Hello, my name is Sarah, well at least this is the name that I now go by, I was born in the early seventies boy in a family of three children, unfortunately male at birth, I say unfortunately, as for me being male was totally wrong, I hated the male stereo type and all it stood for, I knew from an early age that I wanted or should have been a girl, and this is the story of my journey.
As I have already said, I knew from an early age that I wanted to be a girl, but in my early years I was too scarred to say anything about it, as I just didn't know how people would react, I mean back then male to female sex-changes were rare, and recieved great publicity, I was the oldest boy in a family of three children, I am not saying that I was the oldest child, no that was my sister Lisa, she was my inspiration, and the reason why I felt I wanted to be a girl, I just felt that I wanted to be like her, I would spend Hours just watching and looking at her, feeling very jealous, I mean as a boy all I could wear was trousers or shorts, yes she could wear the same, but also she had skirts and dresses also she was not restricted to just wearing socks like me, but she could wear tights and or leg warmers and that was what I wanted, the freedom she had to wear anything, but like I said, I was too scared to say anything.
One day I don't know how, I managed to find my self in the house alone, and consequently I decided to try and find out what it was like to be a girl, not knowing how long I had, I raced to Lisa's bedroom, removing my clothes as I went, by the time I got to her room, all I had on was my underpants, quickly I opened her wardrobe, and took out her yellow sun-dress, and slipped it on, after which I went to her drawers and took out a pair of her white school socks, and changed put them on, followed by her black Sarah Jane school shoes, but then just as I had done up the buckle on them I heard the front door open and the sound of Lisa and my mother in the hallway, I could hear my mother asking why my clothes were littering the hallway, I could feel myself going red, with embarrassment, I knew I didn't have time to change out of Lisa's clothes before someone caught me, I had no choice but to face Lisa and my mother dressed the way I was, but I felt I could now explain how I felt, so when I heard my mother calling me I left Lisa's room, dressed in her clothes and faced them, What do you think you are doing, mum gasped, why are you wearing Lisa's things, Mum I said. walking towards her, with tears in my eyes, Mum I said, I want to be a girl, explain mum said as she led me to the living room where we sat down, by now I was crying uncontrollably, what do you mean you want to be a girl, I hate being a boy I said, I want the freedom that Lisa has to be able to dress in anything skirts dresses, not only trousers, I answered, are you serious Lisa said, yes I said as I turned to her, ok mum said we shall see if we can help you, and with that mum contacted the doctor for advcice, and an appointment was then made.
I asked mum If I could wear lisa's dress to the appointment, as I tried to explain that I felt more comfortable wearing it, mum agreed, at the doctors I tried to explain how I felt, and that by becoming a girl would really help me, mum then told the doctor that over the years I had become withdrawn to the point of depression, but the doctor said that he could not formerly diagnose my condition, and I would have to see a councilor, I then asked if I could dress as a girl until I saw someone, the doctor just said that this would have to be worked out, about three weeks later, a letter came from a hospital in London, it was the appointment for me to see a specialist in transgender issues for young people, by this time I was dressing as a girl nearly all the time, that was apart from going to school, after seeing the specialist a couple of times I was diagnosed with gender dysphoria, which meant I was a girl born with a boys body, from this point, I started living in a more feminine way, I am not saying that I wasn't wearing dresses before this time, no of course I'm not, girls clothes were by now a big part of my daily life,
but having the diagnosis confirmed, I found that people around me were more accepting. it wasn't until I was eighteen that I was able to have an operation, removing me male genetailia and turning me more into a complete woman, and believe me this was the happiest day of my life, finally any trace of Paul was gone and finally I was Sarah.
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