Blind Date
Heath Drummond, groundbreaking producer of many early reality television shows, had not produced a single program since he sent seven contestants to Gull's Head Island, six of whom were killed while the seventh disappeared. More than ten years after the scandal died down and the last of the lawsuits was settled, he decided to come out of retirement and get back into the game.
Once he set his mind on making a comeback, he needed to find the appropriate property. He immediately ruled out dancing and singing competitions. God knows there were enough of them already. He did briefly contemplate a Survivor-like series but deemed the danger to the contestants too great.
I have enough deaths on my conscience, he thought glumly.
After days of racking his brain to no avail, he phoned Alicia Ewing, who used to be his assistant producer back when he had the Midas touch. The phone rang four times before she answered.
"Alicia, sweetheart, how are you?" Heath greeted her as if she had been a dear friend rather than an employee.
"Heath?" she asked; despite having seen his name on her caller ID, she did not recognize his voice.
"Yeah. It's me. I've decided to produce another series, and I'd like to discuss it with you."
"I quit working five years ago. I'm a stay-at-home mom now with two children."
"Well, this is your lucky day then. I'm going to rescue you from diapers, carpools, playdates, bedtime story and PTA meetings."
"You don't get it. I like my life."
Heath, however, was never one to take no for an answer.
"Just meet me for lunch and hear what I have to say."
"No."
"I just need an idea; that's all. Brainstorm with me, and I'll start a college fund for both your kids."
The producer's entreaty was met with several minutes of silence as Alicia considered his proposal. She had absolutely no desire to return to Hollywood, but with only one salary coming in and four mouths to feed, the money would come in handy. Meanwhile, Heath waited with bated breath for her answer.
"Okay," she sighed. "We'll toss around some ideas over lunch, but I'm not going back to work."
The following day, the two collaborators met at the Lonesome Pine Inn.
"So, what have you come up with so far?" Alicia asked once her former boss took his seat.
"Nothing really. I know what I don't want to do, but I have no idea what I do want to do. Any suggestions?"
"Dating shows are popular."
"You mean like The Bachelor? Christ! Haven't there been enough of them?" Heath grumbled.
"There have been so many spinoff series because viewers can't get enough of them."
"A dating show, huh? What about a reboot of The Dating Game or Love Connection?"
Alicia sipped her glass of wine and considered several possibilities.
"If you want to do a reboot, why don't you go back further in time? Before I was born, there was a show called Blind Date. Also known as Your Big Moment, it ran from 1949 to 1953. If I'm not mistaken, it was originally a radio show that aired from 1943 to 1946."
"What makes that show any different from The Dating Game?"
"I don't know. I never watched it," Alicia admitted. "But then, how many viewers today have?"
Heath slowly nodded his head, his mind already flooded with ideas to bring the show's concept into the twenty-first century.
"Rather than let the contestants choose their dates," he cried with mounting excitement, "we'll match them up with a computer app. I'll put notices in magazines, online and on TV, asking for people to complete questionnaires to be on the show. We'll feed their names and information into the computer and select five couples that the computer deems are perfect for each other."
"Basically, a televised version of eHarmony or Tinder?"
"But I'll go beyond that. Once we have the matches, we'll send the ten people to a private island ...."
"Oh, no!" Alicia groaned. "Haven't you learned your lesson about stranding people on islands?"
"I'm not talking about a place with a creepy reputation like Gull's Head Island. I want a nice, romantic spot, the kind of place where newlyweds would go on a honeymoon. We'll leave them there for three or four days so they can get to know one another and see what develops."
"Are you putting cameramen on the island, too?"
"No," Heath decided. "We'll use only hidden cameras and microphones. That way, we get honest, candid behavior."
* * *
Merrit Reitman waited on the dock for the boat that would take him and four other men to the private island Heath Drummond had rented for the weekend. At sixty-two, Merrit was the oldest of the contestants. He was also the wealthiest. As a man who owned a chain of car dealerships in six states, he was used to taking charge of things. It was natural, then, that in the absence of the producer and his staff, he stepped in and assumed a leadership role.
"Since we'll be spending the next three days together, I suggest we introduce ourselves. I'll start. I'm Merrit Reitman from Rochester, New York."
"My name is Lee Kelton," a handsome man with a physique that would make Charles Atlas proud, introduced himself. "I live in Miami."
"I'm Linus Huggins from Baltimore," the only African-American in the group announced.
"Pleased to meet y'all," a red-headed, freckle-faced youth, fresh from the farm, declared. "My name's Stoney Allman. I was born and bred in Mississippi."
"And you are?" Merrit prompted a shy young man who seemed reluctant to join in the conversation.
