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Silly Advice

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Advice

1. Never test the depth of the water with both feet

2. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie

3. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you

4. Don't bite the hand that-looks dirty.

5. Consistency isn't always good, especially if you're consistently wrong

6. You can't have everything.  Where would you put it?

7. A penny saved is... not much.

8. To make a long story short, don't tell it.

9. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.

10. If your dog is fat, you aren't getting much exercise.

11. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back inside your     pocket.

12. Generaly speaking, you aren't learning much if you mouth is moving. 

13. Life is a mystery to be lived, not a problem to be solved.

14. On the other hand, you have different fingers...  

Things to take time to think about them

1. How come abbreviation is such a long word?

2. Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?

3. Do you ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zig-zag?

4. Why is the alphabet in order?  Is it because of that stupid song?

Definitions to remember

1. Etc.: a sign to make others beleive that you know more than you really do.

2. Bacon and Eggs: a days work for the chicken, a life-time investment for the pig.

Try these phrases to tell someone else 

1. "I'd like to help you out, which way did you come in?"

2. "I like long walks, especially those taken by people who annoy me."

3. "My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely."

4. "Just because I don't have a short attention span doesn't mean I..."

 

LIke these? Well come up with your own or tell us ones that someone else once told you and send them in to:

Cardboardzero@netscape.net

or

Alaskanhero0423@aol.com

-W 

P.S. This page will probably soon be move to the portal section.