JahMon: I find myself here once again, the underdog, the man no one believes will win.  "It can't be done JahMon, you're just not talented enough."  Everyone has their opinion, everyone believes they're the best and that they're going to win no matter what.  Pete Cromier, Birdo Beaman, Aaron Cyr, Antione Rage, Bryant Tanner, Don E. Devlin and Sebastian Galca, all of them think they're better than everyone else in this tournament.  All of them except me.

JahMon: So let them think what they want.  Stereotype? That's coming from a gymnast who apparently isn't as good as oh, some guy named Dante?  Okay, you think this JahMon Rastafari is a character, a gimmick, a farce?  I really don't care what you think Sebastian.  You can spin all your tales of self pity and failure in your home country all you want, you can seek apathy from the fans all you want, the fact is you take shortcuts to win matches, all you've proven in SSW is you're a whiny son of a bitch and you can't win on your own merits, at least not yet.  I'll let you in on a secret Sebastian, its OK to lose.  It's ok to not be perfect, no one is, no one ever will be perfect.  You're a gymnast, surely you understand that its next to damn near impossible to be perfect, at least when someone's judging you.  But in that ring, there will be no Russian judge, there will be no Korean judge, there will be no Romanian judge that always gives the Romanians the highest score even if their performance was crap.  In that ring, its just me, JahMon Rastafari, the Jamaican, pot smoking, fun loving, fan entertaining cartoon.  You dismiss me because you think I'm not a serious competitor, well you know nothing about me Galca.  You only see what your eyes want to see, you have set me aside as a competitor immediately and are already looking past me to the next round.  Well if you keep overlooking me, you may find yourself out in the first round wondering what the hell just happened.  I didn't come to SSW to simply be comic relief, I enjoy making the fans laugh, but I also came to prove I'm a serious competitor, I'm here to prove that my run atop the TWD, even with all the politics and bullcrap that came with it, was not a fluke, I am a force to be reckoned with.  I'm here to prove that wrestling is my forte and I'm going to mix it up with anyone and everyone.  I've got my eye on you Galca, behind that mask of yours is some serious mental torment, you throw hissy fits like a teenage girl, you worry about a man who is halfway around the world and seems to be, in your mind, the only man who can get the better of you.  Come Uprising, you'll get the match of your life.  I have a good feeling we could steal the show, we could show the SSW just how exciting an opening round of a tournament can be, hell if we work hard enough, we could be the one match they talk about all night and all day tomorrow, however I doubt it, I don't believe our match will be the show stealer, simply because I don't believe you're interested in putting on a great match for the fans, I believe you'll take whatever shortcut you can to keep the match short and hopefully you'll be fresh for round two.  I'll tell you this Galca, I may or may not win the match, but if I'm not the winner, you're definitely going to be very tired for round two.  I won't let you get past me too easily. You're in for the hardest fought match of your little career, and its only the first round of the tournament.  Can you handle the pressure of trying to be perfect?  Can you handle the agony of defeat if you fail?  I doubt it, you're gonna crack under the limelight, this isn't the high bar, you're not going to twist and flip your way out of this one.  I'll be ready for you and believe me when I tell you, I'm bringing my all, everything I have, right in the first round.  If I beat you, I'll have to search within to find the strength to continue the tournament.  Sounds foolish don't it?  Give it all you got in the first match?  Well call me a fool then, after all you're probably thinking that anyway.

