Where to begin? A psychologist suggesting putting words to paper would help find some type of a closure or at least peace of mind. In days gone by, we would literally put pen to paper. These days it is easier to just blog and let your fingers move as you present your thoughts.
I was a honeymoon baby. Born 9 months and just a few days after my parents were married. They were aged 20 and 21 and it was a first marriage for them both. They also both were still living at home with their parents when they married. My mother was not employed and my father was just finishing up his active service in the Navy. My mother would later complain to me that I ruined their marriage by being born too early and not allowing them to be alone together.
I suppose being conceived on their honeymoon was my fault.
Initially they lived in an upstairs apartment in military housing just across the street from the naval base. I was born while they lived in that apartment and I believe we still lived there when my brother was born 2 years later. If not, we moved either just before or directly after he was born. My father was still attached to the navy but was permanently at this naval base. Thus he would come home every day.
I have an early memory of a public swing set in the middle of the buildings. Though I think I would have been too young to truly remember such a thing. I was last told by family members that my mother was upset I would cry during the day. So she would leave me in a back bedroom with the door closed, and wait for my father to come home to change my diapers. This had a bit of further support when my mother later admitted to me that she loved my birth brother more because he was a quiet baby and I cried all the time.
I suppose needing my diapers changed was my fault.
My mother once told me that she was miserable when pregnant with me. Her doctor had her on a diet that she did not like and I was a constantly crying baby once I was born. When she later became pregnant for a second time, she did not adhere to a diet and thus was happier in her pregnancy and had an easier to care for baby.
The second home was a duplex unit. It had a small yard and swing set in the back area which I remember. I remember my brother being in a high chair and only months old. I remember my father's parents coming to visit. I remember my father's teenage sister coming for Halloween to trick or treat with me. I became frightened at some trick or treaters that came to our door, and so I hid under my bed.
My father came home one day after being officially separated from active duty with the navy. He brought home a huge duffel bag. I remember he put me in the bag and slung me on to a bed. I was squealing with happiness.
As soon as he was detached from active duty, my parents bought their home in San Lorenzo. I remember coming to it on that first day and it was empty. The previous owners had left a large clown doll in the room that was to be mine. Such a treasure. I kept that doll safe all my years in that house..