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Contents
• A Few words from Jimi, Eric, Carl and Scotty Beg , Steal, Borrow, Buy New, 2nd Hand Nylon, Steel Acoustic, Electric
• Tuning (Tone Deafness and it’s Cure) Tuning By Ear Tuning by Sight & Touch (The secret Law of Relative Tensions) Tuning Forks, Pitch Pipes, Electronic Tuners etcÉ Tuning to other instrumentsÉ
1st Notes The 3 Chord Trick (Natural Progressions) The 12-Bar Blues 1st 3 Chords (1-finger chords) Tom Dooley / 10,000 Years Ago / My Old Man’s a Dustbin 2nd 3 Chords (multi finger chords) The magic of B7 That’s All Right Mama / Blue Suede Shoes / Fulsom Prison / Just Seventeen / Wonderwall Finger Training & Tip Toughening Using a Capo (The cheats Best Friend) Other 3 Chord groups Fishing in My Pond / Big Road Blues / Milk Cow Blues / Rock Around The Clock Barre Chords etcÉ Flying Saucers Cheat Chords (half chords) Boom Boom Boom / Mood For Love Hitting the Open Strings Dog Shit Blues Scales Chromatic, Major-Minor, Blues & Relatives 12-Bar Bass Lines A Few Riffs Finger Picking / Slides and other esoteric stuff
• Tricks & Techniques Hammering, Sixes & Sevenths, Open Chord Changes (Don’t Stop For Nothing)
• Tools & Accessories Plectrums (To Pick or Not To Pick), Capo, Strap, Case Music Stand, Metronome Music Books & Sheet Music Info from the Internet
• Mates & Other Musicians Arseholes The Lot of Them, well maybe not your matesÉ Playing to an Audience (Don’t Stop For Nothing)
• Support Your Local Music Store Assistance / Repairs / Accessories /Learning Materials / Other Musicians (see above)
• Other Instruments Drum Machines, Keyboards, Computers T-Bass, Washboard, Jews Harp, Harmonica, Shakers and Home-Made Drums
• Miscellaneous Thoughts
• Acknowledgments A lot of people have helped to fuel and fulfil my musical ambitions over the years I’d like to say a big thank-you to all of the following who in some way or another have inspired me to keep going:
Shaking Stephens & The Sunsets (the first band I ever saw) Jarrod and Tiff from the Keytones, Khris and Dave from Lash Lariat & The LongRiders, Ricky Lee Brawn from The Stargazers, Jes Jeffries from The StringBusters, Mark Jamieson PHD of Chicken Shack Records, Buzz Wayne (now Dig Wayne?) from Buzz & the Flyers, Briz from FourteenKarat Soul, Lloyd Gordon of Ladbroke Grove who taught me to hammer in more ways than one, David Reed of Notting Hill Adult Education Centre who taught me to breath, The guitar teacher (whose name escapes me) at Acton Adult Learning Centre who taught me the Magical B7 Chord (I’ve never looked back), the guys at Elgin Music (sadly now long gone) who were so patient with me, Alan Read who sold me his beautiful Norman Guitar (sadly lost in a fire) in Goa in 92, Mental of Goa (sadly demised) who put on the show where I first played in public, the two Alexes and two Lee’s who encouraged me to play and even played backing for me at the next shows I played in Goa, Rocky the Ted who invented the genre known as “DogShit Rock‘n’Roll, Smiley Pete (The Bob Dylan JukeBox) who together with me formed “The Anti-Techno League”, Dr Allan who has let me usurp his stage for the last five years, Naffi, Roshan, Harmonica Ron and all the other Musos who have geed me up or brought me down (both work) over the years, Gary & Caroline (who changed my life), Jo & Christine from Charlie’s Bar in Ibiza who gave me my first professional break, Johnny at Johnny’s Hotel in Goa who is giving me my next professional break. And finally to Little Richard who sang Tutti Frutti to me in 1970 (on the Radio) and showed me there was more to music than Led Fucking Zeppelin.
