We are so happy that you have decided to better yourself.
many other groups and organizations claim to hold the secret to true spiritual enlightenment but we are the only one that can truly offer it to you with no string attached.
What's the catch you may ask? Well there is none we don't need any sort of money or payment in order to join us as nobody should have to pay for the truth.
All you must do is follow our simple 9 step lesson plan. please scroll down the page to lesson one when you are ready to begin. but don't skip any lesson in fact don't even look at them unless u have completed the previous lessons.
Lesson one.
write down the date that you began your journey. be sure to keep it with you it is a very important date in your life that you will always want to remember. once you have done this proceed to lesson 2.
Lesson two. Lesson 2 there is only 1 god his name is zaneeko he created everything, knows everything, and is all powerful. He wants you to treat everyone with love and respect even if they do not treat you the same,commit no crimes and follow all the rules set in place by The Path Of Enlightenment. In order to achieve enlightenment you must pray to him and give your eternal soul to him if you do not you will never have an afterlife and you will be forced to be reincarnated until you do. proceed to lesson 3
Lesson 3 pray to zaneeko every night before bed for him to help you with your enlightenment. now proceed to lesson 4
Lesson 4 you must stop eating all things that are impure. you must eat vegan. and while there is nothing wrong with things like corn or grain our order believes that by eating only rice and nut butter and drinking only water we can achieve enlightenment much faster. eat this diet for 9 days then you may proceed to lesson 5 but keep in mind if you mess up or cheat you may not proceed but don't be discouraged try again until you get it right for 9 days.
lesson 5
as of this moment you are no longer bound by the diet it was simply a test to prove that you can be strong well done you are progressing well. You may eat whatever you like but if you must eat meat please pray to zanneko that the animal did not suffer. proceed to lesson 6
lesson 6 as of this moment you may not have sex ever but you may masturbate on Tuesdays. remember you will not achieve enlightenment if you do not follow our rules wait 3 weeks then proceed to the next lesson.
Lesson 7 you have done well to get this far I hope you like your limited orgasm release because in order to receive your next lesson you must do it for you whole life if you are ready to commit to that proceed to lesson 8
Lesson 8 you will now being doing third eye meditation every night after praying to zaneeko. lucid dreaming and astral projection are encouraged please do research if you don't know the terms google is your friend. do this for 3 months then proceed to next lesson.
Congradulations you have achieved enlightenment zaneeko is proud of you. however there is a saying you either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become a villain. since you are now perfectly enlightened you have no reason to live on this earth anymore. so in exactly 9 months you will take your own life and be rewarded by zaneeko with eternal bliss. 9 months will give you a chance to set your affairs in order. I hope to see you in the afterlife Namaste and good luck.