forgotten my promise, but no such luck. He raised a forepaw and put it on her knee to get her attention and there he was, holding the thing in his mouth very carefully. She looked at him and began to smile, regarding him with admiration.
Then she looked at me and tenderly caressed my ears (she KNOWS I can't resist that!) and said, "This would seem to be the perfect time to slip this on, you can't get away from me this time." and before I could say a word, it was on and fastened and the two of them were admiring the effect. What can I say, I'm a sucker for sincere admiration and find it sweeter than even chocolate. (Which for some reason, they won't allow me to have, they say it could kill me. Oh, well, that's another story.)
So, now I wear a beautiful black suede collar set with amber and green colored gemstones around my neck. He got his way and yes, it does excite him. I'll never understand why, but I do like the way he acts when I preen with it on. I hope my season isn't too far off, I want to see just how he acts when it comes. It should prove to be fun. And he doesn't need to know that there may be a chance that I'll play hard to get when it gets here. A female needs to have some fun, you know.
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