"Todd Fagan."
"And where are you from?"
"Oklahoma."
No sooner were the introductions made than the boat arrived.
"Let's go, gentlemen," the skipper called as his shipmates began loading the luggage into the cargo hold. "We've got a two-hour trip ahead of us."
"Aren't you forgetting something?" Lee laughed.
"What?"
"The women."
"My instructions are to take you five to the island. The women, I believe, will arrive by private plane later in the day."
"What the hell!" Linus exclaimed. "We gotta get jounced around on the sea for two hours, but the women get to fly?"
"This is no doubt Drummond's way to build suspense," Merrit assumed.
The boat, at least, was comfortable, and there was beer and wine enough to keep the passengers happy. Halfway through the trip, Lee approached Merrit, who was relaxing in a deck chair with a glass of chardonnay.
"So, what's your story?" the twenty-six-year-old former bodybuilder from Miami inquired.
"What do you mean?"
"Why did you want to be on the show? You're wearing an Armani suit, Gucci shoes and a Rolex watch. I can't imagine you have too much trouble finding a date on your own."
"I don't. I've been married three times. After my third divorce, I decided I wanted no more wives. However, every woman I've dated since then wants only to be the next Mrs. Reitman. When I filled out the questionnaire for the show, I made it quite clear that I was not interested in a serious relationship. I'm counting on Drummond's computer program to find me a woman who feels the same way."
Lee laughed and nodded his head.
"What about you? Why are you here? With your looks and body, I'm sure you have to beat them off with a stick."
"You're not wrong. Ever since I was in high school, girls have been after me. To be honest, I'm bored with them all. I'm looking for a more ... mature woman."
"Someone with a nice little nest egg in the bank, you mean?" Merrit joked.
"I don't make much money working as a personal trainer. I hope someday to have my own gym."
"What are you two talking about?" asked Stoney in his thick southern drawl.
"We're talking the fairer sex," Merrit answered. "I'm curious. What do you hope to get out of being on this show?"
"A pretty gal. Back where I come from, there ain't many to choose from. You see, I grew up on a farm. I went to a small school where there was only six girls, and not a one of them was much to look at. Funny, but they all married young. I'm twenty-two, yet I'm the only guy my age who doesn't already have a kid."
"Count yourself lucky," Linus declared, opening another bottle of beer. "Enjoy being single while it lasts."
"Why are you here, then, if not to meet the woman that Drummond's computer app thinks is perfect for you?" Stoney argued.
"I'm thirty-one years old, not a youngster like you. It's time for me to settle down. When I was your age, I was in the Navy. I got to see a bit of the world: Japan, Australia, Spain. Have you ever been out of Mississippi?"
"Yeah. Now."
"I rest my case."
Merrit turned his attention to the twenty-eight-year-old hospital orderly from Oklahoma, sitting on the far side of the room, who seemed to be purposely avoiding the group.
"What about you, Todd?"
"I want to meet a girl," he answered tersely.
"That's obvious. Any type of girl in particular?" the multimillionaire continued to interrogate him.
"A nice one."
"Ah! Our friend here is a man of few words," Lee teased. "I bet ...."
The personal trainer stopped speaking midsentence when he spotted land. All five men turned to look in that direction.
"There it is," Merrit said, seeing the palatial mansion just ahead, the only dwelling on the island. "Home sweet home or the next three days."
* * *
It is often said that patience is a virtue. If so, it is but only one of the virtues Lee Kelton lacked. After arriving on the island, there was an hour and a half wait until the women's plane arrived. He spent the time pacing the floor like an expectant father.
"When the hell are our blind dates getting here?" he growled.
"Anxious to see your soul mate?" quipped Stoney Allman, who was munching on shelled peanuts from a dish on the mansion's bar.
"I certainly didn't sign on to sit around this place all day with a bunch of guys. That's for sure!"
"I wonder what blind date the computer selected for me," Merrit Reitman mumbled.
"Wouldn't it be a hoot if she turns out to be one of your ex-wives!" the boy from Mississippi joked.
"A hoot?" the older man echoed. "It would be a nightmare! I'd head back to the mainland fast. I wouldn't even wait for the boat. I'd dive in and swim."
Lee was about to make an unfavorable comparison between the Reitman and Olympic gold medalist Mark Spitz when he heard the unmistakable sound of an airplane engine.
"That's them," he yelled and headed for the door, eager to meet the woman who might help him buy his own gym.
The four other bachelors followed on his heels.
The pilot was the first person to deplane. As each woman exited the aircraft, he introduced them to the men.
"Gentlemen, meet Lacey Beckham, a model and aspiring actress from Los Angeles."
