Cookies!
Mood:  energetic

Hey, I just tried to make cookies! And it worked! Everything went completely perfectly! Thank the gods above for recipeez are. I made super chocolatey cookies. It was a really neato recipe.

 

 

 

 

 

And if anyone asks why there's cocoa in that crack between the stove and the countertop, I haven't a clue...

bored again.
Mood:  happy

Hey yall, just for you stalkers out there, I've decided to upd8..... And I have absolutely nothing important to say. No new, really earth-shattering news, stories or random poetry. My life itself is boring and almost too easy. I'm spending my time "defining my individuality" and doing weird things most teenagers don't find normal, such as being excessivly sarcastic to the stupid or mean people in my classes, reading star wars novels, updating this blog, thinking odd thoughts, and astounding my teachers with my schoolwork.

Yawn.
Other than the facts that my sub-consious is really outdoing itself when it comes to dreams, everything is normal and BORING. The only vaguely interesting thing that's happening is my stories on fanfiction dot net are actually getting good, positive feedback. Hey, anyone who has a fanfiction account, I go by the pen name tameera and write for Legend of zelda and the Inheritance Book Cycle.

Shel silverstein poetry
Mood:  chillin'

Shel silverstein ROCKS!!!!

There is a place where the sidewalk ends
And before the street begins,
And there the grass grows soft and white,
And there the sun burns crimson bright,
And there the moon-bird rests from his flight
To cool in the peppermint wind.

Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black
And the dark street winds and bends.
Past the pits where the asphalt flowers grow
We shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And watch where the chalk-white arrows go
To the place where the sidewalk ends.

Yes we'll walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And we'll go where the chalk-white arrows go,
For the children, they mark, and the children, they know
The place where the sidewalk ends.

 

Rain
I opened my eyes
And looked up at the rain,
And it dripped in my head
And flowed into my brain,
And all that I hear as I lie in my bed
Is the slishity-slosh of the rain in my head.

I step very softly,
I walk very slow,
I can't do a handstand--
I might overflow,
So pardon the wild crazy thing I just said--
I'm just not the same since there's rain in my head

 

 

secret language
Once I spoke the language of the flowers,
Once I understood each word the caterpillar said,
Once I smiled in secret at the gossip of the starlings,
And shared a conversation with the housefly
in my bed.
Once I heard and answered all the questions
of the crickets,
And joined the crying of each falling dying
flake of snow,
Once I spoke the language of the flowers. . . .
How did it go?
How did it go?

 

Last night, while I lay thinking here,
some Whatifs crawled inside my ear
and pranced and partied all night long
and sang their same old Whatif song:
Whatif I'm dumb in school?
Whatif they've closed the swimming pool?
Whatif I get beat up?
Whatif there's poison in my cup?
Whatif I start to cry?
Whatif I get sick and die?
Whatif I flunk that test?
Whatif green hair grows on my chest?
Whatif nobody likes me?
Whatif a bolt of lightning strikes me?
Whatif I don't grow talle?
Whatif my head starts getting smaller?
Whatif the fish won't bite?
Whatif the wind tears up my kite?
Whatif they start a war?
Whatif my parents get divorced?
Whatif the bus is late?
Whatif my teeth don't grow in straight?
Whatif I tear my pants?
Whatif I never learn to dance?
Everything seems well, and then
the nighttime Whatifs strike again!

 

random
Mood:  lyrical

random good quotes by libba bray and others:

And that is how change happens. One gesture. One person. One moment at a time."

"In each of us lie good and bad, light and dark, art and pain, choice and regret, cruelty and sacrifice. We’re each of us our own chiaroscuro, our own bit of illusion fighting to emerge into something solid, something real. We’ve got to forgive ourselves that. I must remember to forgive myself. Because there is a lot of grey to work with. No one can live in the light all the time."

"You can never really know someone completely. That’s why it’s the most terrifying thing in the world, really—taking someone on faith, hoping they’ll take you on faith too. It’s such a precarious balance, It’s a wonder we do it at all. And yet.."