JahMon: It seems like Pete Cromier is a hypocrite.  He often preaches not to underestimate his opponents and always respect them because you never know their skills.  Really Pete?  You never underestimate? Always respect your opponent?  Yet, the best you can say to me is "You're a pot head, being a stoner is going to affect your match."  Another ignorant fool.  I swear these bumbaclots man, they listen to the crap the American government feeds them about Marijuana and believes it for fact.  My pot smoking has nothing to do with my performance in the ring, or out.  Furthermore, my pot smoking is a way of relaxing my high strung muscles.  Now Pete, you preach training and dedication to perfecting your craft, why do you think I train with Scott several hours a day 6 days a week?  I wouldn't be training hard if I wasn't serious about my craft, however, I don't need to look like a freaking jacked up mack truck.  I'm amazed at how you can move sometimes when you have muscles on top of your freaking muscles.  I swear you have no neck, just a stack of muscles.  All those muscles are pressing against your nerves, the neck nerves are so pinched you're not getting any electronic signals to your brain.  You're smarter than that Pete, smarter than the rest of the sheep who believe big brother's lies that marijuana is the devil!  You think I'm a slacker?  I bet you do, since I'm a pot head.  You think I'm slow and lazy right?  Of course you do because I'm a pot head.  I bet you think I'm retarded too, I've lost my damn mind right?  Yeah I knew you thought that way, because all of us pot heads just don't have the intelligence to say no.  Guess what Pete, not everyone wants to say no, you don't even know what marijuana can do for your body.  Marijuana increases self awareness, marijuana can quell the nausea in a cancer patient's stomach when they're sick from chemotherapy, marijuana can increase appetite for those who can't eat due to stomach illnesses, marijuana can help the insomniac sleep peacefully at night, marijuana can even help soothe sore muscles after an intense weight training session.  Telling me I'm not going to win because I smoke too much pot shows how ignorant you are.  No wonder people call you stupid, I couldn't blame them after that drivel I heard from your mouth.  I respect what you've done in the weight lifting world, but this is wrestling, and so far, you haven't shown me much to be impressed with.  You better hope you don't have to face me, because if I see you across the ring from me, I'm going to remember those words Pete, and I'm going to be one ANGRY Jamaican.  You wouldn't want to make a pot head angry, we're liable to fly off our handle and go crazy, isn't that another one of those stereotypical thoughts you've been fed by your corrupt, lying government?  Stick with what you know Pete, lifting lifeless bars of metal with pounds of dull steel added on.  I have assumptions about you, but I'm not going to tell people you can't wrestle because you seem to be a steroid freak, after all, your actions in the past few weeks tell me that its possible you are one, I mean one week you were all nice and respectable, then suddenly you fly off the handle and seemingly want to kill some guy over a few words he said to you.  Gonna fly off the handle again Pete?  I called you a roid freak, gonna try to kill me backstage?  You know what you should do?  Grab yourself a nice bag of bud, roll it up and smoke the hell out of it and CHILL.

JahMon: Yes lets talk about the other guys in this tournament, first theres Aaron Cyr, I think I've already proved he doesn't have what it takes to make it in the SSW, it's sad, he has such great potential, but his performance leaves much to be desired.  I gave him every opportunity to shine, but he fizzled like a cheap sparkler on the 4th of July.  Aaron didn't impress me much, and if he should somehow make it past Antonie Rage, he would have shocked me, and pretty much everyone else I'm sure.  I'm tired of people preaching work ethic behind the scenes and not showing any of their own, put up or shut up, and shutting up isn't an option, simply stay off SSW television, you're better off that way.  Speaking of Antonie Rage, who does this bumbaclot think he is?  He shows up with his fancy suits and expensive watches and sunglasses, he carries this mystery bag around like he's someone of importance and whatever is in that bag is really important.  I'm going to venture a guess, but I'm pretty sure its his wrestling gear, the man IS a professional wrestler, what's so weird about us carrying around duffel bags?  Mystery or not, Rage is another one of those individuals who seems to talk a big game, except when it matters.  Antonie, you can try to mystify us with this "air of secrecy" around you, but chances are, without this mystery, people are going to realize, you're just another boring wrestler who fails to entertain.  I have no doubt you'll be able to handle Aaron Cyr, but what happens next?  If you ask me, I think the road to the South American Championship goes through Jamaica.  So sooner or later, if you survive the first round, you just may end up wrestling me.  Then there's Don E. Devlin, I can't say I know much about him, but from what I hear, he's been in this business quite a long time and seems to have been stuck in the middle of the pack all this time.  This could be your big break Don, this could be the tournament they say "Wow, Finally Don Devlin has made the leap to the big time." It COULD be, but it wont be.  Guys like you will never find your peak, you probably won some obscure title in some dinky federation some time ago, that was your peak, you'll never be that good again.  Sure I could tell you to retire, but hey, why would I?  Keep on underachieving and maybe just maybe someday you'll suffer a career ending injury and the world will remember Don E Devlin went out with a bang.  At least you've made a name for yourself, sort of, unlike Bryant Tanner who I've never heard of.  Why bother wasting my breath on him if I know nothing about him? 