Four of the men were immediately attracted to the twenty-three-year-old blonde. Merrit assumed the computer would deem her too young for him. Lee doubted she made much money modeling. Linus hoped there was an equally attractive black woman aboard the plane. Only Todd had no reaction to the would-be actress.
Following the actress down the stairs was a forty-four-year-old, overweight widow with brown hair rapidly turning gray.
"Our next contestant is Peg Brimble from Chicago."
Peg's feet had not yet touched the ground when the third woman emerged from the plane. Thirty-two years old, the devoutly religious, pinch-faced nurse was a former missionary.
"And here is Mildred Chiles from Ohio."
Good God! Lee thought with distaste. Please don't let Lacey Beckham be the only decent-looking one in the bunch.
As though in answer to his prayer, the fourth female contestant was attractive. Not nearly as sexy as the model, but much better than Peg and Mildred, the thirty-four-year-old executive from San Francisco was dressed in a designer outfit that cost more than Lee earned in a year. The personal trainer assumed that the computer had chosen her to be Merrit's blind date.
"Direct from Silicon Valley is Tamara Corday," the pilot said as though he were an emcee on a game show.
The five men waited with bated breath for the last woman to deplane.
"Where is she?" Stoney asked when no one appeared.
"Give her a second," the pilot laughed. "She's a shy one."
It was several minutes before the twenty-five-year-old barista from Pennsylvania popped her head out of the doorway.
"And last but not least, may I introduce you to Katie O'Farrell?"
After the men welcomed the women to the island, all ten contestants headed to the mansion where a cold buffet had been laid out for them.
"I'm not hungry," Lacey said. "I'll just have a diet soda."
"I'm starving!" Peg cried and began filling her plate with all sorts of meats, cheeses and salads.
"Isn't the pilot joining us?" Linus wondered.
Moments later, he got his answer when he heard the plane take off for the mainland.
"How are we going to know who are dates are?" Stoney wondered. "Do you ladies know?"
"No one told me," Tamara admitted.
"Me either," the other four women said in unison.
"I'm sure Drummond will let us know in good time," Merrit opined. "Let's eat, drink and enjoy ourselves until then."
After the contestants finished their meal, they headed to the drawing room for after-dinner drinks. On a table in the center of the room were ten envelopes, one for each of them.
"Ah! This is the moment of truth," Tamara predicted, expecting to have the name of her blind date revealed inside.
"And the winner is," Lacey said dramatically, as if she were presenting an Oscar at the Academy Awards ceremony. "There's nothing in here but a key!"
The same was true for the other nine envelopes.
"These must be keys to our rooms," Lee presumed.
"I'm going to take my luggage upstairs," Linus said and grabbed his duffel bag.
"Can I carry your bag, ma'am?" Stoney asked Lacey.
"I suppose so. I don't see any bellhops around here."
"You, there," Tamara called to Lee. "You're obviously a lot stronger than I am. Will you bring my luggage to my room?"
"Certainly," the trainer agreed, eager to please the obviously wealthy woman.
The remaining three women carried their own bags up the stairs.
Upon entering his room, Linus found a second envelope on his bed. He used his index finger to tear open the flap. A single sheet of paper was inside. He immediately unfolded it and read the name printed in large font: Mildred Chiles.
"Oh, Christ!" he complained, crumbling the paper into a ball. "Of all the women here, I get the one who looks like she sucked on lemons during the entire flight to the island."
After seeing the name of the woman chosen for him, Lee was even more disappointed.
"My blind date is not only the oldest of the women, but she's also the fattest. I can't believe a computer program would match me with Porky Peg."
Conversely, Merrit was delighted to discover his blind date was Lacey, the sexy wannabe actress. She, in turn, was delighted to be matched with a multimillionaire. Stoney seemed happy enough to be paired with Tamara; however, she was furious at having to spend three days with what she secretly referred to as a "redneck hillbilly"! Not surprisingly, the quiet Todd and timid Katie voiced no grievances about their choice of blind dates. Seemingly, neither one had the backbone to object.
* * *
"I can't believe there's no coffee!" Lacey whined when she came downstairs the next morning.
"And what's with the staff?" Tamara wondered. "No one has cleared away the mess from last night's buffet."
"I don't think there is any staff," Linus theorized. "I imagine we're supposed to do our own cooking and housekeeping."
"There's no way in hell I'm going to do dishes!" the Silicon Valley executive insisted.
"I don't know how to make coffee with this thing," the widow confessed, looking at the complicated industrial coffeemaker.
"I do," Katie claimed. "I'm a barista."
"And I can make breakfast," Todd offered. "Before I became an orderly, I worked at McDonald's."