• A Few words from the Pros
Jimi Hendrix: Paulvis Eggsley teaching Guitar? “What an Experience “
Eric Clapton: There will be a lot more Tears in Heaven if this book sees publication
Carl Perkins: Well I’ll be Dixie Fried it’s all there in Paulvis’ “Amazin” Book
Scotty Moore: The secrets of Rock‘n’Roll GuitarÉWell, That’s Not All Right (Mama)
Chuck Berry: Johnny B. BaddÉ nuff sed
Burt Weedon: This is the beginning of the end for all serious musicians
Bob Dylan: The Times sure are changing if an untalented hack like Paulvis can get away with The DogShit Blues
Mark Knopfler: We are all in Dire Straits if this book come out
Keith Richards: Eh! Wha’appen?
John Williams: Why don’t you just listen to me instead of pursuing your worthless dreams
Hank Marvin: A pale imitation (a mere Shadow) of any real musical worthÉ
MU: It is to be regretted that there is no way to prevent the publication of this scurrilous tome.
Introduction
Hi Y’all, My name is Paul Harry Eagle, yep that’s my real name but I am also known by a few others’ In the case of this book Nervous Paulvis Eggsley will do. I am a professional entertainer. That means I put food in my mouth and otherwise sustain myself by putting on shows and entertaining folks. One of the shows I do is: Nervous Paulvis Eggsley’s Mean & Lonesome, Low Down Dirty, Dog-Shit Rock‘n’Roll Blues Show. The reason it is called Dog-Shit Rock’n’Roll is because the way I play guitar (and sing) is absolutely crap. Some people think it is all an act and that I actually possess a high degree of musical talent that I purposely keep hidden in order to sustain the tension of my show. These people are sadly deluded, and often a little upset when they realise that I am not going to finish my show a’la Victor Borgé and deliver a musical masterpiece as a finalé. The fact is that I like you (probably) am totally cack-handed, tone deaf and completely lacking in any musical talent whatsoever. Or at least I was until I discovered the secrets contained in this lil’ol book. I’m still not very good (ask any real musician) but I have managed to put enough bits and pieces together (short-cuts, cheats, weird techniques etcÉ) to put on a show that for all it’s musical shortcomings manages to keep most people entertained (ask any non-musician member of my audience). I have written the book hopefully to encourage anyone who has tried to learn (maybe many times) and given up. Or those of you who would dearly love to play but think (pretend that they know) that they can’t. WELL!! Now Dig ThisÉ (As the Jodimars* used to say)É YOU CAN PLAY and even sing tooÉ Anyone can! Maybe not brilliantly but you can become OK, reasonable, not bad, promising, for sure I promise youÉ and that’s a lot better than NOT Being Able To Play At ALL. Right? Right.
A friend of a friend gave me my first guitar (beware of Greeks bearing Gifts) at the age of nineteen and it stayed hanging on my bedroom wall for the next ten years. Oh yes, I tried to learn how to play the damn thing, every few years I would take it down, get someone to tune it for me and try and try and try and ultimately fail to make any kind of coherent, let alone enjoyable sound(s). The reason for this was quite simply because the methods employed in most books and the tips given by most musicians take no regard for any lack of dexterity or skill on the part of the novice musician. It’s almost like a closed shop. The message seemed to be that unless you already possess a flowing natural talent you should not even attempt to try and learn. If you do possess a natural flowing talent then this is not the book for you. Most books I have read make the learning so difficult that you either can’t get your head around the concepts or more likely can’t get your fingers into the places these pin-head muso boffins insist that you have to master right from the start. If you’re reading this because you’ve been there too you will know what I say is true. For instance I have read it in many books and heard a lot of guitar teachers too, insisting on such things as the absolute necessity of using a pick, forcing the use of steel strings and teaching such indescribably painful chords as F and C right from the very first go. Usually with the admonition that you should learn the difficult (ie painful) ways first otherwise you might pick up wrong (and therefore difficult to break) habits. Talk about a painful learning curve, it’s no wonder that a lot of people (including me) give up completely after the