There has been some discussion of chess eitquette in the bulletin lately. I thought I would offer a few do's and don'ts.

1. In over-the board chess, if you are losing, refrain from loading your revolver before the end of the game (refrain from explaining the row of nicks on the barrel).

2. When your opponent makes a bad move, don't sing out, "Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer!" It may disturb other players.

3. If your opponent is a psychiatrist, don't talk to your chess pieces.

4. After the game, cheerfully return all captured men.

5. Don't blow kisses across the board to your opponent.

   Sometimes a tournament is played one game a week, like the Charleston, WV Chess Club Championship. To make up missed games sometimes players play a game at one player's home. In this circumstance the following advice might be useful:

6. When playing at your home, don't show your collection of serial murderer memorabilia to your opponent.

7. When playing a make-up game at an opponent's home and their family is present, refrain from asking, "Which one of these kids is yours?"

1. In cases of a dispute over the position, don't glue pieces to a board and mail it to your opponent collect, COD (it's OK if you pay the postage yourself).

2. Don't tell your opponent, "I know where you live." This won't work if they have a P. O. Box anyway.

3. On the first move, never announce mate in 20 (unless they open 1. a3).

4. Never sign up your opponent with a book club.

5. Never send your opponent a copy of Reinfeld's "Invitation to Chess."

p.s. One more rule of etiquette for postal or OTB: never ask your opponent if you can include one of his games in your chess book you are preparing to be titled, "Impending Chess Disasters."