Once they finished eating, the ten contestants followed Heath Drummond's written instructions and paired off to get acquainted with their blind dates. Merrit and Lacey headed for the beach on the far side of the island. Lee and Peg went to the indoor pool in the basement. Linus and Mildred took a walk to the lighthouse. And Todd and Katie volunteered to clean up the mess in the kitchen and prepare a light lunch for the group.
After the eight other contestants exited the dining room, Stoney tried to strike up a conversation with Tamara.
"So, you work with computers, huh?"
His blind date rolled her eyes and forced herself to answer.
"Yes. And what do you do? No. Let me guess," she said sarcastically. "You're an associate at Walmart."
"Nah. I'm a hand on my pa's soybean farm."
"Why am I not surprised?" Tamara muttered.
"I guess you went to college."
"I graduated top of my class at MIT."
Since Stoney had never heard of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, he was not overly impressed by her accomplishment.
"This is supposed to be a date," he claimed. "You wanna do something?"
"Yeah. I want to leave."
"Lessen you want to swim back to the mainland," he laughed, "that's not an option."
"Look, cowboy ...."
"I'm not a cowboy. I'm a farmer."
"Whatever! Why don't you go find someone your own age to woo? You've got to be at least a decade too young for me."
"That don't bother me. You're kinda pretty for an older woman."
Hearing herself described as "an older woman" pushed Tamara over the edge.
"Get lost!" she screamed.
When Stoney, sulking from rejection, left the mansion, his blind date went upstairs to her room.
This is going to be the longest three days of my life! she thought and walked into the bathroom.
She filled the clawfoot tub with water, added gardenia-scented foaming bath oil and stripped off her clothes. After she lowered her body into the bubbles, she leaned her head against the tub and closed her eyes. Before the hot water had the chance to cool, she dozed off. Thus, she was not aware that the bathroom door opened or that someone entered the room. Her eyes opened only when she heard the splash when her laptop was tossed into the bathtub.
Having electrocuted Tamara Corday with her own computer, the killer leaned over and placed a playing card, the queen of hearts, in the dead woman's hand.
* * *
"What happened?" Heath demanded to know when all the microphones went silent and the TV monitors in the control room exhibited blue screens.
"Looks like we lost transmission," Oliver Rushmore, the engineer sitting beside him, surmised.
"How is that possible? There's no storm."
"One of the contestants may have purposely or inadvertently shut off the power."
Memories of the events at Gull's Head Island came back to haunt the producer.
"Can't you do something to get it back?"
"Not from here. I'd have to travel out to the island."
Heath took out his cell phone.
"Who are you calling?" Oliver asked.
"I have the contestants' numbers in my contacts."
"That won't do you any good. There's no service on the island."
For Heath Drummond, the nightmare was about to begin. He was unaware that for Tamara Corday, it had already ended.
* * *
Neither Linus nor Mildred was adept at small talk. Accordingly, few words were spoken as the two walked along the wooded trail that led to the lighthouse.
As he led the way, the former ensign wondered why the computer had selected a Bible thumper as a perfect match for him since he hadn't been to church in over ten years. Even then, he had not gone for spiritual enlightenment. He had simply been there to attend his sister's wedding.
Ironically, Mildred was wondering the same thing. Admittedly, she was not a racist. After all, hadn't God created all people on the earth? That said, she also believed God frowned on mixed marriages. Her sole purpose for wanting to wed was to follow Genesis 1:28, in which God commanded, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth." She could not imagine the lord approving of her giving birth to a biracial child. She was certain he would want to maintain the purity of the races.
Roughly a mile from the mansion, the mismatched couple came upon a clearing in the trees. In the clearing were roughly two dozen headstones, some of which dated back to the early 1800s.
"What's a cemetery doing on this godforsaken island?" Linus said, more to himself than to his companion. "No one ...."
Whack!
The Baltimore mechanic was taken aback when Mildred struck him across the face, and he fought the impulse to hit her back.
"Don't you know the commandments?" she screamed.
"What?"
"Commandment Number 3, Thou shalt not take the name of the lord in vain."
"You crazy bitch!"
Mildred raised her hand, intending to strike him again, but he raised his arm and blocked the blow.
"I don't give a damn what that computer thinks. I wouldn't date you if you were the last woman on earth."
Linus turned around and stormed off along the trail back to the mansion, leaving Mildred alone in the cemetery. Not wanting to encounter him in the woods, she chose to wait before following him.
Curious as to the people buried in the cemetery, she read the names and dates on the headstones. All the people buried there had the same last name: Strait. Perhaps the Straits were the family who originally owned the mansion. As she neared the most recent gravestone, she heard a branch snap as though someone had stepped on it. She turned quickly, fearing Linus had returned.
