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a-okNow Playing: Heal your broken heart now !
Hello peers, I'm somewhat new here but not new. I used to be on here a few years ago but stopped attending the site once my heart got healed. Now years later after another heart break I'm back but this time with a vengeance laced with knowledge! Just to let you guys know my latest heart break read on and I will try to keep it short...I promise !
A few years ago I met a woman online but she was involved with a man. She told me that the relationship was complicated and wanted out so I was like okay, I'll help you get out so we began to start seeing one another. The first two weeks were fine. We went to the movies, bowling, played pool, rented videos and had great sex. One day while she was in my bed sleeping, I went through her phone and noticed that she had been texting her ex. That next morning I asked her has she been texting him and she denied it. I asked her three more times and she kept denying it until I confronted her with the phone proof. Then she admitted it. So right then the trust was gone.
I broke up with her but two weeks later we made up and started kicking it again. The sex was just perfect then I got her pregnant. We planned it. About two weeks after the pregnancy she started acting strange. I felt something wasn’t right so I confronted her over and over again then she admitted to me that she slept with her ex two weeks after she conceived with me. So I didn't know if the child was even mine but she assured me that it was my child and that her ex had a vasectomy and couldn't have any more children. I was very pissed and broke up with her again. However deep down inside I felt bad because I didn't want to abandon her if the child was mine but at this point I had no trust in her.
So for nine months we would make up, break up, have sex, make up, break up, have sex....this happened over the course of the entire pregnancy. After the baby was born I got a dna test and the results came back as the child being mine. Cool. So I was like let's see if we can work this out between us two so that we could raise our child together but deep in my mind I was like I don't trust you and don't want to be with you. So over the next year and a half we continued to break up and make up over and over again. Then she gets a Face book account and I noticed that she was adding male friends like crazy. I too was on the internet I admit but I was on there because I wanted someone else to be with before I left her for good....which is called a rebound relationship. I did sleep with other women to get revenge on her but I've learned that if you truly love someone, no matter what, you wouldn't or shouldn't have sex with someone else because your heart wouldn't be in the right place and you could end up hurting the other person especially if you are only using them as a revenge tool which is what I've done and let me tell you...that was not a good thing too do because when you hurt someone, your energy/karma shall returned back unto you for which you've put out.
You see, I was afraid to leave my ex because of fear of loneliness and losing her to another man. She has had sex a few months ago when we were together and she admitted it and let me tell you, it hurt me soooo much just laying in bed knowing that the woman you truly love has slept with another man even though I knew this has happened before. Every time we broke up, I would go on days crying and weeping for her. She would then call my mother and my mother would convince me to take her back because she felt sorry for the girl and I was delighted to do so. But once again it only lasted no more than a few days before we started to argue again and I break up with her. All of the break ups were initiated by me.
So Finally about 13 weeks ago (over 3 months), I caught her in a lie about not giving out her number to anyone on Face book. I had my suspicions but had no proof. I was in this vicious cycle with this woman. I was so engulfed and insecure about myself that I lost all honor for myself. Anyway, she gave me her Face book pass word and I read the emails to guys she was chatting with and I saw when she gave them her number. She told me over the phone that she never gave her number out anyone but I was looking at the emails right before my eyes on the computer. After I told her what I was viewing, she then told me that one of the guys were gay and that another guy she never talked to over the phone.
I saw how she was telling this guy all of our business and of course by him being a guy, he started talking bad about me and putting me down without even knowing me. It was at that moment I decided to FACE MY FEARS ! I told her it was over and this time I'm never taking her back. I changed my number but she would then call my sister and mother trying to check up on me. In the past that tactic would have worked but now it doesn't. For all of three months....I CRIED LIKE A BABY ! Yall I mean I really BALLED VERY HARD each and every day. Missing her, thought about taking her back even knowing that she's the one who played me and lied to me. There were moments I felt like not wanting to live anymore. I was depressed, sad, down, crying, lost 20 lbs, didn't hang around no body! I stayed secluded in my apartment everyday just thinking about her.
I have went online to find help. I came across this website that says "FORGET YOUR EX IN 24 HOURS" right? Now knowing that is almost next to impossible I read the testimonies and was compelled to purchase it for $30. Yes the book had things in it that basically tells you about the mind and exercises you could use to get over your EX. Now folks I'm going to keep it real with you...IT DID NOT WORK ! Why do people use people emotions and who are sensitive take advantage of them in order to gain financial gain? Now perhaps some of you could forget your ex in 24 hours but I know of no one who could do that. So just to let you people know....be weary about e-books that promises you get over your broken heart and especially the ones that says "How to get your ex back“.
Okay people here's the deal. If you are going through a painful broken heart, I truly know how you might feel. You probably feel as though you are the only one in the whole world that has the biggest broken heart in mans history! In a sense, you are correct and reason I say that is because you are your own person but in reality, you are really not alone. In order to help relieve your broken mind (which is what I call it, not your heart) would be to DECIDE on your own to WANT to live again. For me, I didn't want to live and tried to keep a diary of my days events but couldn't bare to write down my feelings and then go back and re-read them because I would start to cry all over again.