first few lessons. My personal theory is that unless a student can see, hear or feel some progress in (whatever discipline they are studying) by the end of their third lesson it is doubtful they will keep their enthusiasm or determination to practice and will probably miss their fourth and all subsequent lessons. This book will have you playing (and singing) a very simple tune/song in less than 30 minutesÉ Guaranteed! OK you’re not going to sound like Chuck Berry after half an hour but I promise you one tune and a couple of songs to go with it that you will be able to play easily. I mean EASILY The point being that later on, as you study and practice the more difficult and complicated stuff, of which there is quite a bit in the rest of the bookÉ Instead of giving up when you can’t get the tune right and/or your fingers are hurting you can go back to this simple tune (on page ) and play it over and over again, treating yourself to your own music. This is what worked for me, the simple realisation that I wasn’t beaten, that I could and would conquer this goddamn box and get an identifiable and enjoyable sound out of it gave me the enthusiasm to continue learning the more complex stuff, which I am still doing today... If you have been discouraged before, try this method just one time, if you really, really, really want to play, it could be that your wishes are about to come true. Cheers Paul.E
Chapter 1
• Getting Started Hopes, Dreams, Aspirations This book is not going to show you how to play like Jimi Hendrix, nor provide you with the riffs to Smoke on the Water, Dark Side of the Moon, Sympathy for the Devil or any other fancy stuff. This is simply a method that I have used to teach myself and countless other Non-Player to get them started playing very simple guitar chords that provide a rhythm accompaniment to many popular Rock‘n’Roll, Blues, Folk and Rock songs. If you can’t play a note; If you feel that your fingers are too fat, too short, too long or whatever to hold the strings properly,; If you just simply KNOW that you will never be able to play anything, at all, ever. Then this book is for you. If you are already partly proficient, know a few chords and most importantly know how to fit those chords to different songs then you should perhaps look elsewhere for your muse as you are probably conversant with most of the principles that I have outlined here. That said there are a few little known tricks dotted throughout the book and particularly if you are a guitar teacher or you are interested in teaching others’ then please read through. A lot of the stuff in here will shock and outrage the serious (ie talented) musician but it may also delight and invest a new found enthusiasm in the person who is “All Thumbs” and “Knows They Cannot Play”
Can you handle the Pain? This is the big one. No matter which way you approach it, learning to play guitar HURTS !!!!! I mean it REALLY REALLY REALLY HURTS There’s no denying it, the pain won’t go away and you have to put up with it. First there is the cramp caused by holding your hand in unnatural positions on the fretboard, second is the soreness of your finger tips from holding the strings, or maybe it’s the other way around. It doesn’t matter, the pain is there and if you want to learn you will have to accept the old old clicheÉ NO PAIN NO GAIN!! Sorry! All I can say is that you do get used to it. After a while your fingers stop cramping up while you play stuff that you are getting familiar with (they’ll still cramp every time you practice something new though). And if you play often enough (that’s at least three 30 minute sessions a week) you will start to grow hard callouses on the tips of your fingers. But let no one tell you any different it hurtsÉ OUCH!!
Have you got the Time? This is the other big one, It don’t come easy and it don’t come quick,. You have to be able to put in some regular, and I mean regular practice, preferably every day. Ten minutes every day is infinitely better than an hour or more once a week I like to practice for a few minutes every morning as soon as I get up and again when I get home I usually pick the guitar up and jam for a few minutes before doing anything else. That’s after I kiss the wife and kids but before I take my shower, eat my food, read my mail or deal with anything else, it’s GUITAR GUITAR GUITAR É We may only be messing around but if you really want to learn then you must make it a priority to get in some practice as often as you can.