"Oh, it's you!" she said with relief. "I was afraid that ...."
The blow to Mildred's head was not forceful enough to kill her, only to knock her out. When the former missionary came to, she discovered to her horror that she was buried beneath several feet of earth. She valiantly attempted to dig her way out, but the weight of the soil was too heavy. She suffocated long before she could have reached daylight.
* * *
Rather than return to the mansion after his quarrel with Mildred, Linus took a detour and found an alternate route to the lighthouse.
There's nothing else to do on this island; I might as well see some of the sights.
Being more than two centuries old, there was bound to be some structural damage to the tower. Nevertheless, he forced open the door and went inside. The dusty, moldy smell made him gag, but he soon recovered. Judging the circular staircase to be sound, he mounted the first step and began to climb. He welcomed the fresh air when he stepped out onto the gallery.
Looking out of the water, there was no sign of land. He saw a lone boat on the horizon but doubted it was heading for the island.
I wish it was. I can't wait to get back to Baltimore.
Since his eyes were on the water, he had not seen the figure approach by land. Linus first realized he was not alone when he heard the footsteps echo on the metal stairs. He hoped it wasn't Mildred. Given their recent altercation, he had every intention of avoiding her for the next three days.
"Hey, what's up?" Linus greeted his fellow contestant and smiled that it was not the religious nut come to renew her attack.
"Not up; down."
"What are you talking about?"
The look of confusion on the mechanic's face turned to one of terror when he was pushed over the side of the gallery railing. Moments later, he fell to his death on the rocks below.
The killer walked down the circular stairs, climbed over the rocks and placed a jack of spades in the dead man's hand.
* * *
Once Lee learned that Peg had not inherited a fortune when her husband died, he lost all interest in the obese widow. Rather than waste time talking to her, he dove into the pool. There was no gym in the mansion, so he would work out by swimming laps.
He had been in the water for more than half an hour when Peg got bored with watching him swim.
"Your skin is going to prune," she teased.
Lee ignored her.
"Why don't you come out of the water?"
"Why don't you jump into it?" the trainer countered.
"Me? I haven't put on a bathing suit since I was twelve years old."
"I can't imagine why," Lee mumbled.
Maybe it was best she stay out of the water, he thought cruelly. If she jumps in, she'll create a tidal wave.
"Come on," she urged. "Let's go upstairs. It must be lunchtime by now."
"You could well afford to miss a meal."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Peg asked, her eyes glistening with tears.
"Take a look in the mirror. You're one chocolate cake short of being a candidate for My 600 lb. Life."
"Why you ... you ...."
She struggled to find an insult. It wasn't easy since, physically, he was just about perfect.
"You poor man's Arnold Schwarzenegger!"
To her horror, he was amused, not offended. His laughter sent her running up the stairs.
"Bye, bye blimpy," he taunted her.
Lee continued swimming, lap after lap. He kept his eyes closed and his head in the water, turning it only to catch an occasional breath. The movement of the retractable pool cover took him by surprise.
"What the ...!"
He scrambled to get out of the water, but hit his head in the process. When his perfectly honed physique temporarily sank to the bottom, the pool cover prevented it from returning to the surface.
"The first by Earth; the second by water," the killer intoned as the personal trainer's body disappeared from view.
* * *
Unlike the previous two couples, Merrit and Lacey were getting along like the proverbial two peas in a pod. The successful businessman had no false illusions that the young model liked him for his personality or his looks. He hadn't gotten to be a multimillionaire because he was gullible or stupid. Only his first wife had truly loved him. The other two loved his money.
That's okay. It's not as though I'm attracted to Lacey's brains.
The two had sat on the beachmdash;neither went into the watermdash;for more than an hour before the model suggested they return to the mansion.
"I burn easily," she explained. "Even with sunscreen."
Merrit looked at his Rolex. It was almost one o'clock.
"I wonder what Todd prepared for lunch. I doubt he learned to cook gourmet meals at McDonald's."
"That's fine with me. I'm content to have a piece of fruit."
"I forgot. Models don't eat, do they?" Merrit laughed.
"Only when we're on the verge of starvation," she quipped.
The playful repartee continued as they walked side by side along the shoreline. From time to time, the Rochester millionaire stole furtive glances at his blind date's impressive cleavage.
She really is quite a beauty.
Her charms so impressed him that he began to reconsider his vow not to marry a fourth time. He anticipated that if she signed an ironclad prenup, he might be tempted to propose to her.
"Here we are," he announced when the mansion came into view.
They crossed the lawn, climbed the stairs to the veranda and entered through the lobby.