Now this thing called "NO CONTACT" in my opinion is effective. Reason why I said that was because by having no contact with your ex, you are establishing who you are and that true happiness comes from within and shouldn't be validated through someone else. Often times we as a people get caught up with our lovers that we unconsciously give them power over us. What I mean by power, we become dependent on them and used to their ways that whenever we part from them, we missed them ! What I have done was changed my number, stopped calling my ex, no text, through away anything that reminded me of her. Yet I still balled and cried like a baby! No Contact means that you are valuing YOU as a loving person and that your God has the ability to heal your mind and be your source of happiness.
Now here goes the funny part....KARMA!
I'm sure most of you know what this term means. Karma means what you soe is what you reap. You get back what you put out. So if you've cheated on your current lover or past lovers an have not learned of your actions then you must be repaid back for what you have done towards others. No persons are totally innocent and no relationship is not perfect. If you are feeling lonely, depressed, crying like crazy and not having the will to live then this is you facing your FEARS ! You must go back into your mental index and think about what you have done in your past. Once you have identified them or all of them then you must first asked your God to forgive you for what you have done and ask your God to HELP you forgive you yourself as well. Your God has already forgiven you but the hard part is us forgiving ourselves. Once you have done the forgiving part, ask your God to give your the strength to over come this burden you are dealing with.
Now there is really no magic formula to heal your broken mind simply because it is these periods of time that you need to experience in order to learn and to evolve to a higher level of existence. I also will not bad mouth your ex nor tell you that it's not your fault. People will tell you this only to help you feel better but nothing could be further from the truth. It's both of yalls fault and if you are the one who got dumped, revert back to what I mentioned earlier about KARMA. Yes it hurts like hell doesn't it? Trust me I know, however God still loves you and you are going through this for your life lesson only to make you stronger. If you were the dumper....same goes for you but for some dumpers, this gives them power and makes them feel good because they see you're hurting and they thrive off that. Not all dumpers are like that but allot of them are. They could at least care about your feelings and don't just jump into another relationship as soon as they left you...show some sort of consideration. But if the relationship was full of physical abuse then you should leave and the hell with their feelings because they have demonstrated their love for you is supreme and they feel that they are above you. So yeah, if you are getting abused, get out of the relations and pray to your God for strength to help you leave and stay gone.
If you have children then again, ask your God to direct your ways and show you how to deal with your children and the other parent. People listen, the answer is already there...it's inside your mind but many of us refuse to utilize our inner power because we really don't think we are able to be strong. I have also read on the Internet that time does not always heal all wombs. Let me tell you something...time does heal all wombs but for it to be effective, you have to also include other material to utilize your healing process such as writing affirmations, visualization, hypnosis (therapy) or any other self help you could think of. You don't have to turn to the internet for e-books to learn to heal your mind/heart simply because they are based solely on your emotions to get your money. Now not all e-books are like that but based on my research, most of them are about getting your money.
Now about "GET YOUR EX BACK", that's quite a trip. Yes you long for your ex but you should think about this. When the two of you were together, were things all good and peachy? Of course not, there were times when you all argued, broke up, couldn't agree on nothing etc.. Do not use the NO CONTACT rule as a tactic to getting your ex back. The NO CONTACT should be used for YOU to GET YOU BACK not your ex. Once you face your fear which is probably what you are doing or going through now, you began to learn things about yourself you never knew existed. Once you get stronger, when the tears began to slow down to a halt, when you can actually get out of bed and feel okay then you have evolved ! Now once you evolved yourself, it would then be up to you to whether or not to accept your ex back. Most often when people evolved from enduring a broken heart, they have no need to accept their ex's back.
Finally, do not rebound meaning rushing into another relationship just to get over you ex because chances are, you will be in the same situation with your new lover like you are in now with your ex! Don't do that....stay focus. Now like I first mentioned, you must first DECIDE to live again. That's all it takes to get the ball rolling for healing. It is said that if you make one step, God makes two. Once you have DECIDED to want to get better then events and circumstances would began to take form. You might find yourself being able to actually go over to your friends or family members houses, or go to the mall alone and actually enjoy yourself. But it just take one small step on your part which is to DECIDE to want to get better...that's it! Learn from your errors from past relationships and vow to yourself that you will do better with your new lover. Remember, what so ever you soe, you shall reap....so practice sowing good seeds by being honest, truthfully, trust worthy, friendly, and faithful towards all your fellow man including your next lover.
If you would like to chat for more pep talk then feel free to email me at: kaden_one@yahoo.com.