Have you got a guitar? Stupid question maybe, but you would be surprised at the number of people who ask me to teach them when they haven’t got their own axe. If you want to find out if this book can do what it says (ie get you playing a tune within 30 minutes) then fine, borrow someone elses axe for a session or two but once you have discovered that YOU CAN PLAY and you want to keep on playing (and learning) then YOU MUST GET YOUR OWN GUITAR !!!
It doesn’t have to be a fantastic guitar in fact I would advise against spending more than £150 ($225) on your first box. There are lots to choose from in that price range and unless you are the next Buddy Holly (in which case you don’t need this book) any reasonably serviceable axe should do you to begin with. Even if you are on a really tight budget there are second hand axes to be had at flea markets, music shops, friends houses etcÉ Just be aware that a second hand bargain may need more money spent on it to make it serviceable than a new one might cost. There are more details on choosing your first guitar in the next chapterÉ Chapter 2 • Choosing an Axe (Beg , Steal, Borrow, Buy or Renovate) As I said earlier, my first ever guitar was given to me when I was about nineteen, it wasn’t something I had been expecting or even hoping for. A group of my mates had a crazy idea of forming a band and somehow this old guitar ended up with me. Of course the band idea never took off as none of us could play a note and that guitar stayed with me for more than ten years without me ever being able to play even the most simple of tunes on it. Thinking back that guitar was probably a total piece of shit that as I remember even experienced guitarists had a hard time making any appreciable sound come out of it. I finally gave up trying and gave it away feeling genuine animosity towards the thing. This poisoned chalice very nearly broke my spirit, I was convinced from the experience I had had that I would never ever be able to play anything. A few years later though I found two old broken guitars in the street and blagged another old broken thing off of a mate and paid the local music shop (see chapter ) £20 to make a semi decent one out of the pieces. This is the one I eventually learned to play on. It was still difficult and more than anything painful going but a number of factors made a difference this time: 1 My new guitar had nylon strings instead of steel strings 2 I had my leg in plaster for six weeks and had the time to practice 3 I discovered the EASY 1-finger chords that I explain later in the book (page ) 4 I prayed to Jesus to let me learn three chords
• New or 2nd Hand Well that guitar I first learned to play on was extremely second hand but it played OK (serious musos would probably turn their noses up at it but what the heck) and for the tight budget I was on at the time (sickness benefit due to my leg injury) was all I could afford. As my playing has improved I have been able to justify the purchase of newer and/or better models but that old one is still being played by a friend who I first taught the principles contained in this book. Of course a new guitar is very probably going to look nicer, sound better and even play easier than an old one but nonetheless any guitar is better than no guitar and it depends on your budget and your own confidence in your abilities. If you’ve spent a month’s wages on a Fender, you may feel that you have to learn quickly and therefore justify the expense of the thing and unless you get instant results you will be extremely upset at what you may think was a waste of money. Also having a spanking new Gibson out on display may lead to some embarrassing moments when people expect you to be able to play it like Chuck Berry and you have to explain that you are still learning. I have known people get discouraged and even give up playing because other (serious musos) have slagged off there crumby looking axe and others too who have bought too much and are ashamed of there over enthusiasm. A nice unpretentious looking thing that plays alright but doesn’t shout GUITARIST IN THE HOUSE at everyone who sees it is the best bet for starting out. Don’t spend more than £150 for your first one.