"Mmm. Something smells good," Merrit opined. "And it's not hamburgers and French fries."
"You go ahead to the dining room," Lacey told him. "I want to go upstairs and change out of my bathing suit."
"Don't take too long."
Wanting to wash off her sunscreen, she hopped into the shower before dressing. She toweled off and put on a Donna Karan sundress that she had purchased on sale at Macy's. She was reapplying her makeupmdash;she wanted to look her best for Merritmdash;when the bathroom door opened.
"What are you doing in here? Get out! I ...."
Lacey was silenced when her Burberry silk scarf was wrapped around her neck. Instinctively, her hands went to her throat, and she clawed at the expensive fabric with her manicured nails. Her frantic efforts only resulted in deep gashes in her skin. Within minutes, her face was the same shade of blue as her scarf.
"The first by earth, the second by water and the third by airmdash;or, rather, the lack of it," the killer chuckled.
* * *
After Tamara spurned all his attempts to get to know her better, Stoney fled the mansion and sat on the dock.
"Now, what am I supposed to do here for three days?" he wondered.
He recalled how excited he had been when Heath Drummond selected him to appear on the show. While he never imagined he would be matched with a fox like Lacey, he had hoped his blind date would be a nice girl. If he couldn't have beautiful or sexy, he would have settled for "cute." Why hadn't the computer chosen someone like Katie for him? She seemed nice enough.
"My pa always said he didn't trust computers. How right he was!"
The longer he sat and sulked, the more morose he became. Eventually, he got up and returned to the mansion. Since he was not hungry, he did not join the contestants who were in the dining room. Instead, he went to the drawing room, which contained a fully stocked bar.
"Who's going to be my best friend tonight? Let's see. Jack Daniels. Johnny Walker. Captain Morgan. Evan Williams. Old Ezra. There's so many to choose from!"
He was about to open a bottle of Templeton Rye when one of his fellow contestants placed moonshine on the bar and said, "Try this."
"Don't mind if I do."
He pulled out the stopper and, not bothering to get a glass, took a sip straight from the bottle.
"Not bad. I had a neighbor in Mississippi who used to have his own still. Made the best damned booze in the state. At least, that's what my pa said. I was too young to drink back then. I'm not now, though."
So saying, the farm boy then took a long gulp of moonshine.
"Ahhh! That's just what the doctor ...."
Stoney dropped the bottle, which fell to the floor and shattered. His eyes widened, and his hands went to his throat. He tried to speak, to ask his fellow contestant for help, but he was unable to do so. Within moments, he fell to the floor.
He lay in the puddle of spilled moonshine and shattered glass, his body convulsing for several more moments before at last becoming still. Once all movement ceased, the killer leaned over, placed a joker playing card in his hand and left the room.
* * *
Unaware of what had befallen the six other contestants, Merrit and Peg sat in the dining room, enjoying the food Todd had cooked for them.
"Would either of you like coffee?" Katie, the barista, offered. "I can make you a cappuccino, an americano, a latte. Or, if you prefer, I can also make tea and hot chocolate."
"I'll have a mocha latte, dear," Peg decided. "With lots of whipped cream, if you have any."
"And you?" the girl asked, turning her attention to Merrit.
"Just plain coffee will be fine. Milk, no sugar."
As they waited for their coffees, Merrit struck up a conversation with the widow.
"How has your blind date gone so far?" he inquired.
A look of disgust appeared on Peg's pudgy face.
"Don't ask!" she groaned. "What about yours?"
"Great. I never had much faith in computer dating apps, but I have to admit this one hit the nail right on the head."
"Not for me, it didn't!"
Merrit looked at his watch.
"Lacey ought to be down here any minute now," he stated. "She went up to change after we got back from the beach. She probably took a shower, as well."
"Women like her take their time. What with putting on all that makeup and fixing their hair."
By the time the two had finished their coffee, the model had yet to make an appearance.
"I think I'll go out and have a cigarette," Merrit said. "Are you going to stay here?"
"Yes. I want another slice of that delicious cookie butter pound cake."
"If Lacey comes down when I'm outside, will you tell her I'll be back in a few minutes?"
"Sure."
Once outside, Merrit took a pack of Marlboros out of his pocket. He lit his cigarette with a Cartier lighter. Enjoying his smoke, he strolled in the mansion's formal garden. Apparently, landscapers came over from the mainland since the lawn, flowers and shrubbery were all well-maintained.
While walking through a bed of different colored roses, his thoughts went to Lacey Beckham. He imagined the two of them walking hand-in-hand along the Champs Élysées or looking out over the city from the top of the Eiffel Tower.