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FOR MEN WHOSE HEART HAS BEEN BROKEN
Hello fellas, welcome to my blog. It is possible that you are here because you have been heart broken by a woman. Let me say that I sympathize with you and understand your pain. When we as men love a woman, we tend to give them our all, our best, our unconditional love and worthiness but somewhere along the lines something went wrong....VERY WRONG ! When a woman leaves us it really hurts us and makes us feel less than confident within ourselves. We as men are grown up to learn to be competitive, strong, impressive and hard. Sometimes we have to put on a strong face to keep from showing our hurt once a woman leaves us. What do we do when we are left to fend for ourselves? Who do we turn to when the love of our lives turn her back towards us? We have questions going through our minds all the time trying to figure out what went wrong.
No I'm not going to tell you how to get over your ex in 24 hours nor will I tell you that it was her fault because it does take two to tangle. Nor would I tell you how you can win back your ex. I am a man and I'm going to give it to you as real as it get. Advice from other women aren't always the same when getting advice from a man. Men understands men. We men know what it feels like to be rejected. We know how we must compete with other men just to win favor from our target (women). Us men are taught not to show fear, not to cry because it's girlish. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of wise women out there that has great knowledge and great advice. Their loving wisdom can help calm us down but it's not the same coming from a man that is just like you.
If you have been dumped by a woman and left out in the cold, I can only imagine how you must be taking hard right now. When a man heart gets broken, it does take longer for us to heal than a woman. Reason being, we are the ones that have to go out and conquer our objective. We also know that we have our competitors competing for the same woman. That hurts us simply because us men work really hard to maintain a steady stream of confidence. We men go out and buy fancy cars, expensive clothes and shoes, shower the woman with lots of gifts and attention. But when our loving heart gets broken after all we have done, our dreams become shattered like glass.
Now men, we must understand that we must pull ourselves together and become REAL MEN ! Most of the crimes that takes place in our society generally involves men trying to impress a woman. If or when our crimes doesn't win back our lover, some men take things to a higher extreme! Some women are raised from young girls to use their bodies to get what they want from men. There are women out there that will entrap you with her sex to gain material wealth from you. Prostitutes sell their bodies for exchange of money and there are always no shorted of men who would be willing to pay for it.
Our minds ,men, are made to be warriors, kings, supermen, tough, smart, generous and so on. In other words we are born to be powerful however we as men have forgotten our roots and resulted into sexual slaves by some women. What you are experiencing is nothing new. You basically have lost your power unconsciously and gave heed to your lover. Now that she sees you being weak, she loses interest. Instead of her seeing you as strong, tough, smart, she now sees you as a wimpy kid. Now she's probably in the arms of another man and all you can do is sit and think what she and her new lover would be doing.
Some men when they get to that point tends to revert to violence. DO NOT DO THIS because you were born to be dominate, loving, secured, successful, smart, tough, and loving. You are too wise for crime. What you now must do and learn is this: even though you might want to cry, then do so in the comfort of your home. Yes I said it....go ahead and ball like a baby. These waves of emotions could last awhile and there are no time frame when you would fully recover but that's okay...you WILL RECOVER!
Stop showing up at her job with roses pleading for her to take you back. Stop texting her, stop emailing her, and finally do not GO OUT AND HAVE REBOUND SEX OR GET INTO A REBOUND RELATIONSHIP. You must understand men that YOU ARE A MAN. A REAL MAN AND I DO MEAN REAL ARE THE ONES THAT RECOGNIZE WHEN YOU HAVE LOST YOUR POWER AND PLACED YOUR HAPPINESS IN THE HANDS OF A WOMAN. Know that even though it seems like you've lost all your power, you didn't. It's still there and is ready and willing to be used once you DECIDE to reclaim your power and man hood. Love your next lover or if you do get back with your ex, love her and be good and don't cheat! At the same time, keep telling yourself that you are in control and you will never give away your man hood again no matter how attractive the woman might be.
By reclaiming your power, you are setting an example for yourself and learning how to love and accept yourself as you are. I know you might be heart broken at the moment but just know you are not alone. You will get through this but also, forgive yourself for your past mistakes while being with your lover or past lovers. Be faithful men. Us men have a negative reputation at this time of reality. Women look at us as liars and no good but for just one thing which is sex and sometimes they might not even like the sex but she might love the attention and gifts you are giving her.
Men it is time we wake up and learn to love ourselves more. We don't have to have more than one woman in our lives at the same time in order to feel confident but this is what us men are taught. We are taught to be players and hustlers and liars. We can change our state of being and make a change for the better. Yes us men have been known to lie and cheat but the reason why is because you or we are afraid of losing all love so to prevent that, we tend to keep more than one woman around our lives.
Let's change that way of behavior men. Women or should I say some women are trained to trap us through their web of sexual seduction. This alone could cause a man to kill and to this very day it is being done for the sake of a woman. Sex we must get under control. We must not let a woman’s sex run our minds and lives. We must be faithful and caring because we men are made to be super loving creatures. So in closing, you are not alone. Stop putting out negative karma by your deceit an disloyalty. Don't contact her nor kiss up to her. By doing these methods, you will gradually regain your power and man hood.
Remember, this too shall pass......be blessed.