• Nylon, Steel Here is where the issues get contentious so many “real musicians” insist on people starting off with steel strings it seems like a sadistic conspiracy. Let’s get this said right now, steel strings HURT MORE than nylon strings and nylon strings HURT TOO MUCH as it is. Unless you really are looking to play lead guitar in your mates’ band within the next six months (and again if you are this isn’t really the right book for you) then leave the steel strings alone and get yourself a nice nylon Folk Guitar and unless you stand over two metres tall keep it to a reasonable size, no Jumbo boxes yet please. In fact if you are on the shortish side then consider getting a child’s half-size or three-quarter size box to start with. If you are still playing in eighteen months time (and there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be) you can treat your self to an upgrade by which time you will have gained more knowledge, more skills and more confidence in your ability and be able to make your purchase as a GUITARIST instead of as a NOVICE. • Acoustic, Electric Most nylon string guitars (certainly in the price range I mentioned) are simply acoustic and as all solid body guitars have steel strings it leaves little choice as far as I can advise. I’m not saying that you can’t learn with a steel string guitar, of course you can but I really do believe that it is far easier to start with nylon strings. There are some nylon string acoustics with built in pick-ups which are great but a little expensive and anyway while you are learning you won’t need to amplify your sound. The only time I can envision an advantage with a solid body electric guitar is if the noise has to be kept to a minimum in which case you can plug a set of earphones into the guitar and practice in total silence. But bottom line is A cheap nylon string acoustic is the perfect guitar for starting to learn how to play on. Don’t go overboard with your first choice. You must get a strap for your new guitar it is simply too awkward to play it balancing on your knee. A case is useful too but remember you cannot play the guitar when it is inside a case, so unless you are taking it somewhere or it is in real danger of being damaged, always when at home keep your guitar OUT of it’s case. This may seem strange but I assure you that you will practise more often and learn quicker if your guitar is kept OUT of it’s case. Much more important than a case at this point is to purchase a music stand and find some space where you can keep it set up with this book on it and your guitar nearby so you can play whenever you feel like it without the palaver of having to set things up each time you feel like jamin’. Picks or Plectrums are used by nearly all competant musicians but I have never been able to get on with them and for the absolute beginner I would say leave em alone for now. The methods in this book are based on strumming rather than picking and you will find it a lot easier to start playing using just your fingers and thumb. Most muso’s will disagree but what the heck this book isn’t for them it’s for you and unless you feel comfortable using a plectrum I would suggest you wait until you can play with your fingers before you start with a pick.
Chapter 3
• 0 your Guitar
There are three ways that your guitar can be in tune: 1) Concert Pitch. This is where each string is tuned exactly to it’s correct note. This normally means the standard E tuning which is when the six strings starting from the thickest to the thinnest are tuned to the notes of E A D G B E respectively. An easy way to remember these notes (and you will need to know them eventually) is the following sentence: Elvis Am Dead Good Bye Elvis (see EADGBE) a bit sicko but easy to remember.
2) Tuned to another guitar or other instrument This is when each string is tuned to the same corresponding string on another guitar. In most cases this should mean the same as above (ie both instruments tuned to concert pitch) but often the other guitar may be a bit out in which case both instruments will sound OK on their own or together but will not sound right when played alongside other instruments that are correctly tuned.
3) Tuned to itself This is by far the most popular method of tuning a guitar and perfectly suitable for practising and playing on your own. This is where you set the note of the thickest string (E) to as close to the correct pitch as you can (using a tuning fork or pitch pipes if you have to) or to just what sounds right to you and then tune each string relative to the preceding one. What that actually means is that having got the thickest string (E) sounding right to you. You simply hold it at the fifth fret play the note and tune (twist the machine head at the top of the neck to adjust the string tension) the next string to the same note that you have just played. What you are doing by holding the (E) string on the fifth fret is basically playing an (A) note. So if you can get the next string to make the same sound when it is played open then the two strings have been tuned to each other. This process is repeated across the board by holding the string you have just tuned (A) at the fifth fret to produce a (D) note and tuning the next string to this note. Then hold this string (D) at the fifth fret to produce a (G) and tune the next string to this note. Then hold this string (G) at the fourth fret to produce a (B) note and tune the next string to this note Finally hold this last but one string (B) at the fifth fret and play a high (E) note and tune the thinnest string to this note.