JahMon: There's no way I can forget this sick, disgusting, vile piece of steaming monkey crap.  Birdo, you sicken me.  I can't watch a Birdo Beaman promo without worrying if I'll have to see his poor attempt at porn every promo.  I can't stand the crap that comes out of his mouth.  Birdo, you really think that people are entertained by that garbage you put in your promos?  Then again, you don't seem to care anyway, hell you don't care about anyone but yourself.  Birdo, you disgraced yourself when you attacked Kurt Stone, it was uncalled for and you deserved the punishment you got.  Your actions got you kicked out of the main event, your actions cost you a chance to be the first SSW World Champion, your actions caused you to be the most hated man in the company, and that's saying a lot because Jake Dirden is a close second.  So you think you're the Fresh Prince of South Beach mon?  Do yourself a favor and stop embarrassing yourself, every South Beach Sunday you come out trying to look smooth and fresh, but you always fail and let me tell you, its getting old already.  We get it, you've got issues and we really don't care, in the ring, issues can be solved with a quick Killer Bud KO.  You're all hype, and once you've been exposed, you'll just run away like the rest of the SSW Roster that has disappeared the last few weeks.  I can't deny you've managed to survive so far, and hey, its possible you might even make a good run in this tournament, but if I can't be the champion, the one man I don't want to be the champion is YOU.  So be aware Birdo, if I have to interject myself into your business to prevent you from being champion, I will.  I can't say I'll be walking out of Uprising the South American Champion, but I can promise you, Birdo Beaman wont.  So put that in your pipe and SMOKE IT!

Scott Pandora: To win this tournament, you have to to better than you've ever done in your entire career.  The plan is simple, push yourself until you can not go anymore, then push yourself more.  The key to winning this tournament is endurance.  First match is probably going to be the longest, so you must prepare yourself to endure punishment early and often.  But its in that punishment, you will reach inside and find that fire that drives you.  But fire alone wont win you the tournament, endurance will. 

Scott Pandora: When you think you can't move anymore, you can, falling is movement, refuse to fall, but don't refuse to move.  If you keep moving, the first match will go by quickly, wear your opponent down faster by moving as often as you can.  It sounds absurd but you can't catch a break or a breather when the guy across from you keeps moving like a jittery bunny.  Force him to play your game, force him to do it your way.  When you stop moving, you invite him to exploit your weakness, the trick is to find his first and latch on early.  Don't let him stop you from moving, there will be times when you can catch a breath or two, do it, but don't ever stop moving.

Scott Pandora: Slowing down will hamper you, you're quick, keep the match at your tempo, if you work hard enough and fast enough, you can finish the first match quickly and earn yourself some time to rest, but during the match, you do NOT rest, you find your strength and charge full speed, forget conserving energy for the next match, you have to win one match at a time, focus on only the match you are in and give it your all.  Slowing down could mean disaster.

Scott Pandora: Now remember, Galca has got to have a lot of stamina, those gymnasts train their asses off like you would never believe.  People can joke about them all they want, a male gymnast is one of the toughest sons of bitches around.  Don't underestimate him, and don't stop moving.  Lets get out of here.