"Shall I tell you a story? A new and terrible one? A ghost story? Are you ready? Shall I begin? Once upon a time there were four girls. One was pretty. One was clever. One charming, and one...one was mysterious. But they were all damaged, you see. Something not right about the lot of them. Bad blood. Big dreams. Oh, I left that part out. Sorry, that should have come before. They were all dreamers, these girls. One by one, night after night, the girls came together. And they sinned. Do you know what that sin was? No one? Pippa? Ann? Their sin was that they believed. Believed they could be different. Special. They believed they could change what they were--damaged, unloved. Cast-off things. They would be alive, adored, needed. Necessary. But it wasn't true. This is a ghost story remember? A tragedy. They were misled. Betrayed by their own stupid hopes. Things couldn't be different for them, because they weren't special after all. So life took them, led them, and they went along, you see? They faded before their own eyes, till they were nothing more than living ghosts, haunting each other with what could be. With what can't be. There, now. Isn't that the scariest story you've ever heard?"

"We all do things we desperately wish we could undo. Those regrets just become part of who we are, along with everything else. To spend time trying to change that, well, it's like chasing clouds."

 "Because you don't notice the light without a bit of shadow. Everything has both dark and light. You have to play with it till you get it exactly right."

"There are no safe choices. Only other choices. There are no safe choices

"We're all strangers connected by what we reveal, what we share, what we take away--our stories. I guess that's what I love about books--they are thin strands of humanity that tether us to one another for a small bit of time, that make us feel less alone or even more comfortable with our aloneness, if need be."

"There is much asked and only so much I think I can or should answer, and so, in this post I would like to give a few thoughts on what seemed to be the overwhelming question: “WHY?”
And here is the best answer I can give: Because.

Because sometimes, life is damned unfair.

Because sometimes, we lose people we love and it hurts deeply.

Because sometimes, as the writer, you have to put your characters in harm’s way and be willing to go there if it is the right thing for your book, even if it grieves you to do it.

Because sometimes there aren’t really answers to our questions except for what we discover, the meaning we assign them over time.

Because acceptance is yet another of life’s “here’s a side of hurt” lessons and it is never truly acceptance unless it has cost us something to arrive there.

Why, you ask? Because, I answer.

Inadequate yet true."

 

"Eve didn't choose to eat the apple. She was tempted by the serpent."
"Yes," I argue, thoughts coming out half-formed. "But...she didn't have to take a bite. She chose to."

"No one asks how or what I am doing. They could not care less. We’re all looking glasses, we girls, existing only to reflect their images back to them as they’d like to be seen. Hollow vessels of girls to be rinsed of our own ambitions, wants, and opinions, just waiting to be filled with the cool, tepid water of gracious compliance.
A fissure forms in the vessel. I’m cracking open.
--Libba Bray"

"If God has nothing better to do than punish schoolgirls for a bit of tomfoolery, then I've no use for God. "

"What frightens you?
What makes the hair on your arms rise, your palms sweat, the breath catch in your chest like a wild thing caged?
Is it the dark? A fleeting memory of a bedtime story, ghosts and goblins and witches hiding in the shadows? Is it the way the wind picks up just before a storm, the hint of wet in the air that makes you want to scurry home to the safety of your fire?
Or is it something deeper, something much more frightening, a monster deep inside that you've glimpsed only in pieces, the vast unknown of your own soul where secrets gather with a terrible power, the dark inside?"

so true.....

none
Mood:  sad
Topic: Girl guide camp

I hate denova.

I have a girl guide leader who is an absolute monster. She ruins everyones fun. Pathfinders is an amazing, fun, awesome program that I love with all my heart. I've been a girl guide since I was 5 years old. And now I'm quitting because of one sour, cranky, bossy, impossible bitch. No one likes her, but, seeing as she's a volunteer, no one can tell her to get her ass out of our unit. Just to complicate matters, ..... Well, here's the situation as I see it:

1. She has a daughter in the same unit as me, who has to, of course, be the exact same age as me.
2. I happen to like this girl quite a bit and don't want to hurt her by telling her I hate her mother.
3. As I said before, everyone hates her. That includes the other unit leader, silvia, who is one of the best leaders in the entire district; My own mother despises her; The other girls in the unit; and quite a few girls not in our unit.
4. Again, she's a volunteer.
5. Other than her incredibly bitchy attitude, she's an awesome leader in the eyes of everyone else.
6. I'm 14. Who the hell listens to a 14-year old like an equal adult? I won't be humble and say I'm stupid. I'm one of the smartest kids in the grade and I know for a fact that nobody in whatever council chooses and maintains leaders, will give a shit about my opinion.
7. I love girl guides, but this beast is making me quit an organization I've loved since I was 5.
8. I am an amazing actor. I've made it the entire year being polite and wearing a mask whenever she's around. That fucking mask has/is broken. I know fully well that if I go to one more meeting, I'll snap. Me snapping (and it's only happened extremely rarely,) means swearing, insults, tears and most likely me storming off. Despite the general gist of this blog, I'm actually a fairly quiet, patient, polite person. Admittadly, and I know it's bad for you to do this, I bottle up my anger, and this blog is my outlet for it. I also have more self-control than I know what to do with. That is quite probably the only reason I made it throughout the year without snapping.

So yeah, those are the facts. Basically, I have no idea what to do.

funny
Mood:  bright
Topic: Random poem

Yay, it's random poem time! This poem is called "funny"

It's funny how hello is always
Accompanied with goodbye
It's funny how good memories
Can start to make you cry
It's funny how forever
Never seems to really last
It's funny how much you'd lose
If you forgot your past
It's funny how "friends" can just
Leave you when you're down
It's funny how when you need someone
They're never really around
It's funny how people can change
And think they're so much better
It's funny how many lies
Can be packed in one love letter
It's funny how people forgive
Even thought they can't forget
It's funny how one night
Can contain so much regret

It's funny how ironic
Life turns out to be
But the funniest part of all...

Is that none of that's funny to me.

tonight
Mood:  don't ask
Urrrrggg..... Okay, so tonights my uncles birthday. That means we're going to my cousin jericho's place, where he will have a friend over and completely ignore my sister and I. Declan and noah will be infuriating. Grandma and grandpa will ask me questions that are really hard to answer. My aunt and uncle will ask me how schools going (which they ask me EVERY SINGLE TIME). Everyone will want to know what book I'm reading so they can tell me to stop reading it and "socialize", which I positively hate doing. The aforementioned aunt will expect me to eat just like her kids and not be picky at all. The one time jericho will give me any attention is when he trys to act smarter than me and brag about all the stupid shooting games he loves playing. Whenever I try to find a quiet corner with my laptop so I can write my stories, everyone will STALK me to that quiet corner and read over my shoulder, which, believe it or not, I absolutely loathe. Then I'll have an unwanted commentry on the story and I'll then close the laptop and try finding another quiet corner so I can read a fairly large book, which everyone will have an opinion on. THEN, I see that Noah stole my story idea notebook and (by this point I'm feeling irate and grouchy),I'll yell at him to give it back, which is when he goes screaming and crying to his mother that I yelled at him meanly, at which point everyone sees me as the bad guy. Then they all dote on noah and give me the evil eye for the rest of the stay. Such fun.

camp!
Mood:  chillin'
Topic: Girl guide camp
Hey'yall. I won't be posting anything this weekend, cause I'm going to a girl guide camp. 'S called break the rules camp, and I'm bringing a friend.

stupid cats.
Mood:  irritated
Topic: look at the freaking title.
AAARRRGGHH!!!! Okay, so a little background for my mood this morning. I have 2 cats. One of them is a 14 year old grey female, who happens to be extremely territorial. The other is a 20 month old orange male, who enjoys annoying the other cat. Can't you just SEE the trouble brewing!!!!! They yell at each other all the time and wake my family and I up at like 5 in the morning! Grrrrrr......

none
Mood:  energetic
Topic: really bored
Hello nerds of the internet. In case you're wondering, I do indeed fit in that category. So sad. That was sarcasm folks. On another note, I am completely and totally bored. *sigh* I've read all my books, My DVD player is broken, and I've finished all my legend of Zelda nintendo games. What to talk about.... Oh, I know! How many of you have played Legend of Zelda? It's the most incredible game series ever in my highly esteemed opinion, canceling out just about everything else from mario to pokemon. The only game series that even comes close is probably super smash brothers, and even that normally has Link in it. Well yeah. That is all I feel the need to talk about for now so see ya.