Monday February 4, 2013
Today is a bad day. I am finding myself flying into a rage when I should be remaining firmly in control of myself. Just a moment ago the plastic over the head piece of the headphones I paid way too much because of the extra long cord broke. I could have possibly used some superglue and/or duct tape, but instead I lost it. I threw them against the wall then took the pieces that remained and ripped them to smaller pieces with my bare hands. I turned into an animal and it scares me. This is not the first time this type of incident has occurred. Sometimes I just get so mad that I can’t stop myself. I become enraged and I have to do something destructive. Like taking a can of Mountain Dew in Iraq or Kuwait and, because either that it was just time or because the pressures of the situation had just built up to the breaking point, and I threw it down against the ground as hard as I could and it sprouted a leak. I ended up throwing the soda away. Would you believe that loss of that one can, out of hundreds, of Mountain Dew still haunts me today? Maybe it is really the loss of control that haunts me? I need to find out what causes these episodes. Prior to each one, as far as I can recall, I have been down depressed; thinking that all the bad things in life are looming above me, about to crash down and drown me. Then the rage is gone and all I feel is down and drained.
Well that is all for now;
The most unimportant person in existence;
Violet Shade