Paris is a great place for a honeymoon, he mused.
There was no use denying it. He was falling in love with Lacey even though he had known her for less than twenty-four hours.
"What can I do?" he laughed to himself. "Love is in the air!"
The lovesick multimillionaire was unaware that someone was hiding in an oversized hydrangea bush nearby. Moments later, an arrow, shot not from Cupid's bow but from a killer's, pierced his heart. The archer then emerged from hiding, leaned over the dead body and placed a king of clubs in the corpse's hand.
* * *
Despite having eaten a large lunch and not one but two slices of pound cake, Peg was still hungry. She always had a "healthy appetite," but the humiliating episode with Lee down by the pool had upset her, causing her to be even hungrier than normal.
"You don't mind if I have a third slice of that scrumptious cake, do you?" she asked Katie when she came into the dining room to clear away the dirty dishes.
"Oh, I'm sorry, there is no more."
"Darn!"
"But you're welcome to come into the kitchen and find something else to eat. There's a large selection of snacks in the cupboard."
Peg eagerly took the barista up on her offer.
Katie was rinsing off plates, cups and silverware and placing them in the dishwasher as the widow from Chicago perused the snack items. One shelf of the cabinet was filled with cookies: butter cookies, shortbread, ginger snaps, lemon bars, sugar cookies, Oreos, chocolate chip cookies and several others. The shelf beneath it had an assortment of candy. Peg reached for the Reese's peanut butter cups, her favorite, when she saw a box of graham crackers placed next to a bag of marshmallows.
S'mores! I haven't had them in years!
Sticking a few peanut butter cups in her pocketmdash;she would save them for latermdash;she then picked up a few Hershey bars and carried them outside along with the graham crackers and marshmallows. Eagerly anticipating the taste of melted chocolate and marshmallows on the Nabisco cracker, she lit the gas grill on the patio. She picked up a kebab skewer, impaled a marshmallow on the end and toasted it over the open flame. Once the sugary confection was properly gooey, she placed it and the Hershey bar between two graham crackers. She waited a few moments for the marshmallow to cool down and then took a bite.
Nirvana!
Peg was so delighted with the taste of her s'more that she failed to notice that the sleeve of her dress caught fire. The searing pain in her lower arm alerted her to the danger. She reached beneath the gas grill for the fire extinguisher, but someone got to it before she did.
"Give it to me!" she screamed, as the fire traveled down her body.
The killer refused, preferring to watch the rotund widow be engulfed in flames. Only when it was obvious that Peg Brimble was dead did the killer douse the blackened corpse with the extinguisher.
"The first by earth, the second by water, the third by air and the fourth by fire."
* * *
Back on the mainland, Heath Drummond, after learning that the pilot who had transferred the women to the island was flying three people to Martha's Vineyard and was not available, phoned nearly every boat for hire in the area. All of them were either already booked or not currently in service.
"There must be some way for us to get out to the island!" he cried.
Luckily, the second-to-last transport company in the yellow pages could pick up him and Oliver that day, but they would have to wait three hours for the boat to return from Portland.
"Three hours!" the producer groaned. "Then another two to get from here to there. God, I hope we won't be too late."
"Too late for what?" Oliver asked.
"To prevent another slaughter."
Drummond then told the engineer about the murders on Gull's Head Island.
"And you think the same thing might happen again. But why? All our couples were matched by a computer program. Theoretically, they're perfect for each other. Why would anyone want to commit murder?"
The producer's face reddened, and he turned to avoid Oliver's gaze.
"I wasn't totally honest about the whole computer app thing."
"What do you mean?"
"The computer did pick five couples, but, frankly, they were all boring. I wanted the contestants to be more interesting, so I handpicked a few of them myself."
"All ten of them?" Oliver cried with disbelief.
"No. One of the couples was chosen by the computer app."
"Do you think that, of the eight people you chose, one of them might be a killer?"
"I don't know, but I've got a terrible feeling in my gut. Damn! I never should have come out of retirement."
* * *
After spending most of the day in the kitchen, Katie made herself a dark chocolate salted caramel latte and sat down in the dining room. When she heard footsteps in the hall, she assumed one of the guests would stop to ask her about dinner.
"I'm not going to cook," she called out to whoever was in the hallway. "If you want something to eat, you'll have to make it yourself."
"I'm not hungry," Todd said. "I just wanted a bottle of Coke."
Katie got up from the dining room table and followed him out to the kitchen.
"So, what have you been up to all day?" she asked.
Wouldn't you like to know? he thought and then turned to confront her.
"What the ...?" he asked with astonishment when he saw the carving knife in her hand.