Now, I know that a lot of would be guitarists give up the ghost very early on because they simply do not know how to tune their guitar. They understand the technique I have just described but they simply cannot hear when two notes are in tune with each other. In which case the purchase of pitch pipes and/or tuning forks is useless. If you can’t match a note played on two strings then what chance have you matching a note played on a different instrument? A lot of people suffer from this “Tone Deafness” including myself to begin with but I picked up a little (BIG) secret early onÉ It is this: YOU DON’T NEED EARS TO TUNE A GUITAR YOU CAN TUNE A GUITAR USING TOUCH AND SIGHT What? How? ButÉ Sounds crazy? Then a little physics lesson is in orderÉ I don’t know whose law it is (probably Newton’s but it’s called The Law of Relative Tensions) but anyway a fundamental law of physics states that when two strings are in close proximity to each other, if one is struck (ie the note is played) the other string will start to vibrate IF IT IS IN TUNE WITH IT’S NEIGHBOUR!!!! You got that? When two strings are in tune with each other, playing one string will cause the other to vibrateÉ Take another look at your guitar, hold the thickest string (E) at the fifth fret and play the noteÉ Can you see or feel (with your finger nail) the next string (A) vibrating. Yes! Then it is in tune (even if you can’t quite hear it) No! Then it is not in tune (even if you think it sounds alright) It’s as simple as that, follow the procedure outlined above tuning each string to it’s neighbour and see if you can feel or see the vibrations. It’s a bit tricky to start with but it’s a whole lot easier to see and touch a vibrating string (try touching the strings very gently with the NAIL of your finger or thumb) than to hear the notes coming together (especially if you are tone deaf). Check it out on a guitar that you know is in tune (maybe at the music shop) and you will see that I am right. The strings vibrate when the guitar is in tune. Another good thing about this method is that eventually you will train your ear (it took me nearly five years) to hear the differences better. It is also a useful trick to know when you are trying to tune your guitar in a noisy environment (like a gig) and cannot hear the notes properly. Again a lot of the SM (Serious Muso) brigade will knock this approach and often insist that the only way to properly tune a guitar is by the intonation method. I have no intonation sorry intention of even trying to explain this method other than to say yes it does work, yes it probably gives a better overall tuning and yes when you start playing in front of hundreds of people you will probably need to know this but as of now, stuff it. The method I have outlined here is plenty good enough for you to start learning with.
• Tuning Forks, Pitch Pipes, Electronic Tuners etcÉ As I said tuning forks and pitch pipes are of limited value if you are still tone deaf but the advent of cheap (less than £10) electronic tuners really have been a boon and can make tuning a guitar extremely easy. That said, you don’t want to have to keep taking the tuner out of it’s box and setting it up during a session. Strings do go out of tune when they are played and being able to just check by sight and touch and make quick adjustments is a lot less fiddly than messing around with little electronic gizmos all the time
My best advice would be get an electronic tuner if you can afford one and use it at the start of a session but learn and use the sight & touch method while you are jamming.
• Tuning to other instrumentsÉ Let’s face it you’re probably not going to be jamming with the local pub band in the foreseeable future but that’s not to say you can’t find a mate (see chapter ) who will run through some simple stuff with you in which case both or all instruments must be in tune with each other. Not necessarily tuned to concert pitch but definitely in tune with each other. I would expect anyone who plays with you while you are still learning to be a bit more experienced and they should be able to do all the tuning and setting up for you.
Chapter 4
• Playing
This is what you bought the book for, not to read my endless pontification but to actually play some music so here goes:
1st Notes and The 3 Chord Trick (Natural Progressions)
The 12-Bar Blues
1st 3 Chords (1-finger chords)
Tom Dooley / 10,000 Years Ago / My Old Man’s a Dustbin 2nd 3 Chords (multi finger chords) The magic of B7 That’s All Right Mama / Blue Suede Shoes / Fulsom Prison / Just Seventeen / Wonderwall Using a Capo (That’s All You Need) Finger TrainingÉ Other 3 Chord groups Fishing in My Pond / Big Road Blues / Milk Cow Blues / Rock Around The Clock Barre Chords etcÉ Flying Saucers Cheat Chords (half chords) Boom Boom Boom / Mood For Love Hitting the Open Strings Dog Shit Blues Scales Chromatic, Major-Minor, Blues & Relatives 12-Bar Bass Lines | ||
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