1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Let's get this straight;
it's called a 'gravel road.'
I drive a pickup truck
because I want to.
No matter how slow you drive,
you're going to get dust on your Lexus.
Drive it or get out of the way.
3. They are cattle & pigs.
That's what they smell like to you.
They smell like money to us
Get over it.
Don't like it?
I-90 goes east and west,
I-29 goes north and south.
Pick one.
4. So you have a $60,000 car.
We're impressed.
We have $250,000 combines
that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
5. So every person in every pickup waves.
It's called being friendly.
Try to understand the concept.
6. If that cell phone rings while
a bunch of ducks are coming in,
we WILL shoot it out of your hand.
You better hope you don't
have it up to your ear at the time.
7. Yeah, we eat perch & walleye.
You really want sushi & caviar?
It's available at the corner bait shop.
8. The 'Opener refers
to the first day of deer season.
It's a religious holiday held the
closest Saturday to the first of November.
9. We open doors for women.
That is applied to all women,
regardless of age.
10. No, there 's no
'vegetarian special' on the menu.
Order steak.
Or you can order the Chef's Salad and
pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.
11. When we fill out a table,
there are three main dishes:
meats, vegetables, and breads.
We use three spices:
salt, pepper, and Picante Sauce!!
Oh, yeah....We don't care what you folks
in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat...
IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!
Chili was born and bred in South Dakota
...and
we like it with tomatos & beans!
12. You bring 'coke' into my house,
it better be brown,wet,and served over ice.
13. College and high school basketball
is as important here as
the Lakers and the Knicks,
and a dang site more fun to watch.
14. Yeah, we have golf courses.
But don't hit the water hazards --
it spooks the fish.
15. Colleges?
Try South Dakota State University,
University of South Dakota,
or Augustana College .
They come outta there with an education
plus a love for God and country,
and they still wave at passing pickups
when they come for the holidays.
16. We have lots of folks
in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines,
so 'Don't Mess with South Dakota'.
If you do, you will get whipped by the best.
South Dakota is the greatest state ever!!
If you are from South Dakota,
you are one tough cookie !!!
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