Katie was equally dumbfounded, observing the claw hammer he clutched in his fist.
"What are you going to do with that?" she demanded to know.
"I was planning on bashing your brains in with it."
"Funny. I was going to slit your throat."
The two of them let their hands fall to their sides.
"You wanted to murder me?" Todd laughed. "Did you ever kill anybody?"
"Yes."
He clearly did not believe her.
"Oh, yeah? When? Who?"
"Today. I strangled Lacey Beckham with her own scarf. I drowned Lee Kelton in the pool. I buried Mildred Chiles alive out in the old cemetery. And, although I didn't technically kill her with my own hand, I watched Peg Brimble burn to death and held the fire extinguisher out of her reach. I recently read about the four fundamental aspects of existence: air, water, earth and fire. I killed one person for each."
"Aha! There was a method to your madness."
"What about you?" she wondered. "Did you ever kill anyone?
Todd removed the playing cards from his pocket and tossed them on the kitchen counter.
"I electrocuted Tamara Corday in her bathtub, and left behind the queen of hearts card in her hand. Then I pushed Linus Huggins off the top of the lighthouse. He got the jack of spades. Next, I poisoned Stoney Allman by putting cyanide in a bottle of moonshine. He was the joker. Finally, there was the king of diamonds: Merrit Reitman. I shot him with a bow and arrow."
"And I was to be your next victim."
"You would have been my ace of diamonds."
The quiet hospital orderly from Oklahoma and the timid barista from Pennsylvania seemed to see each other for the first time. Then, simultaneously, they dropped their weapons on the floor and fell into a passionate embrace. They were on the verge of tearing each other's clothes off when they heard a boat pull up to the dock.
"Who can that be?" Katie wondered.
"Oh, shit! It's Drummond!"
"What should we do? He'll find the bodies."
"You must have known they'd be found eventually."
"Of course, I did. But a friend was going to sail out here and pick me up tomorrow night. What about you?"
"Same thing. My buddy has a fishing boat. I was to meet him near the lighthouse but not until Sunday morning. Maybe we should hide and let Drummond think we're dead."
"What good would that do?" Katie argued. "Once he finds the bodies, he'll notify the authorities. After he does, the island will be crawling with police. When they notice we're missing, they'll organize a search party."
"And as the only two left alive, they'll be sure to suspect one or both of us," Todd concluded.
On the verge of panic, Katie got an idea, a way she might save not only her own skin but also Todd's.
"Just be quiet!" she called to him as Heath neared the entrance to the mansion. "Let me do the talking, and you act as if you're traumatized."
The door opened, and Heath and Oliver entered.
"Thank God! You're here!" Katie screamed and ran into the producer's arms. "You've got to get us out of here. She's insane!"
"Who's insane? What's going on here?"
"Mildred Chiles, the Jesus freak! She snapped. She began sprouting Bible verses and then killed all the others one by one. Todd and I hid so she wouldn't find us. We came out of hiding when we heard your boat approaching."
"Let's get them back to the mainland," Oliver ordered. "The captain can radio the police on the way."
"Good idea. Let's go, kids."
* * *
Heath and Oliver remained below deck. The producer attempted to drown his troubles in Jack Daniels while the engineer tried to make sense of what had happened.
"The police are on the way to the island," the captain told the two contestants who were watching the sun go down over the horizon. "I'm sure they'll eventually want to speak to both of you. But for now, relax and enjoy the ride."
Once the skipper returned to the bridge, Todd took hold of Katie's hand.
"That was quick thinking," he said. "But what will happen to us when they find Mildred Chiles's body?"
"That's the beauty of my idea. I buried her in the old cemetery. Unless the police use cadaver dogs, no one will ever find her."
"They'll most likely assume she found a way to get off the island, probably arranging for someone to pick her up by boatmdash;just like we did."
"Exactly!"
"You know," Todd said, pulling his blind date into his arms, "that computer program was right on target. You are the perfect girl for me."
"And you're the perfect man for me. Now, let's discuss what we're going to do for our next murders. I was thinking about killing people based on their zodiac signs."
"Sounds good. Twelve signs. Twelve bodies. You pick six; I'll pick six."
A passionate kiss sealed the deal.
Meanwhile, below deck, Heath Drummond, having finished off the entire bottle of Jack Daniels, passed out. He was mercifully unaware then that the one couple his computer app calculated as being perfect for each other were both sociopathic homicidal maniacs.
To read about the murders that happened on Gull's Head Island, go to the Old Wife's Cellar and select "A Question of Reality" on the menu.
Salem once had a blind date with a cute blond cat. He tried to impress her with (what else?) a box of Godiva chocolates, but then he ate them all himself.
